I have it further to add, that whereas I did at the beginning of the last year make a solemn surrender of a tenth of my ordinary, and an eighth of my extraordinary income to the service of God, I find upon a review that upwards of twenty guineas have been this way employed; whereas the income of my people and estate, presents included, has not been above a hundred and fifty pounds more than by pupils, of which more than one-tenth has been given in the education of four of my pupils, Walker, B. Strange, Mercer, and White. So that I judge myself to have acquitted all due on that engagement, in which God has so blessed me, that I hereby renew it for the ensuing year. This account was taken, and it was the last written article of the old year. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

SOME REFLECTIONS ON THE OPENING OF THE NEW

YEAR, 1750.

I HAVE this day been solemnly renewing the dedication of myself to God, and my heart has been warmed with a great desire to serve him. I have been considering how I am to employ myself for him. And on the whole have determined, by the divine assistance, to go on doing something every day in my Expositor; hoping that I may before the end of the year, if God should spare my life, have transcribed at least to the end of Ephesians, with the notes, in which I propose to read Lefant chiefly in the evening, and to finish for the press the whole on the Romans. If I can also publish a Sermon on Brotherly Love, and the account of Zinzindorf, it will be well. For I plainly see that these things rid very slow with the pressure of so much business, and there are many letters upon my hands. Nor can I persuade myself by any means to neglect my people, so that I must not confide in reading many books or doing much other business, while the Family Expositor is in hand, about the accuracy of which I grow more solicitous,

as I have so much reason to believe that it will go through a considerable part of Europe. I must also attend to the interest of religion among my pupils, and have more conferences with them, especially in the evening, than I have had of late. I shall also probably end Rollin, and perhaps may get an opportunity of reading a little of Tacitus, with Gordon's translation, of which I hear so many good things. But I fear I shall neither publish Sacramental Meditations nor Hymns; * yet I may perhaps do something towards getting them in some forwardness.

I would fain hope that the evenings will be more carefully redeemed, and the beginnings of the afternoons saved, which have so often been unaccountably lavished away. I would at least secure four hours a week, to be set down as to a cash account; and would devote to God the like proportion of my substance as last year, keeping the account carefully; and would secure a little time for devout meditation at least once a week; and guard against excess

at supper.

In the prospect of being much pressed with letters, I would consider what my debts of that nature are, and what I may get dispatched by other hands, either dictating, or getting them set down in short hand, to be transcribed. I would keep an attentive eye on the growth or declension of the church, and would resolve to intercede more fervently with God both on public and private accounts, as I find my prayers have been too selfish. I will also bend my preaching with the most fervent application to the purpose of bringing sinners to Christ, and of advancing believers in holiness.

I propose to keep my diary as constantly as I can; to set down memorandums in time, and not to throw the accounts of one day into another, when I can conveniently

* The Hymns alluded to were published by the Rev. Job Orton, after the death of Dr. Doddridge.

prevent it, which often has occasioned the omission of many useful hints, and introduces a bad habit in other things as well as that.

The tender state of my dear daughter's health this year has thrown me into some anxiety. God knows how near she lies to my heart. I earnestly beg that, if it be his blessed will, he would favour me in preserving her life, and that of poor Mr. Clayton for the ministry.

The lower class not having been very closely superintended, it has occurred to me not to spend any time between breakfast and dinner below, except so as to dress myself, and if I have finished my lectures before dinner, to call the juniors to spend some time in examining them. I also would attend sometimes at Mr. Hopkins's society, and on my own family evening prayer. These things I propose, by the divine assistance; and I desire to leave all my affairs with God, waiting on him, and keeping his way.

MEDITATIONS ON THE SACRAMENT, MARCH 4, 1750. AFTER a very affectionate sermon on God's not sparing his own Son, but delivering him up for us all, I delivered some remarks on those words, “O send forth the lights of thy truth; let them lead me; let them guide me to thine holy hill." Whatever sense these words had in the mouth of David, they refer to heaven, as used by a Christian, at such a time. It is a hill. It is an ascent in every sense. We must labour as in ascending a hill. But the pleasure of the view from the summit will well reward the difficulties of the way. It is not only to the wise a way to the life above, but it is to depart from hell beneath. It is a holy hill: there it is holiness in the abstract. Is it not desired in that view. Am I so unhappy as to be surrounded with those who are not holy, and who do not desire to be so? Lord, thou knowest I long for the perfection of holiness,

to get rid of these remaining burthens of pollution. But it is to be remembered, that we need God's light and truth to be sent out for this purpose. His light. Lord, shine out upon me, shed knowledge and vigour into my soul; O shed thy light upon me both to guide and cheer me; lest I wander, lest I droop. A ray from God shot forth into the soul is indeed delightful. And thy truth. Teach me to depend upon it. Give me a sense of its excellency. Let my soul rest upon thy promises, and be assured of a performing God. Let me do an honour to them, by being persuaded of their reality, and so embracing them. These thoughts are especially proper at the table of the Lord. We have been guided to Sion in one sense; but there is a better Sion in expectation. May we not hope that from hence God will send forth his rays, his light, and his truth, considering all the promises as here sealed. Yea, and

amen.

tuary.

Can we not say, as we have seen thee in the sanc

MEDITATION ON THE SACRAMENT, APRIL 8, 1750. I INTRODUCED the ordinance with these words, “Nevertheless I have something against thee." I-Who? Our Lord Jesus Christ, who holds the stars in his right hand, who walks among the seven golden candlesticks. He had something against them; though their labour, patience, and zeal are so honourably commemorated. We may emulate them, and say, O that it were with us as with them; yet Christ had something against them! Then we should surely inquire, whether he has not something against us? and what can we imagine it to be? is it with regard to secret devotion? not that we omit it; but then it is carelessly performed, hurried into hasty moments; is it in our family? not that we are guilty of the great wickedness of omitting prayer, but then it is degenerated into a form; is it that we have little concern about the souls committed to our

care, children, servants, or friends? is it that we are wanting in charity? whether in candour, finding fault with the characters of others, and presuming to censure them, when perhaps they are better than ourselves? or that we want charity to the bodies of others? have not set apart a portion of our substance, as many do? that we do not look into their cases do not care to hear of their sorrows, but are ingenious to find out excuses for blaming, instead of pitying and relieving them. Is it attachment to this world, either its honours, profits, or pleasures? is it the loss of our first love? how unreasonable! why should we love Christ less than we did, when he first formed an acquaintance with our souls? has he not rather bestowed more and greater favours upon us? well then, let us own, that whatever he has against us we are inexcusable: and to you, spectators, has he not something against you? even this single circumstance, that you attend not upon his table: though you have had so many engagements and invitations, though so many have testified to the refreshments they have received, which testimony we now repeat. What then is to be done? if thy brother has ought against thee, go and be reconciled, much more is it to be reconciled here; but you need not go, for lo he is here! pour out your hearts before him, and say, blessed Jesus, I repent, forgive me. Give me grace for the future to walk more consistently with thee; if thou hast any thing more against me, Lord make me know it, and I will gladly renounce it. Lord, I can relish nothing while thou hast ought against me.

MEDITATIONS ON A SACRAMENT, MAY 6, 1750.

PERHAPS I have seldom in my whole life seen any sacrament from which I had less expectation than from the present; in some measure on account of my bodily indisposition, for a violent cold had seized my lungs, which kept me from preaching either parts of the day, though in the