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to any high degree of excellence there; but pinks devoutly thank God for a good mother. My castles we had in abundance, and roses too--fine cabbage- were never rudely demolished by her gentle hand, roses, which, let rose lovers say what they may, nor were my confused notions of things ever worse have a sweeter scent than all the delicate flowers confounded by ridicule or sharp reproof. Sympa. of that lovely surname bearing the fanciful, new- thy, ever-flowing sympathy, was the secret of our fangled appendages of the present day. Jessamine household peace, and while every thought was and sweet-williams, stocks, clove-carnations, and poured out into the treasury of my mother's love, wall-flowers, flourished there also. Our garden, the defective ones were calmly taken up and contoo, was a piece of family pride, for garden and sidered in their true light, and by degrees aban. house both had belonged to our grandfather, ay, doned as useless. and to his father before him.
So time passed on. My father was, as I have There were six of us in family; I had two said, an old man. The early part of his life had brothers older than myself, and two sisters and a been spent in pursuits of a purely literary and brother younger. As an elder girl, I believe that classical character. He had lived for well nigh not more of exertion or self-denial fell to my lot forty years in a sort of monastic retirement, just than is usually the share of elder daughters; and getting his living at a desk, and devoting every our house was so perfectly peaceful, so intensely spare hour to his darling studies, without any amyet so calmly happy, that the labour which we had bition for great things in this world; but at last each to perform was truly and emphatically a he astonished all the neighbourhood of G-by labour of love, knowing neither weariness nor going into business as an estate agent; and yet cessation.
more astonished were they, when he took to him. Perhaps we have each of us had at some time of self the young orphan daughter of the clergyman our life, and in the inner temple of our hearts, an of the parish,
who was left alone in the world, and idol. I had mine once upon earth, and now in in the old house of which we have spoken. heaven. I am not quite sure but that she some- My dear father certainly made a great mistake times comes before me and the Holy One, when when he went into business; his heart was never I think of her in one of the “many mansions." in it, and yet, like many clever men, he had now My idol was my mother. Oh, how I loved that and then a grand scheme which was to be the mother! Her memory mingles with soft cradle making of him and his family, and was to turn his hymns, silvery tones, gentle touches, fond heart wife's little capital for he had none of his ownwarm embraces, holy, earnest prayers, and self- into a splendid fortune for her and his daughters. denying actions. But I must refrain. If I were I was too young to know much about the matter, about to write my mother's history, I might fill but I am very sure of this, that no large fortune pages; but she was my mother, and I may be was made, and the small one became year by year partial. Delicate and fragile she always was; but sensibly less. I often recall now the resolution and I never remember her in my childish days to have calm self-possession of my excellent mother at this been quite laid aside. I can now see her gliding time, and the lessons of preparation which she down the old oak staircase; or, in her neat muslin gave us for that which she knew must come. There dress, floating along the gloomy passages, almost had always been much pains taken with our eduas noiselessly as an angel might have passed along; cation. My father devoted whole evenings to our or leading some little one in the grassy garden, instruction in Latin, and even in Greek. My telling pleasant stories of birds and bees. She mother, whose own mother was a German, spoke never told sad stories; they were ever as full of and understood that language perfectly, and of hope and joy and purity as she was herself. I love French and music, which were among her accomto think of all this: I love to picture her thus, or, plishments, she had no superficial knowledge. For better still, to see her with my grey-haired father, a home education, ours was certainly superior, many years her senior, her arm fondly round his and year by year our advancement became more neck, with a beautiful mixture of the wife and seriously the object of my mother's exertions. We the daughter, and the most exquisite tenderness read much, partly to please our father, and partly united to the deepest veneration. She had bright, from the early-acquired love of knowledge. sunny, curling hair in those days, and as it floated My sister Mary was very like her mother in on his shoulders, I remember feeling how exultant tastes and in quality of mind. Agnes had from he must have been that my mother was really his childhood been the object of solicitude, from ill wife.
health, and no one ever thought of her but as one Such was my home in early life. Neither relics to be petted and nursed. My elder brothers were nor luxuries were there, but simply that which our excellent, steady, every-day lads, and Edward, the dear old English tongue so aptly calls by the un- last of the flock, was but a lovely child of three translateable word comfort, and peace, I said years old when I had attained my sixteenth year. we were not rich. From very early childhood this It was at this time that my father began to droop. was impressed upon us, and I think we had all a Heavier and heavier rested the hand on my dim perception of the fact that, at some distant mother's arm as they paced the grassy garden ; period of time, we might be obliged to earn our slowly and more slowly did his footsteps sound on own living
the pavement as he returned to dinner. Earlier I had a great deal of the castle-builder's nature and yet earlier was his hour for retiring; shorter in me, for I was an imaginative, sensitive, and and yet shorter the laboured breathing; and yet delicate child, and very often my mother had to we were not alarmed. I say we; our mother saw call me down from the heights of my airy fabrics it all, and night and day, as she has told me, to the forgotten stocking or wristband in my hand. she prayed for strength against that coming storm I was a dreaming child; and here again would I which she saw gathering in the horizon.
It came at last, but not as a storm. One glori- petent to teach and speak the French language ous summer's evening in August, just as the sun with a Parisian accent. Some knowledge of Gerhad lit up the standing corn, till it shone like gold man and Italian indispensable.--N.B. A young in its rays, my father quietly sank to sleep upon person of lady-like manners and agreeable disposi
He had gone to bed at his usual hour, tion would find this a desirable home." and, according to his custom, had laid his head on his faithful wife's shoulder, to gain relief from the Once more I started by an early train, and once oppression on his breathing, while she sang him to more prepared to present myself for approbation. sleep, as she would have sung a child. Her hymn This time my journey ended at Nthat night was checked by a change in the breath- glad I was, with my country habits and tastes, ing; she laid down the grey head upon the pillow, to be spared the necessity of entering the dreary and, in a moment, it was all ended. That night city again. our gentle mother was a widow, and we were I had some distance to walk before I arrived at fatherless!
the house which was specified on my address. It It was no surprise to us, when the will was was at a chemist's shop at the extreme end of read, to hear that we were poor orphans. We had N-, and when I had accomplished the weary long been prepared for this. Happily, my eldest walk, in a dusty windy day in March, I found that brother had so far a turn for practical matters I must retrace my steps, and walk almost to the that the business, which his father left him as an very point whence I had set out, to arrive at the inheritance, was more likely to prosper with him gentleman's house of the “utmost respectability.” than with his predecessor. Horace, the second, It certainly was encouraging in its outward aspect had for some time held a situation with our family -a pleasantly-situated, elegantly-built, moderatesurgeon. My mother should stay in the old house sized villa, with large garden and shrubbery, and - that was settled. Agnes and little Edward everything externally to justify the promise of the should remain there too, and Mary and I must go advertisement. The door was opened by a little forth into the world. But Mary was too young page, who took my note civilly enough; but on for a governess; and the principal ladies' school in hearing certain words, which I plainly caught Gat this very time advertising for an articled through the open door, he somewhat altered his pupil, our dear Mary was "articled," as it is called; conduct on his return :-"Oh, don't go yet, Mrs. and it was only Emilie, the writer of these pages, Turner; it is only a young person come after my who remained unprovided for.
governess's situation. Show her into the breakWe pored over the columns of the “Times" fast room, Rollins." henceforth ; we dived into every advertising corner I was trying to digest that disagreeable word of the journals; we enlisted every friend in our "only,” so offensive to one's natural, albeit wrong, service; and if one day our hopes were high, at pride, when Mrs. Serle entered. She was a fashionanother they sank again, as, one after another, able, rather plain, lady-like woman, and so far our applications were treated with favour or the from putting me at my ease in her presence, she reverse. Iwo journeys I took to London, only to scanned me with the keen curiosity and sharpreturn disappointed and depressed. Of one of the sightedness of a woman thoroughly "up to this situations I had felt so confident, that when I came business," until I was every moment growing back late in the evening, and reported my non-suc- more and more uncomfortable and distressed. cess, I wept long and bitterly. My mother, mother- “I ventured to reply personally to your adverlike, tried to cheer and console me.
tisement," I said, timidly;"1" " It is always thus, dear. Emilie,” she said. “Ah, yes, but you look so very young. Have “In our first efforts for independence we are you ever been out before ?" usnally made to feel our dependence. Conne, come,
“Never." I have the ‘Times' to-night. Let us look once "Have you lost a relative lately?"
My lips tried to say, “My father.” Her eye My heart sickened at the thought of any never moved from my face, although tears, which * Times'' advertisements now; but we looked care- I could not keep back, coursed down my cheeks. fully down the columns.
Very young: and what can you teach ?” Wanted, chamber-maids, house-maids, cooks, I said I had considered the requirements of her ladies'-maids, but how few governesses to-day," said advertisement, and believed I was competent to I. “Horace has the Morning Herald, con- undertake the situation. I had not learned French tinued I; "now, Horace, look out for something at Paris, but I trusted that as my mother was of for me, there's a dear brother.” And Horace, a German family, and I could speak that language eagerly glancing his eye down the columns, saw fluently, it might be considered equivalent. She an advertisement headed, “Wanted, a Governess !” thought otherwise, depreciated the use of German, and immediately read as follows:
and spoke of French as the language of the
world.” I could only sit and blush, and feel very “Wanted, in a private family of the utmost uncomfortable. However, she passed by this defect, respectability, a young lady, fully competent to and said she should be willing to try me, if my impart instruction to three little girls and a boy, references were satisfactory. varying from the ages of four to eleven. She “ You will be obliged," she continued, " to be in must be a perfect mistress of the usual branches the school-room at seven, and to attend to lessons of an English education, including geography, the until eight. Of course, you will not object to use of the globes, arithmetic, history, and composi- assisting your three little pupils to dress. From tion. None need apply who are not proficient in nine to twelve you will be in the school-room singing and piano-forte playing, and fully com-l again. You will then walk, if the weather per.
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mits, until two. You will dine with the children "Going from home P"--and by this time she had at our luncheon, at that hour ; and at three you moved her place, and sate close to me :-" for the will have lessons again until five. Our dinner first time is it P” hour is six ; the children join us at dessert, and, as A sob was my only reply. your manners appear good, I think I shall feel no “Ah, it is a bitter trial, my dear. I remember difficulty in your accompanying them into the my own feelings at first leaving home.” dining-room. They will also take tea with us, and “Do you ?" and I felt that we were no longer you will preside both at tea and breakfast time. strangers. They retire at eight, and you will have plenty of "Are you-I hope I don't seem inquisitive-are time then to do a little plain sewing, which my you going to a situation ?" governesses are always accustomed to do for me. “Yes, and it is my first.” I must tell you that I never allow the children to "Poor child! but"-and she spoke cheerily, be left. They must be your sole charge." "much, very much depends on yourself, whether I sighed; it was involuntary.
you are happy there or not. I do not ask what "Shall I have any time at my own disposal, kind of people your employers are. That matters Mrs. Serle ?" I said, timidly.
little if you take a right heart with you to them. " What do you mean ?" she replied.
It is very difficult, I acknowledge; one is so apt to “I mean that I should like a little time in the feel pride sometimes, and as though we lost caste, day, that I could call my own. I shall like to in entering for the first time on a life of dependread, and improve myself sometimes. I am very ence; but this is wrong.". young, and if I am always imparting knowledge, "I know it, but it is natural.” do you not think I ought to take something in P” "Don't you think, my dear, that He who counts
“I have nothing to do with that; your educa- the hairs of your head, and who placed you in cirtion is presumed to be finished, or why offer your cumstances where dependence (if you will have it self for my situation. You have but to rise an so) is necessary, can comfort you and guide you in hour earlier if you are studiously inclined.”. that life."
I was silent, and at length said: “My salary.” “ Yes."
“Your salary!-Yes, I think I should not object Yes; but you still hang back. Now I have to giving you twenty pounds, although it is a large been a governess for thirty years of my life, and I sum for so young a teacher. I don't know what Mr. will give you one
or two hints which you may find Serle will say; but I dare say he will comply. I shall useful; may IP They have been the result of some hope to see you on Monday," and here, as though dear-bought experience. First-never mind how in great baste to complete the bargain, she rose, natural it is to feel otherwise-take this thought leaving me in too much perplexity and astonish. to your new home I am not lowering myself; ment to say anything more than “ Very well;" I am in all respects the same as I was in my and the bell being rung, I left the room and the parents' house, simply compelled, under God's prohouse, feeling, as I looked back to it, as though vidence, to turn the talents and education which my home it could never be.
he gave me into a means of support.' This thought Weary and dispirited I returned home. I had will be elevating; it will preserve your self-respect; not tasted food since my breakfast, for it did not ap- it will give you a feeling of independence. Then pear to have entered into my elect-employer's calcu. again, do not expect too much consideration and tations, that a poor girl from G, come for the respect from those with whom you live. It is well governess's situation, could be either faint or tired; to look at the case as it is not as it should be. but that might be mere forgetfulness, and we will If you and I and human nature were better, not be censorious. The tea was very sweet at governesses' situations would be happier ; but here home, I remember, and the welcome and the love is a plain truth. You are engaged to do a certain sweeter still. My mother talked hopefully of my work—to teach. Now, depend upon it, there is twenty pounds soon swelling to forty; and we too much selfishness abroad, for any reasonable went to bed, if not gay, at least cheerful and con- expectations that a lady, who engages you for tent.
this work should consider herself bound to There were but two days for my simple prepara- give you more than your stipulated remunerations ; they were finished on the Saturday. The tion, and a fair amount of kind and civil treatSunday was my last at home. The bells, as they mentrang for service, seemed dirge-like, and my heart I interrupted her : “ Not a person to whom they was very heavy as I knelt with the mourning commit their children? Surely, surely they are family in the old pew for the last time.
entitled to more than common confidence and kindI cannot describe the parting. I was leaving ness !" home, and the knowledge of this truth was suffi- My new friend shook her head. cient to excuse the many, many tears which fell as “I am looking at the matter, my dear, as it is, I sat in the corner of the railway carriage. There not as you and I may think it ought to be. Keep was no one there but an elderly lady, who appeared in mind then this one thought I will never take so engrossed with a book, that I thought I might a slight where it is not intended; I will not expect weep unnoticed; but presently, when my grief was or require home-love and tenderness under a lulled a little, I saw that she was observing me, stranger's roof; and I will settle this point that, not curiously, but kindly, from a remote corner after all, my object in life is to be duty, not comopposite. Soon she spoke. Oh! blessings on those fort ; and that my duty, and pleasure too, should voices which are tuned to gentleness and love! I consist in devotion to the dear little ones.' knew at that very moment that the strange lady “ Hard work !" had not a cold heart.
"Hard ! yes; but not impossible ; for I hope
you know something of a strength beyond your The nurse, who was there with the two younger
children, making a sort of temporary nursery of I was sorry to see my companion now prepare to the school-room, for the sake of preserving order, arrange her bag, and to seek for her railway ticket, eyed me askance on my entrance. I had always as though she were soon to leave me. She got been taught to treat our domestics with courtesy down at Croydon. I envied her the welcome which and respect in my childhood's home--let no one awaited her on the platform, from a bright, beauti- smile at the word respect-and it had never enful girl of sixteen, who greeted her with a loving tered into my heart to conceive that I could be an kiss. I wondered, as one is apt to wonder about object of suspicion or dislike to them; but I was our railway companions, in what relation that mistaken. pretty girl stood to my plain elderly acquaintance ; I began to notice the baby, but I soon found but the train moved on, and I did not find that out that would not do at all. Nurse appeared to think until some time afterwards.
it a great liberty when I asked if I might take it It was with a beating heart, yet, if I can recol. for a few minutes. Little Jessie, a pretty, baby, lect aright, with an earnest_resolve to be true and like little thing of two years old, appeared inclined faithful to my charge, that I awaited my introduc- to be sociable, which nurse observing, remarked : tion to my new pupils. They came into the break“Come, dear, we shall not be wanted here now;" fast-room in answer to a summons from their and, taking Jessie's hand, stalked ont, leaving me mamma, looking exactly as I felt, very awkward. with my new pupils in the school-room, which, with Three vice-looking girls they were ; but they gave but short leaves of absence, was to be my prison me the impression, soon confirmed by facts, of henceforth. children who needed sympathy. You may soon The day passed wearily enough. I was too late read that want in a young face. You may read it for the dinner hour of the family; it had not ocin the thoughtful, earnest, reserved child's, and in curred to any one that I could be hungry; and that of the open, frolicksome, merry one. You when I went down to dessert with the children, I may read it in the loving, tender, heart-full face, and was so honestly hungry that I was glad to accept a in the neglected, ill-appreciated, unamiable counte- glass of wine and a biscuit, although I saw that my
Much has been written and sung of taking the wine was neither expected nor desired. mother's love; but, alas ! that love, like the dia- There was company in the house-a lady and mond, is seldom found in purity. The mere in- two daughters; and I think Mrs. Serle did make stinct of motherhood is far below that beautiful, some pretence at introducing me; but “our goalmost holy affection, which forgets and renounces verness" were the only words that reached my self in devotion to the child. Oh, mothers ! if you ears, and possibly those of the ladies, for they gave would not walk through life's evening hours un- me something between a nod and a stare by way cheered by your children's affection, dedicate to of recognition, which said as plainly as possible, them the flower of your age. Be much with them, “Keep your place.” Mr. Serle spoke kindly to pray much for them, and in your first joy of ma- me, but he was pompous to every one, and that ternity-common, remember, to you and to the he should have been otherwise to his children's brute creation-look ever onward and upward, and governess was most unlikely. think of the embryo soul in the baby form you clasp. Mrs. Serle only noticed me as she would have
"Show Miss Maitland the school-room, Lizzy," noticed any menial of whom she required an act said Mrs. Serle to the eldest of the children, who of service. “Miss Maitland, be so kind as to peel looked at me with a more suspicious and scruti- | that pear for Lizzy.” “Miss Maitland, pray look nizing glance than her sisters.
at Allan.” Allan was piling wine-glasses into a “ You will have a holiday to-day, and you must Chinese pagoda. “Miss Maitland, that plate of show your governess the garden; and be very Emmeline's is too near the edge of the table." good children, and mind all she says to you." Not a word of any kind, however, which would re
I rose, and was rather surprised that not one of cognise my capability of enjoying social intercourse, the children would take my offered hand. Lizzy or common conversation, was addressed to me decidedly hung back, the others put each a finger during that long meal ; and yet I was at their in its mouth, and I stood looking, I have no doubt, table. Oh, when the day was ended--when my almost as silly as the children, when the door labours in the dressing and hair.curling of my burst open, and a fine light-haired boy of eight pupils were at an end-how did my heart ache entered. He sprang to his mother's arms, and and my whole soul sicken for my mother's love ! said, with the freedom of a spoiled child: “Mamma, Yet how earnest was my prayer, in the loneliness that tiresome nurse has turned me out of the of my new grief, that I might not fail no, not for nursery, because I woke baby."
a moment. “Hush, Allan, Allan ! speak nicely to Miss The morning dawn was, for the first time, unMaitland,” his mother replied.
welcome. I was sleeping, as youth rarely fails to "Oh, are you the governess ?” he said, in a little sleep, even under the pressure of sorrow, soundly patronising way of his own. “I'm glad you are and even tranquilly, when I was roused by a quick come. Now that nasty nurse has nothing to do rap at the door. It was the housemaid's summons with me."
to warn me that it was half-past six. My own I cannot say that I felt equally pleased at the toilette was soon completed; and, anxious to perprospect of guardianship of a little rebel such as form my duties, I hastened to the bed-room openMaster Allan appeared ; but, as he offered me his ing out of my own, where my three little pupils hand, I proceeded at once to the school-room with slept. Every one who knows anything about chil. my four pupils, and tried to make myself as agree- dren, knows how contrary oft-times are their able to them as I could.
humours at rising and at going to rest.
I did not effect their dressing until half-past work. Our last governess used to do such things, seven, and then how little time remained for les. but the children got sadly neglected." sons! We had just stationed ourselves round the “ Is it in any hurry? I asked. table, and I was beginning to gain a little insight “I was to tell you, Miss, that my mistress and into the extent of their knowledge (so far as books Mrs. East are going out to luncheon at two, and were concerned), when a loud cry startled me. this cap will be wanted then, as the milliner has
That is Allan," said Lizzy, the eldest girl, disappointed the lady." pertly, I thought." Go, Miss Maitland, and dress "But I do not think I can make a cap, Jane; I him.'
never tried.” I looked at the little speaker.
“Dear me, our governesses always do those kind “I will ring for the nurse," I said; “Or will of jobs; what a pity! Shall I tell Missus ? " you, dear, go and tell her ?"
"No," I replied; " leave the material; I will "Oh dear, no; Miss Fellowes, our last governess, see.”. always dressed Allan. Nurse can't manage him "Now, Lizzy, go on reading;" but Lizzy was at all.”
absorbed in her contemplation of the lace and the The screams were now so loud that the bell of pretty peach-coloured ribbon, and I had to assume Mrs. Serle's chamber, ringing as loudly as bell a tone of authority, not quite natural to me, before could ring, was drowned in the clamour. I was a she would proceed. little irritated by a hasty summons from nurse to The morning came to an end, but not, however, go and dress Master Allan.
without a feeling of fatigue of which I had never “I did not know," I said, " that it was expected before been conscious. The lessons prescribed in of me, but I will do it to-day ;” and rising, very Mrs. Serle's very extensive plan, were not above cool externally, but very warm within, I went to half accomplished, mainly because the children the child, who sat on the side of his little bed cry; were ignorant of the first principles of most of the ing lastily, and who, at my approach, declared I subjects laid down therein. I had nearly finished should not touch him, because I had been so long a cap creditably, although I ought not to say it, in coming. I had soothed an irritable child many when Mrs. Serle entered. She was extremely a time before ; but this was an unusually trying pleased with my performance, and I heard her say
The noise from the school-room, from the to her visitor that “I bade fair to be a very useful little ones left to themselves, was intolerable. person.” I was so glad to please, that I did not Allan was all but unmanageable, and I lost heart take into account the drudgery before me, and I and patience, plying myself up with the resolution went about my other duties with a lighter heart. that I would not do all this nurse-maid's work; I At one o'clock I was a little surprised to receive cannot be both nurse and governess, and so I will a summons to the nursery. I was “ expected," I tell Mrs. Serle. And so, before I left the breakfast-found, to take the baby and the next little girl into room that morning-where it was my duty to make the garden, when the others walked, during the tea and coffee for the family and assembled com- nurse's meal. Now, I loved little babies, and should pany, and be content with its smell myself, or with not have felt it hard work, but I found it impos. such occasional sips as were permitted me-Isible to watch thoroughly over my four pupils and asked permission, perhaps rather mal-à-propos, to these two little ones for the space of a whole hour. speak to Mrs. Serle. She looked as much aston- On our way to the shrubbery, I passed the ished as Majesty might be expected to have looked kitchen window. I envied—and who can blame at a sudden request for an audience from a com. me the social, cheerful intercourse of the domesmoner; and not so graciously as a queen might tic servants. How they seemed to have laid all have spoken, she answered her governess : “I am care aside, and to be refreshing themselves in this engaged now; I shall come into the school-room hour of rest by pleasant, lively chat. in the course of the day. Go now with the young I was very tired and very low when nurse came ladies."
and took the baby. She, rudely so, as it seemed I went, but the tone and
the manner roused all to me, complained of my having allowed it to get the old pride, and I felt I cannot, cannot stand dirty, and was sorry to see how I had let Miss this.
Dora run on the grass. I received her remark Qur lessons began. I found the children, for with as dignified a silence as I could, and again many months to come, would have little occasion made up my mind to speak to Mrs. Serle on the for the Parisian accent, or for the very elements of matter. the language of my almost father-land, so utterly The luncheon hour came at last, and I accomignorant were they of all but the very elements of panied my three pupils to the dining-room. The their own tongue. I was hearing Lizzy read in Misses East and Mr. Serle did not give the least Markham's English History, with about as much acknowledgment of my presence, and my meal fluency as a Chinese might be expected to read our passed in silence on my part. The children and language, when the parlour-maid came in with a the visitors were allowed to talk, but it was not ex. basket containing sundry trimmings and lace, with pected of the governess; and I never ate a more a request froin Mrs. Serle that I would make Mrs. dismal meal. East a morning cap like the pattern. I looked, I
[TO BE CONTINUED.] have no doubt as I felt, astonished. The children, scarcely settled to their employment, were at once
ATTENTIOX TO YOUR OWN BUSINESS,-A man who had unsettled again, and I could not in my perplexity become rich by his own exertions, was asked by a friend tell what answer to send down. The servant, a be, "about one-half my property by attending strictly to pleasant, good-humoured girl, said: "I know very my own business, and the other half by letting other well what you are thinking of, Miss. It hard people's alone.