LEONTINE, OLIVIA 436 OLIV. What can it mean? LEON. He knows something, and yet for my life I can't tell what. OLIV. It can't be the connection between us, I'm pretty certain. LEON. Whatever it be, my dearest, I am resolved to put it out of fortune's power to repeat our mortification. I'll haste, and prepare for our journey to Scotland this very evening. My friend Honeywood has promised me his advice and assistance. I'll go to him, and repose our distresses on his friendly bosom : and I know so much of his honest heart, that if he can't relieve our uneasinesses, he will at least share them. [Exeunt. End of the Second Act. ACT THE THIRD SCENE-YOUNG HONEYWOOD's House Bailiff, HONEYWOOD, Follower BAIL. Looky, sir, I have arrested as good men as you in my time: no disparagement of you neither. Men that would go forty guineas on a game of cribbage. I challenge the town to show a man in more genteeler practice than myself. HON. Without all question, Mr. I forget your name, sir. BAIL. How can you forget what you never knew? He, he, he ! HON. May I beg leave to ask your name? BAIL. Yes, you may. HON. Then, pray, sir, what is your name? BAIL. That I didn't promise to tell you. He, he, he! A joke breaks no bones, as we say among us that practice the law. HON. You may have reason for keeping it a secret, perhaps? BAIL. The law does nothing without reason. I'm ashamed to tell my name to no man, sir. If you can show cause, as why, upon a special capus, that I should prove my name-But, come, Timothy Twitch is my name. And, now you know my name, what have you to say to that? HON. Nothing in the world, good Mr. Twitch, but that I have a favour to ask, that's all. BAIL. Ay, favours are more easily asked than granted, as we say among us that practice the law. I have taken an oath against granting favours. Would you have me perjure myself? HON. But my request will come recommended in so strong a manner, as, I believe, you'll have no scruple [pulling out his purse]. The thing is only this: I believe I shall be able to discharge this trifle in two or three days at farthest; but as I 19 would not have the affair known for the world, I have thoughts of keeping you, and your good friend here, about me, till the debt is discharged; for which I shall be properly grateful. BAIL. Oh! that's another maxum, and altogether within my oath. For certain, if an honest man is to get anything by a thing, there's no reason why all things should not be done in civility. 29 40 HON. Doubtless, all trades must live, Mr. Twitch; and yours is a necessary one. [Gives him money.] BAIL. Oh! your honour; I hope your honour takes nothing amiss as I does, as I does nothing but my duty in so doing. I'm sure no man can say I ever give a gentleman, that was a gentleman, il usage. If I saw that a gentleman was a gentleman, I have taken money not to see him for ten weeks together. HON. Tenderness is a virtue, Mr. Twitch. BAIL. Ay, sir, it's a perfect treasure. I love to see a gentleman with a tender heart. I don't know, but I think I have a tender heart myself. If all that I have lost by my heart was put together, it would make a—but no matter for that. HON. Don't account it lost, Mr. Twitch. The ingratitude of the world can never deprive us of the conscious happiness of having acted with humanity ourselves. 48 BAIL. Humanity, sir, is a jewel. It's better than gold. I love humanity. People may say, that we in our way have no humanity; but I'll show you my humanity this moment. There's my follower here, little Flanigan, with a wife and four children; a guinea or two would be more to him than twice as much to another. Now, as I can't show him any humanity myself, I must beg leave you'll do it for me. HON. I assure you, Mr. Twitch, yours is a most powerful recommendation. [Giving money to the Follower.] 57 BAIL. Sir, you're a gentleman. I see you know what to do with your money. But, to business: we are to be with you here as your friends, I suppose. But set in case company comes.Little Flanigan here, to be sure, has a good face, a very good face: but then, he is a little seedy, as we say among us that practice the law. Not well in clothes. Smoke the pocket holes. HON. Well, that shall be remedied without delay. Enter Servant SER. Sir, Miss Richland is below. 66 HON. How unlucky! Detain her a moment. We must improve my good friend little Mr. Flanigan's appearance first. Here, let Mr. Flanigan have a suit of my clothes-quick-the brown and silver-Do you hear? SER. That your honour gave away to the begging gentleman that makes verses, because it was as good as new. HON. The white and gold, then. SER. That, your honour, I made bold to sell, because it was good for nothing. 75 HON. Well, the first that comes to hand then. The blue and gold, then. I believe Mr. Flanigan will look best in blue. [Exit FLANIGAN. BAIL. Rabbit me, but little Flanigan will look well in anything. Ah, if your honour knew that bit of flesh as well as I do, you'd be perfectly in love with him. There's not a prettier scout in the four counties after a shy-cock than he. Scents like a hound; sticks like a weasel. He was master of the ceremonies to the black Queen of Morocco when I took him to follow me. [Re-enter FLANIGAN.] Heh, ecod, I think he looks so well, that I don't care if I have a suit from the same place myself. 85 HON. Well, well, I hear the lady coming. Dear Mr. Twitch, I beg you'll give your friend directions not to speak. As for yourself, I know you will say nothing without being directed. BAIL. Never you fear me, I'll shew the lady that I have something to say for myself as well as another. One man has one way of talking, and another man has another, that's all the difference between them. Enter MISS RICHLAND and her Maid 94 MISS RICH. You'll be surprised, sir, with this visit. But you know I'm yet to thank you for choosing my little library. HON. Thanks, madam, are unnecessary, as it was I that was obliged by your commands. Chairs here. Two of my very good friends, Mr. Twitch and Mr. Flanigan. Pray, gentlemen, sit without ceremony. MISS RICH. [aside]. Who can these odd-looking men be? I fear it is as I was informed. It must be so. BAIL. [after a pause]. Pretty weather, very pretty weather for the time of year, madam. FOL. Very good circuit weather in the country. 103 HON. You officers are generally favourites among the ladies. My friends, madam, have been upon very disagreeable duty, I assure you. The fair should, in some measure, recompense the toils of the brave. MISS RICH. Our officers do indeed deserve every favour. The gentlemen are in the marine service, I presume, sir. HON. Why, madam, they do-occasionally serve in the Fleet, madam. A dangerous service! III MISS RICH. I'm told so. And I own, it has often surprised me, that, while we have had so many instances of bravery there, we have had so few of wit at home to praise it. HON. I grant, madam, that our poets have not written as our soldiers have fought; but they have done all they could, and Hawke or Amherst could do no more. MISS RICH. I'm quite displeased when I see a fine subject spoiled by a dull writer. 119 HON. We should not be so severe against dull writers, madam. tI is ten to one but the dullest writer exceeds the most rigid French critic who presumes to despise him. FOL. Damn the French, the parle-vous, and all that belongs to them! MISS RICH. Sir! HON. Ha, ha, ha, honest Mr. Flanigan! A true English officer, madam; he's not contented with beating the French, but he will scold them too. 128 MISS RICH. Yet, Mr. Honeywood, this does not convince me but that severity in criticism is necessary. It was our first adopting the severity of French taste, that has brought them in turn to taste us. BAIL. Taste us! By the Lord, madam, they devour us. Give Monseers but a taste, and I'll be damned but they come in for a bellyful! 140 MISS RICH. Very extraordinary, this! FOL. But very true. What makes the bread rising? the parlevous that devour us. What makes the mutton fivepence a pound? the parle-vous that eat it up. What makes the beer threepence halfpenny a pot?— HON. Ah! the vulgar rogues, all will be out! Right, gentlemen, very right, upon my word, and quite to the purpose. They draw a parallel, madam, between the mental taste, and that of our senses. We are injured as much by French severity in the one, as by French rapacity in the other. That's their meaning. MISS RICH. Though I don't see the force of the parallel, yet, I'll own, that we should sometimes pardon books, as we do our friends, that have now and then agreeable absurdities to recommend them. 150 BAIL. That's all my eye! The king only can pardon, as the law says; for, set in case HON. I'm quite of your opinion, sir. I see the whole drift of your argument. Yes, certainly, our presuming to pardon any work is arrogating a power that belongs to another. If all have power to condemn, what writer can be free? BAIL. By his habus corpus. His habus corpus can set him free at any time; for, set in case HON. I'm obliged to you, sir, for the hint. If, madam, as my friend observes, our laws are so careful of a gentleman's person, sure we ought to be equally careful of his dearer part, his fame. know 162 FOL. Ay, but if so be a man's nabbed, you HON. Nay, sir, give me leave in this instance to be positive. For where is the necessity of censuring works without genius, which must shortly sink of themselves: what is it, but aiming an unnecessary blow against a victim already under the hands of justice? 170 BAIL. Justice! O, by the elevens, if you talk about justice, I think I am at home there; for, in a course of law HON. My dear Mr. Twitch, I discern what you'd be at, perfectly, and I believe the lady must be sensible of the art with which it is introduced. I suppose you perceive the meaning, madam, of his course of law? MISS RICH. I protest, sir, I do not. I perceive only that you answer one gentleman before he has finished, and the other before he has well begun. 179 BAIL. Madam, you are a gentlewoman, and I will make the matter out. This here question is about severity, and justice, and pardon, and the like of they. Now, to explain the thing HON. Oh! curse your explanations. Enter Servant [Aside. SER. Mr. Leontine, sir, below, desires to speak with you upon earnest business. HON. That's lucky. [Aside.] Dear madam, you'll excuse me, and my good friends here, for a few minutes. There are books, madam, to amuse you. Come, gentlemen, you know I make no ceremony with such friends. After you, sir. Excuse me. Well, if I must. But I know your natural politeness. BAIL. Before and behind, you know. FOL. Ay, ay, before and behind, before and behind! 191 [Exeunt HONEYWOOD, Bailiff, and Follower. MISS RICH. What can all this mean, Garnet? MISS RICH. Ay, it is certainly so. Well, though his perplexities are far from giving me pleasure, yet I own there is something very ridiculous in them, and a just punishment for his dissimulation. 201 GAR. And so they are. But I wonder, madam, that the lawyer you just employed to pay his debts, and set him free, has not done it by this time. He ought at least to have been here |