and foiled the taylor's endeavours at ftrength and durability." You will please to tell me, madam," the colonel faid to Mifs Coufens, "if the re
44 A notable Buckifh Exploit. 'hér ears, which fhe did, and her example was followed by the fervants, who, except the colonel's valet, all followed their lady. The colonel, then addreffing himself to Dr. Wil-verend doctor has delivered the fubliams, defired he would give an account of the affair they came before him about." Sir, replied the doctor, laft night, with my fon, I was taking the air in Mr. Belmont's pleafant lawn, when fomewhat occurred that made me retire with fome precipitation. In my way home I overtook this young lady and her maid, who I found had juft quitted the fame fpot and for the fame reafon: We stopped, and she sent her maid home, as I did my fon, as fuch ears are not the proper receptacles of many things that pafs in converfation. Whilft we were talking over this affair, that vile royster, drunk and graceless, came towards us finging, and caught me, at length, by the collar, protesting, with many bitter oaths, that he had found us in the act of darkness, on the public road, and intimating (I cannot, dare not, repeat his obfcene expreffions) he had feen us rem in re; I know, fir, you underftand me. Aftonifhed, ftruck dumb as we were with his infoience, we could not immediately reply; but you may befure, fir, at length our innocence broke out in a torrent of expreffion; but it all availed nothing, he perfifted in his charge, and Mr.Bacon, the conftable here, at whofe garden gate this infult was committed, appearing and endeavouring to pacify us, Mifs Coufens charged him with the fellow, and he charged him with her and myself, with the most brazen affurance imaginable; the reft the conftable has told you, and you will please to remember we are well known of character and reputation and this fpawn of hellthis imp of the devil (excuse my warmth, fir, never was it more juftifiable) a wretch hitherto unknown to us, who may be, for ought I know, one of the most infamous, as he is one of the moft lying of human beings. In short, fir, his villainous behaviour has raifed fuch horror and deteftation in my mind that I can fcarce exprefs myfelf with any temper-abhor the fight of him-and think he merits the most condign punishment."--At this conclufion, again he hauled up his breeches with fuch violence, as cracked many a ftitch,
ftance of what you would have faid The mortified virgin fignifying he had, the colonel turning to Clarke, who feemed to plume himself upon this ad- venture, and had by feveral winks and nods indicated that it would produce bigh fun, faid," young man, I have some reafon not to tender an oath to you, as your condition, and perhaps deter- mination, would render it improper : But you have liberty to speak for your- felf, though much I fear you will on- ly add to the guilt with which you will hereafter be covered. This re- verend divine and that lady are perfons well known and well refpected---I hap- pen also to recollect who you are, this very moment; but of that hereafter :-- Jack Clark, with all the effrontery imaginable, returned, "I acknowledge to your worship I am a little non compos fluttered-or fo-but d-n me---L-d forgive me! I hope I have done fome service to the world by discovering the iniquity of thefe finnersl-That there parfon, as he calls himfef- I believe he is the bellfwagger of Mims, for my part-and that piece of letcherous antiquity.---Laft night, and please your worship, I had flept fometime in the place they fay they retired from, and perhaps was waked by the same scream- ing-but mum for that-as I was go- ing towards the town-a little round about I confefs---I heard a man's and woman's voices, by the fide of a little copfe quite retired and fit for the purpofe- I heard the words-kifs me-no, my dear-too publick, You fhall I won't-rape- confent -Oh! Oh! and fome other critical ejaculations, which foon convinced me what they were about; and regard for decency carried me nearer---when, oh L---d! what a fight! -That brawny old cufhion thumper, was in fuch a pofture with madam Prim there that I am fure the father that begot me and the mother that bore me were never in closer con- tact-It is true they were not up. on the ground, but ftood up-and we know that wickednefs like their's may be committed in all fituations. Well, d-n it, I was refolved to
POETICAL ESSAYS in JANUARY, 1766.
bring them to fhame, and seized them
in the fact, and a deal of disputing enfued, but I kept my hold till an honeft conttable appeared, to whom I gave charge of them, for acts of indecency on the king's highway, and at the fame
time, madam there, charged me with violent affault upon her body, (to be fure fhe took me for the parfon) and I have been prifonér ever fince, as the conftable has informed your worship." [To be continued in our next.]
A Calculation of the Eclipfe of the Moon on the 24th of February next, from Mayer's Solar and Clairaut's Lunar Tables, by Stephen Ogle, Teacher of the Mathematics at Rotherhithe.
3 dig. 40 min. on the moon's upper limb.
The whole eclipfe may be seen almoft in any part of Europe, Afia, or Africa. But in America not much more than the end will be feen, and that only at the Brafils and in the eastermost parts of North America.
POETICAL ESSAY S.
PROLOGUE and EPILOGUE to the DouBLE MISTAKE, a new Comedy, now alling at the Teatre Royal in Covent-Garden. (See p. 28.)
PROLOGUE, Spoken by Mr. Smith. T°
O lead attention through five acts of profe,
Where to foft notes no tuneful couplet flows; To please each heart, each judgment, eye
The attempt how bold! the labour how fevere! Thus I addrefs'd our bard; who quick reply'd, With honeft diffidence and modeft pride: "If I fhould fail, I fhall not think it shame To mifs, what few have gain'd, the wreath of fame.
This fpot I deem the public treasury,
Where wits, rare coins, for general fervice lie; Where critics, ftrict examiners, are plac'd, To try each piece by that nice ftandard, taite;
And what to public ufe may be apply'd, Is juftly fav'd; what faulty thrown aside.
Hence, 'tis the poet's duty to difpenfe Each various vein of humour, wit, or fenfe Not, mifer-like, to his own hoard confine The Inalleft fpa-k of nature's genuine mine; But to the mule his grateful tribute pay, And in the common mint his quota lay."
On this refolve, he, to your fterling store Prefents a fpecimen of untry'd ore; If any worth it bears, affay'd by you, His private talent is the public due; And should it not disgrace your brilliant mafs; Give it your ftamp, and let the metal pais. EPILOGUE, Spoken by Mifs Wilford.
Had an epilogue to speak to night, But I'm fo hurried, put in fuch a fright, Deuce take me!-if I ha'nt, forgot it quite. To fee my name in firit night's play bill
POETICAL ESSAYS in JANUARY, 1766.
An epilogue, befides, to get by heart, 'Tis most unmerciful, too long a part- But they fo coax'd and wheedled me to duty, Left I should fret-for fretting fpoils one's beauty,
That, in obedience to the kind command, A fuppliant to your favour, here I ftand: And hope, instead of what had been prepar'd, Some nonfenfe of my own may now be heard. Well! I have had a great escape, I own, From being made the jeft of all the town; For from the court-end I could claim no pity,
Nor had more to hope for from the city; Such matches rarely antwer either fide, For industry is fuited ill with pride.
But to divert your cenfure let me fhew A fully more complete, a city beau! What contraft can there be fo ftrong in na-
As English plainness apeing petit maitre! And yet poor I, by miffing fuch a lover, May wait till all my dancing days are over! Next, fhift the fcene-behold a virtuofo ! An old, illiterate, feeble amorofo ! What weakness can the human heart discover More fhameful than a climacteric lover? Men, who have turn'd the period of three- fcore,
Become mere virtuofo's—in amour.
Nor does aunt Bridget merit better quarter, Who, fcorning to abide by female charter, Invades a province, to our fex deny'd, Aiming at knowledge with a pedant's pride; When, after all our boaft, we find, at length, To know our weakness is our fureft ftrength; One path of fcience only, wife men say, Is left for female learning-to obey.-[Curt- fying.]
If characters like thefe your mirth excite, And furnish fome amufement for the night, If nought offend the maxims of the ftage, Or fhock the nicer morals of the age; If only venial errors here you find, Critics be dumb-ye men of candour kind!
On the much lamented Death of bis Royal High- nefs Prince Frederic William.
HERE are thofe tinfel infects of a court,
That to the gilded palaces refort,
To flatter princes in their height of pow'r; But vanish in that dark and folemn hour, When with fhort fighs they draw their par- ting breath,
And fink into the filent arms of death? Is it the want of genius, or that grief, For fuch a lofs admits of no relief, That not one fingle elegiac verse Flows from their filver pen to grace his hearse? Then, let a female mufe attempt to fing His blooming virtues, blafted in their spring,
Whose sprightly converse charm'd the lift'në ing ear,
Remembrance fweet, to facred friendship dear t Mufic and painting round him weeping mourn, And learning drops a tear upon his urn. His beauty made the damafk roses pale, Yet fairer than the lilly of the vale. Why fhou'd Britannia's hope, her sweetest flow'r,
Droop, ficken, die, ere the meridian hour? Before his blushing honours could appear In their full fplendor,-each fucceeding year? No more, ye nymphs, your flow'ry chaplets bring ;
But angels bear him on their facred wing To that immortal throne, where virtue lives For ever bleft, and death itfelt survives. Let reafon ftop the tender mother's figh, The tear that trembles in the royal eye; Reflecting that he left this mortal itage, Unfully'd by the vices of the age,
To meet in realms of blifs (aufpicious fate!) The promis'd glories of a future ftate. Such foothing thoughts may charm the foul to reft,
But never drive his image from my breaft. A MOURNER.
The JAY and KING'S-FISHER.
IRDS have their rank as well as we;
B'And in their plumage mark'd we fee
The wing of high and low degree.
Thus, inftances a few to bring, The Roman beak denotes their king; Whilft, Sweeping with theatric ftate, His train no lefs fhall vindicate The peacock's title to the ermine; At least were females to determine. The breadth of band, and wifdom's ftare, Point out the council at the bar; And Madge, when perch'd upon a beam, We fee in him a judge fupreme! Clergy we have in rooks and crows, Robins are courtiers, Tom-titts, beaus ; The mag-pie to the lawn afpires; Pidgeons are monks and hooded fryars; The fwan, i Cleopatra's pride, Rowing her state, of all befide, That win the ftream or oozy lake, None for their fovereign can mistake- While geefe and ducks attendant on her, Fill up her train, as maids of honour.
This once allow'd fufficient warrant For my allertion, I'll no more on'ı; But will, as fast as I am able, From thefe materials build my fable. A Pheasant hen, of noble worth (Her plumage blazon'd forth her birth) Had in her train of fervile birds, Attendant on her nod and words, A jay, whom ought but true difcernment Had rais'd at once to high preferment ; For the prefided at her toilet,
(Spell me next word, or I fhall fpoil it)
POETICAL ESSAYS in JANUARY, 1766.
Her pett-en-l'air of texture light,
Her negligee, her robe by night,
Her Lcque of neweft Paris air,
These were the jay's peculiar care,
Such terms were never known of yore To bird of any rank before; But now the feather'd quall each day Vary their plumage ev'ry way; Have ruffs like owls and wings like swan Joning all species into one. Yet trufting by fome cross en' pale, Some tingle feather in their tat!, The rank of pheasant be apparent To ev'ry lacquey on an errand.- At worst maintain amongst the croud. Their quall-by cackling very loud.
But not to dwell, like them, on scandal, No more their foibles shall I handle; But fet about my prefent theme, The fly intrigues of madam Prim; And cafe your mind of expectation, Much teazed, I fear, by this digreffion, While I unfold what, to a witness, Nab minded more than lady's bus 'nefs. She found (nor did the want difcern- ment)
The road of females to preferment, The rolling eye, the flutt'ring breaft, Had many a fongfter fpoil'd of reft:
The very placing of a feather
Had link'd hearts more than once toge
And the coquettish turn of bill Wou'd, by the dozen, Robins kill. All thefe the practis'd o'er and o'er, With many other arts in fore; And what her fervile rank deny'd, Her lady's gen'rous heart fupply'd; The down that glow'd upon her breast, When fhed, was her's, by gift poffett, As were the feathers of each kind, Era of her beauteous train behind. The marks of dignity and peerage, Redundant graceful in her fteerage. With thefe, and many more, I wot, Which the with care together. got, The fpoils of parrots and mac'aws, Of peacocks, and fuch like gew-gaws, All deck'd the iffues from her garret, Amphibious fowl for birds to flare at ; But fill her fize and gait betray, Beneath the plumage, madam jay; Tho' fhe imagin'd, (which is pleasan') That all must take her for a pheafant; . Whereas the met mot one by chance But cry'd-a jay!-at the first glance- The fimple bird yet tries her tricks, Some inexperienc'd heart to fix,
The cuckow and the water-wag tail, Play for a time with madam bag-tail, So do the linnet and the thrush; With many more from ev'ry bush: But none the finds importunate To court her love, or call her mate; Her borrow'd wings they all defpife, "There's nothing of the pheafant's eyes!"
And without eyes, what fimple male Wou'd fall enamour'd with a tail?
At laft, a king's-fisher, juft fledg`d, To her, 'tis faid, his fealty pledg'd. Artless himself her childish geftures Soon caught his fancy-and her vestures Were all fo tinfel, and fo spruce- No bird fo fuited for his ufe!
What follows how fhall I relate? Th' arcana of the wedded state, Had better like the bridal bed, Be close within the curtains hid! But figure to yourself a glutton, Who fets afide his beef and mutton, To riot on green-goofe and plover, How does he look when dinner's over! He finds he has been grofsly cheated, And 'ftead of plover, has been treated With fricafee of carrion-owl,
The leaneft and the worst of fowl! Then fhall you have our youth's fad phyz, When waking from his fancy'd blifs, He teafts no more on pheafant plump, But all was carrion-hip and rump! Tantalus like he fneak'd away, Crying-My Juno is a jay.
EPITAPH intended for an Officer who died very young in the Army in Flanders. Imitated from Monfieur Racan.
ERE lieth one, whoin his April mern, Had fo much virtue, fortitude, and truth, That in the vicious age when he was born, His features only testify'd his youth. Whilft all admiring gaz'd at worth fo rare, Death darted by mutake the fatal fting; For feeing fruit fo very ripe and fair, He took for autumn what was but his fpring. C. D.
A RE BU S.
M with what Phœbus does deny;
EN of learning I fupply
Ladies find me apropos, I their drefs and beauty fhew; All my talents fo caress, Volatile I foon grow lefs; Quick'ning me (a fate I dread) Inhumanly they cut my head; Lin gring thus ull I expire, They my fervitude require. Welcome ev'ry birth-day night, I'm the first the court invite; But too free, like filly elf,
1 ferve the world, confume myself.
On the Death of Mr. QUI N. Lufifi fatis, edifti fatis, atque bibifti: Tempus abire tibi.
LAS poor Quin! thy jefts and ftories
A are quite extinguilh'd; and what
There's no Jack Falftaff, no John Dories. Bath, Jan, 21.
violet fprings be fide, As in the fhade the ftrives to fhun the hand of fome rapa
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