Mrs. Bubb was gay and free, fat, fair and forty-three, Mrs. Bubb said to her lord, "You can well, Bubb, afford Whate'er a Common Councilman in prudence may; We've no brats to plague our lives, and the soap concern it thrives, So we'll have a trip to Brighton in the one-horse chay. "We'll view the pier and shipping, and enjoy many a dipping, And walk for appetite in our best array; I longs more nor I can utter for shrimps and bread and butter, 66 And an airing on the Steyne in the one-horse chay. We've a right to spare for nought that for money can be bought, So to get matters ready, Bubb, do you trudge away; To my dear Lord Mayor I'll walk, just to get a bit of talk, And an imitation shawl for the one-horse chay." Mr. Bubb said to his wife, "Now I think, upon my life, Now Nobbs, it must be told, was rather fat and old, His colour it was white, it had been grey; He was round as a pot, and when soundly whipt would trot Full four miles an hour in a one-horse chay. When at Brighton they were housed, and had stuft and caroused O'er a bowl of rack punch, Mr. Bubb did say, "I've ascertained, my dear, the mode of dipping here, From the ostler, who is cleaning up my one-horse chay. "You're shut up in a box, ill convenient as the stocks, And eighteen-pence a-time are obliged for to pay; Court corruption here, says I, makes every thing so high, And I wish I had come without my one-horse chay." "As I hope," says she, "to thrive, 'tis flaying folks alive, The king and them extortioners are leagued, I say: 'Tis encouraging of such to go and pay so much, So we'll set them at defiance with our one-horse chay. "Old Nobbs, I am sartin, may be trusted gig or cart in, He takes every matter in an easy way; He'll stand like a post, while we dabble on the coast, And return back to dress in our one-horse chay." So out they drove, all drest so gaily in their best, They uncased at their leisure, paddled out to take their pleasure, And left every thing behind in the one-horse chay. But while so snugly sure that all things were secure, They flounced about like porpoises or whales at play, Some young unlucky imps, who prowl'd about for shrimps, Stole up to reconnoitre the one-horse chay. Old Nobbs, in quiet mood, was sleeping as he stood When our pair were soused enough, and returned in their buff, Oh, there was the vengeance and no end to pay! Madam and Mr. Bubb, they shrieked for consternation, To find the empty state of the one-horse chay. "If I live," says she, "I swear, I'll consult my dear Lord Mayor, And a fine on this vagabond town he shall lay; But the gallows thieves, so tricky, hasn't left me e'en a dicky, And I shall catch my death in the one-horse chay." "Come bundle in with me, we must squeeze for it," says he, "And manage this here business the best we may; We've no other step to choose; not a moment must we lose, Or the tide will float us off in our one-horse chay." So noses, sides, and knees, all together they did squeeze From beneath the little apron of the one-horse chay. The Steyne was in a throng, as they jogg'd it along, Madam had'nt been so put to it for many a day: Her pleasure it was damp'd, and her person somewhat cramp'd, Doubled up beneath the apron of the one-horse chay. Oh, would that I were laid," Mr. Bubb in sorrow said, 'In a broad wheel'd waggon, well cover'd with hay! I'm sick of sporting smart, and would take a tilted cart, In exchange for this bauble of a one-horse chay." "I'd give half my riches for my worst pair of breeches, Or the apron that I wore last boiling day; They would wrap my arms and shoulders, from these impudent beholders, And allow me to whip on in my one-horse chay." Mr. Bubb ge-upp'd in vain, and strove to jirk the rein, Nobbs felt he had his option to work or play; So he wouldn't mend his pace, though they'd fain have run a race, To escape the merry gazers at the one-horse chay. Now, good people, laugh your fill, and fancy if you will, (For I've done for to-night, and have said my say,) The trouble and the rout to wrap and get them out, When they drove to their lodgings in their one-horse chay. The day was very warm, so they took no cold or harm, And o'er a smoking lunch soon forgot their dismay, But fearing Brighton mobs, started off at night with Nobbs, To a snugger watering-place, in the one-horse chay. THE ARMADA. ATTEND, all ye who list to hear our noble England's praise; I tell of the thrice famous deeds she wrought in ancient days, When that great fleet invincible against her bore in vain The richest spoils of Mexico, the stoutest hearts of Spain. K |