1736. Memorandum. I will use inspection over those under my own roof, that I may with the greater freedom urge other heads of families to the like care.

October 22, 1736.

REFLECTIONS ON THE SEVENTY-FIFTH SACRAMENT.

I APPROACHED this ordinance with solemn importunate prayer for the divine presence in it. And I desire thankfully to record it, that this prayer was not in vain. Perhaps I may say, I never knew what it was to enjoy more of God than I this day enjoyed. Perhaps more of heaven is not to be brought down upon the earth. I write it with some amazement, that I stood upon the grave of my dear Betsey, and thought of that lovely creature that was once, next to God, on the throne of my heart, with very little emotion. The loss of so amiable a child seemed hardly worth mentioning between God and my soul; when I saw before my eyes the memorials of a Redeemer's dying love; when I looked forward towards that heavenly world to which I verily believe God is conducting me, to which I apprehend he will shortly bring me;—and I heartily subscribe my Amen to it.

Having discoursed in the pulpit on Christ, as the fountain opened, in which to wash from sin, and from uncleanness, I introduced the ordinance with some reflections on that petition of the leper, "Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean." I observed that he was sensible of his malady, apprehended himself polluted; and the best souls will apprehend it most. He applied therefore to Christ with a full persuasion of his power: though it were professedly the work of a God to do it. It is of great importance to approach this ordinance, believing that Christ can do it, and believing that he will do it. In the dying hour, then he will lay his hand upon us and say, "I will thou be perfectly clean, for ever clean." Blessed expectation!

Happy hour! how well is it worth our while to pass through every trial and agony in our way to it, that we may leave these polluted garments of flesh in the grave, and arise Holy and immortal into the Heavenly Presence.

When breaking the bread, I reflected that how, without that breaking of Christ's body, we had been crushed with the weight of the Divine vengeance. What was his love in instituting the ordinance? perhaps particularly foreseeing our pleasure in it, at least, seeing and causing it now, and rejoicing in our joy. We are pleased to see our friends cheerful at our table, pleased with our entertainment ; much more is Christ so: therefore is he represented with amazing condescension, rejoicing as a bridegroom over his bride, and as joying over us with singing.

When taking the cup, I particularly insisted on being made free by Christ from the devil, from worldly entanglements, corrupted affections, and the everlasting curse of God. We have, perhaps, a warm sense of liberty, what liberty can be compared with this? "Lord, the desire of our souls is to the remembrance of thy name;" it is the great thing that we would desire to have; a more affectionate remembrance of thee. Were I to choose a text for my last sermon, it should be this, that " Whether present or absent, may we be accepted of him." Delightful thought! that this labour shall not be in vain in the Lord.

November 7, 1736.

REFLECTIONS ON A VISIT RECEIVED FROM MR. JONES.

THIS day I enjoyed a great deal of the company of my pious and worthy friend, Mr. Jones, of Abbots-Ripton, a clergyman for whom I have the most sincere and tender respect. He showed me several papers, especially relating to Lady Price, which I read with pleasure and with confusion, when I observed her shining and eminent piety, which I think as conspicuous as any I have ever seen;

her daily and nightly devotions, watching over her family as a guardian-angel while they slept; referring, as it were, all her other passions into the love of God and her husband, passing through the world as a stranger in it, always tending homeward. What also I heard of Mr., of Mr. Bunbury, Sir John Price, and many other persons of the Established Church, relating to their real goodness and zeal for the glory of God, and the salvation of their own souls, put me to the greatest shame, when I compared it with my own unprofitable life; particularly what I saw of some hints which Mr. Jones had drawn up for self-examination, which contained so much elevated and spiritual devotion, and betokened a mind so thoroughly devoted to the glory of God, and the good of mankind, that I thought I had never seen any thing of the kind that equalled them. On this, I began to consider from whence I had fallen; which was the more impressed upon my mind by some wise and good, as well as very prudent, gentle, and respectful admonitions which my wife gave me, as to that indolence of temper which grief has in part brought upon me, and which has been increased by the unusual burden I have been under upon account of the Brixworth affair; that of Lady Russell, and many others. This has, indeed, produced a most shameful neglect of visiting the sick, and much more the rest of my people, or the promoting of family religion among them, or taking any account of the young persons, or of much conversation with my pupils about inward religion; nor have I made any considerable progress in my Family Expositor, or in any kind of public business. The reasons are too plain; lying long in bed; passing over secret devotion in a hasty way; omitting the Scriptures or other books, except what were just necessary to prepare the family expositions; trifling below stairs after dinner and supper; spending the afternoons in visits of pleasure and amusement, rather than of pastoral duty;

and the evenings too often abroad at entertainments, and that sometimes at public places; as well as lately with Mr. Spence; all these things have had their influence upon this occasion, and have prevented my behaving in many instances as a minister and a tutor, distinguished by so many eminent and peculiar obligations. May God, through Christ, forgive all, as I, through grace, determine that all shall be reformed, and that immediately, without waiting for another year or month, another day or hour.

Thursday, Nov. 9, 1736.

REFLECTIONS ON THE EIGHTIETH SACRAMENT.

I HAD discoursed from the pulpit at the desire of a very agreeable and amiable friend, Miss West, on confession and pardon, from Psalm xxxii. 5. "I said, I will confess my transgression to thee, and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin." I was interrupted between the services by the warming of a little wine, which I drank before I went to the table. If this was a help to animal nature, it was a much greater hindrance to the inward man, and I found a great deal of reason to repent it; for I have seldom found less composure, or less affection, than in the former part of the ordinance: yet in that my good friend Samuel — told me that he found most. The subject of the discourse was these words, "The blood of Jesus Christ his son cleanses from all sin." I observed, that it was wonderful to think that the Son of God appeared among us at all; especially to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself, and to shed his blood for it. This evidently led to such reflections as these: See our natural misery, that we need to be thus cleansed. How deep the stain! how aggravated the guilt! which nothing but the blood of the Son of God could atone. Learn how rich the grace of God! how wonderful the love of the Redeemer, that did not deny even this! See the reasonableness of applying to God through this blood, which

to neglect must be a great affront to it. See also the encouragement to apply to it, since it cleanses from all sins; which is an answer to the severest things that conscience can say of our own hearts. In breaking the bread, I saidReflect upon the love of Christ. Had he secured such comfort for us upon any terms, though by only speaking a word; what then, in the present case, when such blessings were procured, not merely by care and intercession, but by blood! I had sweet communion with God in the prayer; and especially afterwards, in devoting and submitting all to him. Perhaps some great breach is speedily to be made upon me. Lord, here am I; thy will be done.

December 5, 1736.

REFLECTIONS ON THE BEGINNING OF A NEW YEAR.

I AM just now come to the period of that which has undoubtedly been the most afflicted year of my whole life; but I subscribe to the wisdom and goodness of God in all those afflictions. I am come to the beginning of another, which I am ready to believe will be the last. The Lord grant, that whether it be so or not, it may be the best that I ever spent ; a year of constant communion with God, of steady devotedness of soul to him. I have been renewing my covenant transactions with him this morning in secret, though, alas! in too cold a manner. But I must record it to my shame, when I opened that treasure, of which my heart is so fond, the book which contains the countenance of my dear Betsey, as it was taken off from the poor corpse when it lay in its coffin, then my passions were touched; then I found a flow of them, which I endeavoured to turn at least into a right channel; and after near and sweet communion with God, in the exercise of love to him and my fellow creatures, I resolved to renew the following rules of life, and to endeavour to despatch the following articles of business with the divine assistance. 1. To rise at six o'clock,