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Mr. - how much I despised him, I looked back at his house with the utmost scorn and disdain. I still remember how foolishly I triumphed and exulted over this proud Christian, by indulging in the recollection that I was nevertheless Abraham's seed, and he only a Gentile. Away I hastened from the spot, repenting heartily of the step I had taken, and giving myself over to the most painful despondency. For some days after this I did all I could to drive from my mind all thoughts of Christianity, and would fain have become wholly indifferent to religion. Could I have followed the bent of my own mind, I think I should at this time have wholly apostatized from God. But I thank my God! from this fearful fall I was preserved; and for this I am indebted to the book I had in my possession—the New Testament. Here, in the pages of this book-all my difficulties were settled-all my doubts removed. By reading it my afflictions were made light, and my labours rewarded: and why should I now hesitate to tell you what I was so anxious you should know, that after careful examination, I have received the deepest conviction that our nation has indeed rejected the true Messiah! and that Jesus is the Saviour of the world! So fully was I convinced of this, and so warmly attached had I become to His person, that I shuddered to hear His name blasphemed, or Christianity spoken of with contempt.
But the most severe trial was occasioned by the painful opposition which the inquirer anticipated and suffered from his parents, which he thus describes :
“I have felt prepared to brave the terror of excommunication, and the persecution of my brethren, but the thought of reducing my parents to shame, sorrow, and even the grave, I could not endure. Think, now, what would be my condition, if it were known that in my heart I am a Christian. Not only should I be cast out of the synagogue, but be banished from my father's house-exposed to actual want—and withal carrying with me the bitter consciousness of having brought sadness, and obloquy, and despair, upon all I love best on earth.”
Referring to the New Testament, he says:
" This reinvigorates my soul. I can now rise above myself. In the power of the Gospel of Christ I scorn the very idea of consulting flesh and blood. My soul's destiny is at stake. I see the powers of hell despairingly hurl their last weapon to separate my soul from Jesus. But it cannot be-thank God, they shall not succeed ; nothing shall separate me from Emanuel.”
And thus, in describing the interview which took place at length, he says:
When we parted yesterday, I hastened home, with a full determination to declare to my parents the conviction of my soul. When, however, I found myself in their midst, my spirit failed me, my tongue faltered, and I could not utter a word. Judge, then, of my surprise, when in addressing my sister on a common place subject, she turned away and burst into tears. Instantly my conscience told me that I was betrayed, and that all was discovered. This circumstance, however, gave me confidence; I felt all my resolution returning, and in the strength of the Lord I prepared for the conflict. Apprehensively I ventured to glance at my father, and beheld indignation gathering in his countenance. At this moment
the bitter lamentation of my mother reached my ears, and for a time my heart failed me. I felt both mind and body sinking. “I do not believe it,' cried my poor mother, they have belied my son; speak, my dear, speak, and restore the peace of your parents, who are nearly heart broken. They have told us that you are a Meshumed, that you believe in the Tooleh-speak, my son, and comfort your poor mother, ere she sinks into despair.'
At this, again, my spirit failed me. I shook like a leaf, and scarcely knowing what I did, I attempted to approach my distressed parent, in order to sooth her grief by (as with shame I now believe) denying the Lord that bought me. Thanks be to the great Jehovah, who was near. At that instant I heard my father's voice, which, whilst it made my frame shake, convinced me of my momentary weakness and error. •Do you think,' cried my father, that even for a moment I credited that he actually believed in the crucified -- Never! but woe be unto him if he hatlı only entered the Typhley!' * Then woe must be unto me,' I responded, with a burst of tears, " for not only have I done this, but I also believe that Jesus of Nazareth is the true Messiah!'
“ I do not think that the latter part of my reply was heard by my parents ; for no sooner had I uttered the first sentence, than my mother fell down fainting ; and my sister, who uttered the most heart-rending shrieks, in hastening to support my poor parent, fell down senseless by her side. As for my father, he exclaimed, “Shema Yisrael,' and hid his face and wept.
“ At this woeful sight I staggered, and shoul:l have fallen, had I not supported myself gainst the wall. In the meantime, several persons, attracted by the cries of my sister, were entering the room, and rendered such help to my beloved friends as I would gladly have rendered, but that I was not able to move from the spot.
“Stupified and bewildered, I gazed at the confused scene before me, scarcely conscious of its meaning. Suddenly I heard my father's footsteps approaching me. I felt his trembling hand on my paralyzed arm; and then, leading me to the door, with a look I shall never forget, he cried with a tremulous voice, “There go, and never return to my house again.'
“ To describe what were my feelings at that moment, when standing an outcast at my father's door, I am unable. And yet, deep as was my distress, I felt some consolation as glancing upwards through my tears at the open heavens, the words of David were brought to my recollection : · When my father and my mot) forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.' (Psalm xxvii. 10.) Presently I remembered the words of Isaiah: But now, thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel. Fear not, for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name : thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee; when thou walkest through the fire thou shalt not be burned : neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour.' Is. xliii. 1-3.
“ The contemplation of these passages was a precious balm to me from heaven, I felt as if in the strength of these promises I could begin my
pilgrimage. Slowly I bent my steps from my home, my all-not knowing whither I went. For the first time, I felt I was a stranger in the midst of my brethren. During this awful night heaven has been my shelter and tears my meat. But, blessed be Jehovah, I have not been left comfortless. I have called upon the Lord, and He has heard me. Knowing this to be the time of the synagogue service, I came here, hoping, if possible, to see my poor father, and to obtain, if possible, his blessing. I saw him come in company with Rabbi
and as they came near where I stood, my father saw
me, and his reproachful look went like a dagger to my heart.'
“A REMNANT ACCORDING TO THE ELEC
TION OF GRACE.".
The following facts, a few out of many, illustrate the inspired assertion of the Apostle : There has been a remnant from among God's ancient people. The “ Acts of the Apostles” record the progress of the gospel amongst the Jews as well as amongst the Gentiles, and show that thousands of the former were the first to enter “the ark of Christ's Church.” In subsequent times the Jews, instead of being invited to believe on Jesus, were often driven from the Church, or forcibly compelled to profess Christianity or die.
The ancient Church, after apostolic times, appears to have made no provision for preaching the Gospel to the Jews. Some few of the fathers wrote against them in languages which the Jews considered profane, and therefore did not read; but no systematic attempt was made by the Chris