While he commemorates their sins, he assures them he had forgiven them. I will blot out as a cloud thy transgressions, and as a thick cloud thy sins. They were as a cloud, which hid the face of heaven, obscured the lustre of the sun; such a cloud that thunder and lightning, death and destruction, might break forth from it. Thine iniquities have separated between thee and thy God, and caused him to cover himself with a cloud, so that his sun shall not pass through. But here is consolation: I have blotted them out, caused them all to vanish, cleared them away. The sun never yet shone upon that cloud, which was so thick, that it did not at length disperse it, and get the better of all, and in a little time break forth again with renewed splendour. In consequence of this, he declares a constant affectionate remembrance; thou shalt not be forgotten of me; I have redeemed thee; and when thou considerest how I have redeemed thee, thou mayest be sure I will not forget thee. It is much more easy to imagine, that having been redeemed I should be remembered, than that I should have been redeemed. Thou shalt not be forgotten by me in the poorest and most afflicted circumstances; when forsaken and forgotten of men; of thy best friends. Thou shalt not be forgotten by me in thy dying moments! Thou shalt not be forgotten, when a separate spirit! He will say to his angels, take care of that soul, it is one of my redeemed ones; conduct it to my presence, for there I have determined it shall be for ever fixed. I will have it in my sight, and in my arms. Well may he, in consequence of all this, call them to return to himself. Return to me, for I have redeemed thee: if thou hast forgotten me, and wandered from my service and my love, come, I have surely paid a sufficient price and ransom for thee. What wouldst thou more? I have redeemed thee with the blood of my own son. Thou art mine, come back, and I will receive thee; come back, and serve me more faithfully and more resolutely than ever.

In breaking the bread, I urged a constant and growing zeal for Christ, lest he should say, O my dear servant, why didst thou loiter? why did thy love and zeal flag? didst thou discover any unwillingness in me, any thing to lessen thy esteem for me, or hast thou found any new charms in the world? In prayer before the wine I was exceedingly enlarged in self dedication, referring life, and all its concerns to God, and expressing a willingness to lie upon a bed of sickness as long as he pleased, as well as for his sake to leave the most pleasurable scenes of mortal life. God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son, that my soul was this day filled as with joy unspeakable and full of glory; nor have I often known more of heaven than I knew at this time. Oh, that it may continue, impressed upon the imagination of my heart, and bear me through whatever trials may lie before me. For I confess this great enlargement made me apprehensive of some trial; and my hearing nothing from my dear wife, now at Bath, by this post, after the silence of the two former, makes me the more solicitous: but I would not be afraid of evil tidings, since there is so much reason that my heart should be fixed and trusting in God.

MEDITATIONS AT THE LORD'S TABLE, OCT. 31, 1742.

THIS was a delightful day; in the morning both in my retirement and in my attendance on public worship, I had soul-ravishing communion with God. Mr. B. preached an excellent sermon from being justified freely through his grace by the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. That hymn of Dr. Watts's, "Blood has a voice to pierce to skies," gave me great encouragement. I preached upon the happiness of Israel; and connected a meditation at the Lord's table from those words, "O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help." Israel is here described as destroyed,

self-destroyed, but helped by the Lord. As destroyed terribly. Destruction from God may well be a terror; as under a sentence of condemnation of wrath, alienated from God, in the way to misery. What the world calls being ruined is nothing in comparison with that; to be impoverished, to be condemned: and this by ourselves. It is not merely another's work, but I myself sold my own soul:-O for what vile trifles! So foolish have I been. I have been as a beast before thee, much worse; a beast is incapable of such folly. Verily it is the madness of a rational creature. Yet are we to lie down under this sentence of destruction? No. Blessed be God! there is help. Help in God for the greatest sinner. There could be no other help. I was sunk so low, no other arm could save I was under a sentence that none else could reverse.

me.

But God says, in me is thy help. Who but God could have helped in such a way? who but he could have said to Jesus, descend and die? We come now to commemorate this help, and to praise God for it, and to give ourselves to him, as self-destroyed sinners, whom he has recovered and saved. When breaking the bread, I said we sometimes wish to see Christ, and to make our acknowledgments to him. Though I know not what we should say or do, save only to cast ourselves down at his feet, and weep. I know of nothing more. But we may now speak to him in the language of the heart. He is here: our thoughts need not utterance, in order to be known to him. He sees them in the secret recesses of the soul. Speak then to Christ, and say, Lord, I believe: help my unbelief! That thou shouldst die, and purchase heaven for me with thy blood, (strange!) but I believe it. I cannot judge of thee by myself. As heaven is high above the earth, so are thy ways above mine. Lo, I see it here above all. Earnest addresses were then made to the spectators, as undone; and they were called to apply to Christ for help. I had reason here to

bless God for his goodness to my dear wife, of whom I have had comfortable accounts lately; and also for his wonderful mercy, in visiting me with the light of his countenance so much as he did in the preceding parts of the day, and in the course of the last month. For I know not that ever I lived a month in greater nearness to God than this.

Adored be his grace to one of the most unworthy of his creatures. Lord, continue thy loving kindness.

MEDITATIONS AT THE SACRAMENT, DECEMBER 5, 1742. THIS, through the divine goodness, has been a delightful day, though nature was so much fatigued in the evening that I could hardly go through with the work of it. In the morning I enjoyed so much of the divine presence and love, that I was but just able to bear up under it, especially when contemplating the resurrection of Christ, and the tenderness he expressed for his disciples. Never did I find more ardent transports of love to him since I have known his dear and gracious name, which is indeed like ointment poured out. I had a pleasant morning, when Mr. Sowden preached of the pastoral care; and though the public ordinances of the afternoon were not animated to the degree they have sometimes been, yet when I came to the table of the Lord, there indeed I did enjoy him, and rejoice in him; so that the shadows of the evening came upon me before I was aware, and found me in a state of spirit, which I could with great delight have exhausted for future hours in his service. The subject of my meditations at the table of the Lord was, "This is he who came by water and by blood;" not by water alone, but by water and by blood. It plainly alludes to the sight of Christ upon the cross, when John saw the soldier piercing his side, and that "there came forth blood and water." He came by water; and the apostle saw the water distinctly, which was an extraordinary cir

VOL. V.

G G

cumstance, and signifying that it was the fountain opened, in which we were to be washed. He sanctifies his people; and in this sense, if he does not wash us we have no part in him. But it was not by water alone. There was blood too, to intimate that it was not enough that we were sanctified: there was still a bar in the way to our justification; and indeed God would never have sanctified those whom he had made no provision to justify, for he would never cast into hell a soul that loves him. Christ came by blood. Justice demanded blood. And thus it was that he became obedient to death, even to this death of the cross. And the Spirit testifies this. And how do we receive this testimony? Do not we desire to come to Christ in this view, as he himself came, by water and by blood? Let us then draw near with a pure heart, and in full assurance of faith; having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience in this blood, by which we have boldness to enter into the holy place; and having also our bodies washed with pure water, as he came both by water and by blood. What followed I do not particularly remember.

SOME MEMORANDUMS OF NEW YEAR'S DAY, 1743. I HAVE this morning been calling upon God. I have been renewing the dedication of myself to him, with as entire a consent of heart as I think myself capable of feeling, and with that calm acquiescence of soul in him as my portion and my happiness, which I would not resign for ten thousand worlds. And indeed I have great reason to hope that he is come to take up his residence in my soul by his Holy Spirit, and that he will shed abroad more and more of the effusions of his grace upon my heart.

I have in the last year received many favours from him. It was a year of health, which suffered very little interruption, except about the beginning of February, the time