him know that it is made out. As for Lord Cumbercourt's stale request, it can keep cold: you understand me. Madam, I ask ten thousand pardons. MRS. CRO. Sir, this honour LOF. And, Dubardieu! if the man comes from the Cornish borough, you must do him; you must do him, I say.—Madam, I ask ten thousand pardons. And if the Russian ambassador calls: but he will scarce call to-day, I believe. And now, madam, I have just got time to express my happiness in having the honour of being permitted to profess myself your most obedient, humble servant. 215 MRS. CRO. Sir, the happiness and honour are all mine; and yet, I'm only robbing the public while I detain you. Lor. Sink the public, madam, when the fair are to be attended. Ah, could all my hours be so charmingly devoted! Sincerely, don't you pity us poor creatures in affairs? Thus it is eternally; solicited for places here, teased for pensions there, and courted everywhere. I know you pity me. Yes, I see you do. MRS. CRO. Excuse me, sir. Toils of empires pleasures are, as Waller says. 225 Lor. Waller, Waller; is he of the house? MRS. CRO. The modern poet of that name, sir. LoF. Oh, a modern! We men of business despise the moderns; and as for the ancients, we have no time to read them. Poetry is a pretty thing enough for our wives and daughters; but not for us. Why now, here I stand that know nothing of books. I say, madam, I know nothing of books; and yet, I believe, upon a land-carriage fishery, a stamp act, or a jag-hire, I can talk my two hours without feeling the want of them. MRS. CRO. The world is no stranger to Mr. Lofty's eminence in every capacity. 235 LOF. I vow to gad, madam, you make me blush. I'm nothing, nothing, nothing in the world; a mere obscure gentleman. To be sure, indeed, one or two of the present ministers are pleased to represent me as a formidable man. I know they are pleased to bespatter me at all their little dirty levees. Yet, upon my soul, I wonder what they see in me to treat me so! Measures, not men, have always been my mark; and I vow, by all that's honourable, my resentment has never done the men, as mere men, any manner of harm—that is, as mere men. 245 MRS. CRO. What importance, and yet what modesty ! LOF. Oh, if you talk of modesty, madam, there, I own, I'm accessible to praise: modesty is my foible: it was so the Duke of Brentford used to say of me. I love Jack Lofty, he used to say: no man has a finer knowledge of things; quite a man of information; and when he speaks upon his legs, by the Lord, he's prodigious, he scouts them; and yet all men have their faults; too much modesty is his, says his grace. MRS. CRO. And yet, I dare say, you don't want assurance when you come to solicit for your friends. 255 LOF. Oh, there indeed I'm in bronze. Apropos, I have just been mentioning Miss Richland's case to a certain personage; we must name no names. When I ask, I am not to be put off, madam. No, no, I take my friend by the button. A fine girl, sir; great justice in her case. A friend of mine. Borough interest. Business must be done, Mr. Secretary. I say, Mr. Secretary, her business must be done, sir. That's my way, madam. MRS. CRO. Bless me! you said all this to the Secretary of State, did you? 265 Well, curse it, since you LOF. I did not say the Secretary, did I? have found me out, I will not deny it. MRS. CRO. This was going to the fountain-head at once, not applying to the understrappers, as Mr. Honeywood would have had us. LOF. Honeywood! he he! He was, indeed, a fine solicitor. I suppose you have heard what has just happened to him? MRS. CRO. Poor dear man! no accident, I hope? Lor. Undone, madam, that's all. His creditors have taken him into custody. A prisoner in his own house. 275 MRS. CRO. A prisoner in his own house! How! At this very time? I'm quite unhappy for him. LOF. Why, so am I! The man, to be sure, was immensely goodnatur'd. But then, I could never find that he had anything in him. MRS. CRO. His manner, to be sure, was excessively harmless; some, indeed, thought it a little dull. For my part, I always concealed my opinion. LOF. It can't be concealed, madam; the man was dull, dull as the last new comedy! a poor impracticable creature! I tried once or twice to know if he was fit for business; but he had scarce talents to be groom-porter to an orange-barrow. 287 MRS. CRO. How differently does Miss Richland think of him! for, I believe, with all his faults, she loves him. LOF. Loves him! Does she? You should cure her of that by all means. Let me see, what if she were sent to him this instant, in his present doleful situation? My life for it, that works her cure! Distress is a perfect antidote to love. Suppose we join her in the next room? Miss Richland is a fine girl, has a fine fortune, and must not be thrown away. Upon my honour, madam, I have a regard for Miss Richland; and, rather than she should be thrown away, I should think it no indignity to marry her myself. [Exeunt. Enter OLIVIA and LEONTINE LEON. And yet, trust me, Olivia, I had every reason to expect Miss Richland's refusal, as I did everything in my power to deserve it. Her indelicacy surprises me. 301 OLIV. Sure, Leontine, there's nothing so indelicate in being sensible of your merit. If so, I fear I shall be the most guilty thing alive. LEON. But you mistake, my dear. The same attention I used to advance my merit with you, I practised to lessen it with her. What more could I do? OLIV. Let us now rather consider what is to be done. We have both dissembled too long—I have always been asham'd—I am now quite weary of it. Sure, I could never have undergone so much for any other but you. 311 LEON. And you shall find my gratitude equal to your kindest compliance. Though our friends should totally forsake us, Olivia, we can draw upon content for the deficiencies of fortune. OLIV. Then why should we defer our scheme of humble happiness, when it is now in our power? I may be the favourite of your father, it is true; but can it ever be thought, that his present kindness to a supposed child will continue to a known deceiver? 319 As his attach LEON. I have many reasons to believe it will. ments are but few, they are lasting. His own marriage was a private one, as ours may be. Besides, I have sounded him already at a distance, and find all his answers exactly to our wish. Nay, by an expression or two that dropped from him, I am induced to think he knows of this affair. OLIV. Indeed! But that would be a happiness too great to be expected. LEON. However it be, I'm certain you have power over him; and am persuaded, if you informed him of our situation, that he would be disposed to pardon it. 330 OLIV. You had equal expectations, Leontine, from your last scheme with Miss Richland, which you find has succeeded most wretchedly. LEON. And that's the best reason for trying another. OLIV. If it must be so, I submit. LEON. As we could wish, he comes this way. Now, my dearest Olivia, be resolute. I'll just retire within hearing, to come in at a proper time, either to share your danger, or confirm your victory. [Exit. Enter CROAKER CRO. Yes, I must forgive her; and yet not too easily, neither. It will be proper to keep up the decorums of resentment a little, if it be only to impress her with an idea of my authority. 342 OLIV. How I tremble to approach him!—Might I presume, sir if I interrupt youCRO. No, child, where I have an affection, it is not a little thing that can interrupt me. Affection gets over little things. OLIV. Sir, you're too kind! I'm sensible how ill I deserve this partiality. Yet, Heaven knows, there is nothing I would not do to gain it. CRO. And you have but too well succeeded, you little hussy, you! With those endearing ways of yours, on my conscience, I could be brought to forgive anything, unless it were a very great offence indeed. 353 OLIV. But mine is such an offence-When you know my guiltYes, you shall know it, though I feel the greatest pain in the confession. CRO. Why, then, if it be so very great a pain, you may spare yourself the trouble; for I know every syllable of the matter before you begin. OLIV. Indeed! then I'm undone. CRO. Ay, miss, you wanted to steal a match, without letting me know it, did you? But I'm not worth being consulted, I suppose, when there's to be a marriage in my own family. No, I'm to have no hand in the disposal of my own children. No, I'm nobody. I'm to be a mere article of family lumber; a piece of cracked china to be stuck up in a corner. 366 OLIV. Dear sir, nothing but the dread of your authority could induce us to conceal it from you. CRO. No, no, my consequence is no more; I'm as little minded as a dead Russian in winter, just stuck up with a pipe in its mouth till there comes a thaw.-It goes to my heart to vex her. OLIV. I was prepared, sir, for your anger, and despaired of pardon, even while I presumed to ask it. But your severity shall never abate my affection, as my punishment is but justice. CRO. And yet you should not despair neither, Livy. We ought to hope all for the best. 376 OLIV. And do you permit me to hope, sir? Can I ever expect to be forgiven? But hope has too long deceived me. CRO. Why then, child, it shan't deceive you now, for I forgive you this very moment. I forgive you all; and now you are indeed my daughter. OLIV. O transport! This kindness overpowers me. We have been young and giddy ourselves, and we can't expect boys and girls to be old before their time. 385 OLIV. What generosity! but can you forget the many falsehoods, the dissimulation CRO. You did indeed dissemble, you urchin, you; but where's the girl that won't dissemble for a husband? My wife and I had never been married, if we had not dissembled a little beforehand. OLIV. It shall be my future care never to put such generosity to a second trial. And as for the partner of my offence and folly, from his native honour, and the just sense he has of his duty, I can answer for him that Enter LEONTINE LEON. Permit him thus to answer for himself [kneeling]. 395 Thus, sir, let me speak my gratitude for this unmerited forgiveness. Yes, sir, this even exceeds all your former tenderness: I now can boast the most indulgent of fathers. The life he gave, compared to this, was but a trifling blessing. CRO. And, good sir, who sent for you, with that fine tragedy face, and flourishing manner? I don't know what we have to do with your gratitude upon this occasion. 407 LEON. How, sir! Is it possible to be silent when so much obliged? Would you refuse me the pleasure of being grateful? Of adding my thanks to my Olivia's? Of sharing in the transports that you have thus occasioned? CRO. Lord, sir, we can be happy enough, without your coming in to make up the party. I don't know what's the matter with the boy all this day; he has got into such a rhodomontade manner all the morning! LEON. But, sir, I that have so large a part in the benefit, is it not my duty to show my joy? is the being admitted to your favour so slight an obligation? is the happiness of marrying my Olivia so small a blessing? CRO. Marrying Olivia! marrying Olivia! marrying his own sister! Sure the boy is out of his senses! His own sister! LEON. My sister! OLIV. Sister! How have I been mistaken! LEON. Some cursed mistake in this, I find. 417 Aside. Aside. CRO. What does the booby mean, or has he any meaning? Eh, what do you mean, you blockhead, you ? LEON. Mean, sir-why, sir-only when my sister is to be married, that I have the pleasure of marrying her, sir; that is, of giving her away, sir-I have made a point of it. CRO. O, is that all? Give her away. 425 You have made a point of it. Then you had as good make a point of first giving away yourself, as I'm going to prepare the writings between you and Miss Richland this very minute. What a fuss is here about nothing! Why, what's the matter now? I thought I had made you at least as happy as you could wish. OLIV. O! yes, sir, very happy. CRO. Do you foresee anything, child? You look as if you did. I think if anything was to be foreseen, I have as sharp a lookout as another: and yet I foresee nothing. [Exit. |
