heart grew more insensible; I was weary of this necessary work, and felt a sudden drowsiness seize me; and hoping that it might a little refresh my feeble spirits, and invigorate animal nature, after having the night before slept but indifferently, I indulged it for a few minutes. After this I spent an hour with much more spirit in confession, reading psalms and hymns subservient to the service, and in recollecting the mercies of my journey, my interview with Lady Huntingdon, and deliverance from fire. In these duties I found sweet minglings of gratitude and humiliation; and then till near one, I was employed in renewing the dedication of my soul to God, and my solemn covenant with him through the blood of his son, and rejoicing in it, and desiring to impress my soul with the recollection that it was in virtue of the efficacy of Christ's blood that this blessed privilege was allowed me. Till almost two was employed in prayer for the interests of religion in the world, the propagation of the gospel, and a blessing on our own land. I lamented the sins of the public with some affection, and prayed with some zeal for the revival of religion, and the averting deserved judgments. But when I came to pray for the church committed to my own care, I was strangely confounded. The debates that happened at the last church meeting ruffled my spirits and dissipated my thoughts; and my devotion was much interrupted by a reverie of thought concerning past facts and future probabilities, though certainly the present difficulties should have awakened devotion rather than thus have disturbed it. Yet the succeeding half hour was more comfortably spent in intreating God for the church and for my pupils and going into the meeting, my heart was enlarged, that the place might be filled with the presence and blessing of God. Till past three I prayed for the children, and recommended cases of particular friends to God. I then surveyed the schemes of usefulness which I

had formerly planned, and selected some for more immediate execution, preparing in part some of those catalogues which may direct me in future applications; and then praying them over, I concluded with thanks to God, and intreaties for his blessing upon me. I ended a few minutes before four; and though this day was very unlike the 4th of June, I bless God that it has been observed, as I hope it may promote further humiliation, which the enlargement of that day in one view may do as I have, alas! so soon forgotten that God, who then so remarkably manifested himself to me, and made me so happy.

Written at the Vestry, Sept. 1, 1750.

These retirements certainly increase my engagement to holy diligence in my ministerial duties, and in walking with God, in the care of my pupils, and people, and children, and servants. Added to all this, there was one twenty minutes which was beyond all comparison the sweetest of all, and equal to any thing in the happy day referred to above, that God drew and I followed after; nor were my cries for his holy Spirit in vain.

MEMORANDUMS OF THE SACRAMENT, SEPT. 2, 1750.

66

HAVING preached with great pleasure and enlargement from those words of Paul, If I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labours," I spoke at the table of the Lord from those words, "Ye are not your own, ye are bought with a price," &c. Were I addressing myself to heathens, I might say, ye are not your own; not to act as if you were subject to no account; you are not self-existent, selfsufficient beings, and therefore you must expect to account for your Creator's benefits. But how much more as Christians, and in the view of the Lord's table? Ye are bought with a price. What price? If I were to ask, not only the least instructed communicant, but a child, he would tell

me, with the blood of Christ. But who considers it? What does it mean, that Christ has by his blood delivered and saved us? We were ruined. Pity entered his heart. He was desirous to deliver, to secure pardon and peace, to take us under his protection, and to conduct us to glory. But here was an aweful condescension, and not as I suppose unnecessary: it could only be accomplished by death. Well, even at this rate, oh, astonishing grace! he condescended so he bought us, and so we became his property; and therefore not our own-and we are to glorify God. For he redeemed us to God by his blood. He has no separate interest and property from the Father. All mine are thine, and thine are mine. We are now required to glorify God in body and soul, for Christ has redeemed both; redeemed our soul, yea, and our body, although the meanest part of our nature. He leaves it, indeed, to pass by death into a deplorable state, as abominable to the senses as the body of a dead brute; but he will deliver it at the last day. We must therefore give him body and soul. The body without the soul in outward acts of religion were abominable hypocrisy. The soul without the body is impossible, while the soul dwells in the body. The actions of the body will in the main follow the dictates of the soul; it is not, therefore, a sanctified soul that dwells in a body, whose members are used to profane, intemperate purposes. Both are the

Lord's. Is it not reasonable? Does Christ demand too much? Is it only a part of us that he ought to have? No. Lord, were the faculties of our souls a thousand times nobler, and the members of our bodies a thousand times stronger, yea, were we to live a thousand years, all were too little to give to thee. We are ashamed, but they are such as we have; and we trust that thou wilt at length make them nobler and better, and in token of this we now come to thee.

MEMORANDUMS RELATING TO A SEASON OF SOLEMN PRAYER, OCT. 5, 1750.

WITH great relish did I think of this day before its approach. I was, indeed, hindered in my secret preparation for it last night and this morning by Mr. Lucas's and Mr. Proctor's visit, which made it a matter of duty to take the season for a conversation with both, on matters which I knew not how to postpone. But I spent more than an hour and a half in prayer with, and preaching to my family from Psalm cxix. 9. "Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way," &c. Through unavoidable hinderances, I could not get to my asylum, the vestry, till a quarter before eleven. I then began with general actions of devotion, by imploring Divine assistance, and reviewing the memorandums of the last month; in which, indeed, I found much cause for thanksgiving, mingled with humiliation, especially for the presence of God in secret, and family prayer in a morning, and assistance in my public labours, which, through grace, have this month been animated and pleasant. But I had reason to be humbled, that I had been very careless in the evening, and that, through so many interruptions, I had dispatched much less business in my study than I could wish to have done. There has also been too great a neglect as to the private care of my congregation; for which I humbled myself before God, while I acknowledged his mercy. I then cheerfully renewed the dedication of myself to God, rejoiced greatly in him, and earnestly begged larger degrees of sanctifying grace. I found particular reason to bless God for the increase of my Academy this month, by the accession of several charming and promising pupils, particularly Rolleston, Scholfield, Holland, Robins, my son, and Smith, with the prospect of some others. For the prospect of success in the youth's scheme; for pointing out Mr. Lucas, when

I was disappointed in Mr. Rose as a tutor. I solemnly referred to God the youth's scheme, the Academy, and Family Expositor, the subscription to which is soon to be opened. On all these accounts, I felt a cheerful joy in God; but above all in the views of heaven, and in the hope of appearing with acceptance and a blessing in the presence of my great Judge at last. These meditations and prayers, intermingled, employed me till twenty minutes past one, and left me but one hour more for intercessions, for public and for particular cases, social or personal. With great fervency of spirit did I spend a whole hour in this delight ful exercise, pouring out my soul before God, for the World and the Church; losing what was particular in what was general, upon truly Christian and Catholic principles, as God is witness. Yet I was enabled to cry earnestly for God's blessing on my labours, and the church under my care, and on every friend named in my list, whose particular circumstances I spread before God. And now my time was ended; and I saw it with regret. I left the feast with an appetite, and my soul said, it is good to be here. Blessed be the Lord God of Israel from henceforth, even for ever.

Amen.

Vestry, Oct. 6, 1750.

HINTS OF MEDITATIONS AT THE SACRAMENT,

OCTOBER 7, 1750.

I INTRODUCEDthe ordinance with a meditation on Jer. 1. 20. "The iniquity of Israel shall be sought for, and there shall be none: and the sins of Judah, and they shall not be found; for I will pardon them whom I reserve.” A promise relating to the readmission of the Israelites into the charter, therefore common to Christians. God will pardon them more fully. It implies, if sin were sought for, there shall be no trace found. This may refer to the mark of the curse upon them, when the blood of Christ lay on them and their