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Thus agonized in spirit he proceeded to the church, where he found a large congregation assembled and waiting to hear the Word: and then it was, he observed, that he was more deeply distressed than ever, and especially for the dishonour which he feared would fall upon religion, through him, that day. He resolved, however, to attempt, the service. He introduced it by singing a psalm; during which time his agitations were increased to the highest degree. When the moment for prayer commenced, he arose, as one in the most perilous and painful situation, and, with arms extended to the heavens, began with this outcry, 'Lord, have mercy upon me!' The cloud instantly broke away, and an unspeakably joyful light shone in upon his soul, so that his spirit seemed to be caught up to the heavens, and he felt as if he saw God, as Moses did, on the Mount, face to face, and was carried forth to him, with an enlargement greater than he had ever before experienced; and on every page of the Scriptures saw his divinity inscribed in brightest colours. The result was a deep solemnity on the face of the whole congregation; and the house, at the end of the prayer, was a Bochim. He gave them the subject of his evening meditations, which was brought to his full remembrance, with an overflowing abundance of other weighty and solemn matter. The Lord blessed the discourse, so that it proved the happy means of the conversion of about thirty persons. This day he spoke of ever afterwards as his harvest day. Taken from the Evangelical Magazine," 1807.
feel it an honour in being permitted to record the event, and shall give it verbatim as it came to me, by the hands of my esteemed brother Button (of Leicester,) who was commissioned by the bereaved husband to bring it.-ED.]
[Christian Reader :-You are here presented with a brief memorial of the life and death of one of our heavenly Father's beloved saints. I have read it myself with much solemn and grateful feelings of soul. My acquaintance with the deceased was slight, but it was sufficient to enable me to see, and to declare that she was (by the grace of God,) an exceedingly choice mother in Israel. A more sober, steady walking, faithful and affectionate christian woman I never knew. I have mourned in my soul over her death, because I know full well, that while she is unspeakably happy, my dear brother Walker has sustained a loss that must frequently cause his poor heart to bleed; the dear children have lost a mother of mothers; and pastor Garrard has lost a friend that could sympathise with him, and did keenly feel for him in all his trials. But, the Lord has taken her home. May each and all of us have grace given that through faith and patience, we may also at last inherit the promises.
MY DEAR FRIEND BANKS:-You have already been informed of the removal from a world of sin and sorrow to a world of holiness, and joy, and peace of my dear and much lamented wife, which took place on the 29th of May, the day she was 45 years of age, after a long and painful affliction. And she having left a most sweet and blessed testimony of the Lord's goodness and mercy to her, I have sent you a few particulars, and some of her sayings during her affliction; but must leave it with you to correct, and insert or reject what you please, as I find our dear pastor, who has furnished me with a brief outline of the sermon he preached on the occasion, has mentioned a few things that I have myself.
Truly, my dear friend, I have lost in her a most valuable wife my dear boys a most affectionate and excellent mother-and the church a most valuable and excellent member. But you are not ignorant of her sterling worth, both as regards spiritual and temporal things; for, as regards the former, she was indeed godly above many; and the latter, careful and managing above many: so that her price was above pearls, and as Newton says, 'Her care and management was the chief concern of my life, she was the very hinge on which my life turned!' But she is gone: and the only solid comfort I can find, is, when I can in any small measure feel that I have an interest in those blessed and glorious realities that her soul ardently longed after, and which she is now richly enjoying. Your affectionate friend,
My dear wife, from her first conviction, was a woman of a very tender conscience, and favoured with great zeal and warmheartedness in the cause of Christ, which you and many others can bear witness to, and of the godly and and savory conversation they have enjoyed, and the excellent counsel they have received from her, both of a spiritual and temporal nature; and in all her actions and deportment was a most praiseworthy example of a humble follower of the meek and lowly Jesus.
The first conviction she had was when about twenty-four years of age. Having gone out with what is called, a pleasureparty,' in running down a hill she felt her heart beat within her, and the thought struck her that it was her soul, and she said, within herself, that if she was spared to reach home, she would never go on such an occasion again. But, however, these impressions wore off, and she went to the same place once or twice after. But shortly after this she lost a brother by death, and manifesting a great concern about his body, her sister said, 'it does not concern me
about his body, but to know what has become of his soul;' which remark sunk deep in her heart, and never left her, though it did not for the time cause any deep concern. But soon after, being, in the providence of God, removed to a distant part of the country, the Lord put a cry into her heart which none but himself could satisfy, and which, in his own good time he did, with these words, 'Daughter, be of good cheer, thy sins are forgiven thee; but the first words that struck her mind very forcibly was,' Behold he prayeth and being at that time in a secluded spot, none but God and herself knew what sweet communion she enjoyed with her heavenly Father around the private walks, in the park, and in the private rooms in the house. A circumstance occurred about this time, which I must not forget to mention: being in a family that were strict church people, and read prayers morning and evening; and her mistress required the servants to repeat the Lord's prayer after her; but not being able, at that time, to call God her Father, from a feeling sense that he was her Father, she could not repeat the words; she was therefore called up to know why she did not repeat the words; when she told her mistress that not feeling God was her Father, she could not, but if she particularly wished it, she would, as a command from her, but not from God; but however, she said, she clearly saw the hand of the Lord towards her; for her mistress told her she would not press it, and also gave her permission to go once on the Sabbath to hear a servant of the Lord who preached the everlasting gospel to a few poor people, a few miles distant, which she esteemed an inestimable privilege, and where her soul was often greatly refreshed. Soon after this she was brought, in the providence of God to Leicester, and was directed to the chapel in York Street, where the late Thomas Hardy laboured; but, being just at the time of his death, she did not hear him, but the late Mr. Robert Creasy, who succeeded Mr. Hardy, coming about this time, she was very highly favoured under his ministry, and by him she was baptised, greatly rejoicing in the Lord; and continued through evil and good report, a consistent and honorable member of the church through Mr. Creasey, Mr. Blackstock, and Mr. Garrard's ministry, (under the last named of which, according to her own words, her soul was greatly strengthened and established,) up to the time of her last illness, which began in October, 1847; from the very first of which she felt persuaded would be unto death, as when pleading with her heavenly Father to make it manifest unto her whether this sickness was unto death, the dear Lord spoke these sweet words with great power to her soul'In my Father's house are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you; I go to prepare a place for you;' and which words were much blessed to her many times during her affliction; and it is very
remarkable that she never had the least fear of death the whole of her affliction. She remarked to me two or three times, how kind the Lord was, for I have never had the least fear of death all this affliction, and which was an evidence to her, as well as to me, that the Lord was about to take her to himself; and it was truly astonishing to see with what calmness and composure she spoke of her end, and at intervals, as the Lord gave her strength, set her house in order, made every arrangement for the funeral, &c., with the greatest fortitude, clearly showing the sweet peace she enjoyed in her soul; and one day she said to me, after she had been arranging some of her little matters, 'If any body had told me the happiness that I should have enjoyed, and the blessed light that I should have had in the very prospect of death, I could not have believed them; so that it will not matter to you nor me how it may be with me in my last moments, if I am not able to say a single word, the work is done; and done for me.' And from that time (according to her own request) we did not force any conversation with her, her voice being broken.
She was not able to say much in her last moments, as it was exceedingly painful to her to articulate at all; but had she not been able to have said one word, I should not have had the least doubt of her security in Christ, she having given numberless unquestionable evidences of her interest in his great salvation. On the Sabbath Day fortnight previous to her death, I said, this is the beloved Sabbath, an earnest of that eternal Sabbath. 'Yes, she said, which is secured for me, but ĺ cannot talk about it now.' She was not in raptures during her illness; but her mind was sweetly stayed on the Lord the whole of the time; and excepting at very short intervals, when the enemy was permitted to assault her, from whose temptations she was not exempt, for as she told me he would sometimes set before her eyes one thing, and sometimes another to draw her mind from meditating upon heavenly things, still she manifested the most cheerful resignation to the will of God. If any spoke of her sufferings which were very great, she would say, 'I shall not have one pain more than my heavenly Father sees good for me.' She often expressed an ardent longing to be gone, and often repeated that verse of the Poet
I feel this mud wall cottage shake,
And also one day she said to a friend, Susan, you must sing when I am gone; her friend said,' What shall we sing?" For me to die is gain;' she said, instantly. At another time she said, 'You must clap your hands and rejoice when I am gone. She never once manifested the least desire to get better; for she said I am sure I shall sin again, and would therefore, rather de
part and be for ever freed from sin; so that when I read the Obituary of Mrs. Vinal in the June number of the Vessel, whose experience was similar in many things to my dear wife; of her it might be said, death desired and not dreaded; for she said several times, the chariot is long in coming, but it is on the road, and will soon be here.' And if any friend hinted that the time of her departure was near, her countenance would brighten up, and she evidently rejoiced at the thought that the time was very near. And I am sure that as her afflictions increased and abounded, so her consolations in Christ abounded also.
Oh, for an overcoming faith, To cheer my dying hours.
And her last words, which she repeated two or three times, were, 'The cord will soon be broken, and then the gates will be opened; a friend said, To receive thy ransomed spirit;' Yes,' she said; then without a struggle, or a sigh, sweetly fell asleep in Jesus. Truly it may be said of her,' Her end was peace; the memory of the just is blessed.' E. WALKER. [Much more, my dear friend Banks, might be said of the grace of God, as manifested in my beloved wife, but thus much must suffice.]
[The following is a brief sketch of the sermon Mr. Garrard preached on the occasion of Mrs. Walker's death.]
quest, by giving her the following scripture, after which no argument could move her from her steadfast belief, that God was about to take her home to himself. The text was this, 'In my Father's house are many mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.' From that time, she appeared to have little or no desire to live in this world. Yea, she was anxious to depart and be with Christ. Indeed, she would not hear anything about recovering. She told me with her own mouth, that she had no desire to live in this world; for if she were to recover, she knew that she should sin again, and that had been a great burden and plague to her; therefore, if she had her choice, she had rather depart to be with Christ and sin no more. I never saw any person so anxious to die before as she was. She had many extraordinary manifestations from Christ, inasmuch as she said she could not have believed, until she had experienced it herself, that any one in the mortal body could feel such sweetness, and see such light and glory as she had experienced during her last illness. Her spirit, it appeared, lived in heaven, while her body lingered on earth. She arranged all her affairs with the greatest precision; and said to her husband, 'There, I have given you my last directions and advice (which were strictly attented to), and, said she, when you turn your back on me in the church yard, and have left me in the grave, then ask advice and direction of the Lord for your future proceedings. And,' she said, when I am gone, tell Mr. Garrard to preach from the very word the Lord gave unto me, viz., ' In my Father's house are many mansions,' &c.
I am not a great admirer of funeral of a saint of God, I feel compelled to comsermons, nevertheless, at the dying request ply; I will just give the principal heads and divisions, and leave it with the reader for enlargement by meditation.
66 1. That we have no continuing house on earth. in heaven. II. That we have an everlasting house
MY DEAR FRIENDS,-Our beloved sister, Hannah Walker, for some years past, had been subject to periodical attacks of pulmonary consumption, and in this last attack, she made it a matter of earnest prayer to the Lord to know whether it was the Lord's will to raise her up once more, to continue a while longer with her husband and her two children, or whether it was his will to take her to himself? The Lord was graciously pleased to answer her re
66 III. It is a prepared place for a prepared people.
"First This stupendous universe, or the habitable globe, has been the temporary residence of mortals in all ages and generations; but by reason of sin and death, all must pass out of it. All flesh is grass. The wicked shall be turned into hell, but the righteous shall go into life eternal.
"Second: The visible church of God on earth, is but a temporary lodgment, or Not a refreshment house by the way. visible vestage of many of the churches in Asia remains. The saints of God in all ages, assembled in houses made with hands, have been removed from them to their mansions above. Patriarchs, prophets, apostles, and numerous saints, have enjoyed the ordinance and preaching of the word, and refreshments of the lower house, the
presence of Christ, the light of God's countenance, and the comforts of the Holy Ghost; but here they had no continuing house, or city: by faith they sought one to come. One generation of saints pass away, and another, by the Spirit of God, are raised up to fill their places on earth, until the consummation of all things, when the marriage of the Lamb comes, and the bride in all nations have made herself ready, or are prepared for the palace of glory above. "Third: The mansions will be your own "Third: Our houses of earth, brick, or property, bequeathed and made over to you stone, that we may build, buy, or hire, are in the name of Christ, who is heir of all no certain dwelling places; we cannot keep things; and you, heirs of God, and jointplagues, diseases, nor death out of them by heirs with Christ.' No sophisticating lawall the skill of physicians; yea, we take yer, either on earth or elsewhere, shall ever the seeds of disease and death, into our rob you of your mansions; Christ is your houses with us, and death ultimately is law-giver, head, husband, and glorious sure to turn us out, either into the dark king; the church is his consort queen for and dismal house of hell, or into the ever. And God in this time state is pleased glorious shining mansions in heaven, pre- to give the heirs of glory, while in this pared for them that love God. We may mortal, earthly house, the writings and enter into our houses here on earth, hired, title-deeds of their mansions above; and bought, or built new for us, in our wedding these our sister had clearly written before clothes, but death turns us out muffled in she departed out of this earthly house, and a ghastly shroud, covered with a black she had light given to read them herself, pall, and lodges the body in the dark grave, before she departed, and was anxious to be until the resurrection day, and the mourn-off to take possession, and be with Christ. ers go about the streets. God had written his law of faith and love'
"Fourth: This vile body, 'the earthly house of our tabernacle,' is no certain dwelling place for the soul. Sin has bred the plague in the house and down it must come. Yea, through sin, time and age, the house becomes untenantable, and to a heaven-born, sanctified soul, a miserable lodgment, and the more of the sanctifying Spirit, and grace of God is given to the soul, the more loathsome the house becomes; and those souls who have smelled and tasted the sweet savour of heaven and Christ in the old house, are sure to smell the greatest stink of the plague, and have the most ardent desires to leave the house, depart and be with Christ, which is far better; which you know was the case with the apostle Paul, though the fleshly mind may still linger to stay longer.
II. That we have an everlasting house in heaven. "First: A house not made with hands, viz., not of this building. Some have disputed to know whether heaven is only a state, or a place. I believe it is both a state of peace, rest, perfect happiness, and glory unspeakable; and a solid state, a place immovable, because Jesus saith, I go to prepare a place for you.' Many mansions, many houses, palaces, superb, uncreated, and glorious, lighted with God's presence, where the saints will breathe only the pure Spirit of God; which is light, life, and love, where the happy departed souls will ultimately be clothed with a light transparent, immortal, and glorious body, being clothed upon with their house, which is from heaven,' which will never decay, neither can they die any more."
Second: The house is eternal, not of corruptable material, but was from everlasting everlasting habitations, standing in
infinite space; there saints in their glorious bodies will have a boundless range of pleasure grounds; uncreated, immortal groves, living fountains and rivers of delight. God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death. No death nor disease shall ever enter into those immortal, uncreated, glorious and everlasting mansions of the saints.
in her heart and mind, and none could blot it out. Men are very particular about their writings and parchments of old houses here on earth; but how few appear to be concerned about the writings and title to the house above. O ye humble, doubting souls, who have not had clear evidences, sue at the Will Office of heaven for your writing and title deeds of your glorious mansion. 'Ask and it shall be given you." And you that have once had the witness of the Spirit in your soul, in whose hearts God hath put his fear, and written his law of love in your hearts and minds, remember what God doth, is done for ever; nothing can be added to it, nothing taken from it; never expect God to do that again which he has once done. Men have the writings of their houses made out but once in their lifetime. God writes it but once, adds nothing to it, takes nothing from it for ever; but men may have the writings of their houses in their house, and yet cannot find them, nor read them in the dark; but when light in the morning breaks in at the windows, they can read again. So pray for more light from heaven, the light of God's countenance, that you may read them again and again, and say, 'I know that if this earthly tabernacle were destroyed, I have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.'
III. Heaven is a prepared place for a prepared people.
First: They are prepared by a new birth, being born of the Spirit, washed in the blood of Christ, sanctified by the Spirit, the word and the blood, and clothed in Christ's righteousness, and thus prepared for glory. Christ, by his life, death, obedience, and righteousness, hath prepared
the way to heaven for them, passed through | Hackney, with profit of soul, she felt inclined the gates of hell and death, took the keys away with him; heaven's everlasting doors were opened for his personal entrance, and he is there to prepare a place for his people.
to cast in her lot with them, which I believe she did, till the ministry became closed, which she expressed as a source of great trial to her soul, although she said she could see that there was a deal of that in some of the friends, as well as the minister, that needed the pruning knife, and that God was bringing his own forth to see and acknowledge the same. But now the next trial was, where can my soul find a home? Wander about she could not. Give herself to prayer she must, which by the help of the Lord, she did. Just about this time she said, a friend said to her, 'Did you ever hear that man at Beulah Chapel?' She said, 'No.' Her friend urged her to go; which she did. She said the first time she heard you it was not with that refreshing she could wish; but solemnly convinced that it was God's soul-searching word that she had heard, and go again she must, and so did the Lord command his blessing on the word; that some of the most solemn and sacred hours in communion with Christ did her soul enjoy; thus, to use her own words,' Whether in the body, she did not know.'
"Second; His personal presence as their mediator, advocate and intercessor, is a preparation for them. If a bride had ever such a glorious mansion with all accommodations, and found not her husband there whom she loved, the place would not be suitably prepared. But Christ being there in person to receive departing souls, everything is prepared for their reception, nothing wanting; and being united to Christ in everlasting wedlock, the mansions are their own, as being heirs and joint heirs with him. No rent, no rates, and it is all freehold for ever. They shall enter into the king's palace, and go no more out. All the tribute they pay is a willing offering a tribute of praise. Unto him that loved us, and washed us in his own blood, and made us kings and priests to God and his Father for ever." "
The late Pamela Jacobs.
MY DEAR BROTHER AND PASTOR IN THE LORD: Grace and peace be multiplied to you. Having many times felt my soul comforted and refreshed in reading the experience of the living family of God, my mind has been impressed with this feeling, that some notice should be taken of the life and death of our departed sister P. Jacobs. I was one with the rest of our dear friends that heard her relate many precious things at the giving in of her experience. Little did I think how soon the Lord would remove her from the church militant, to the church triumphant above. As it was therefore my happiness to hear at different times, from her own lips, the goodness of God to her soul, I thought I should like our friends who read the Vessel to know how graciously the Lord did fulfill his promise both in life and in death to our sister. It appears that Mr. Isaacs, of Hackney, was the honoured strument, in the hands of the blessed Spirit, of leading her to see an end of all perfection in the creature, and the glory of that perfect righteousness wrought out, and brought in by her dear Redeemer, when he preached from John i. 17,' For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.' This verse, her mother told me was particularly marked in her Bible, with her name attached round the verse. Oh, how dear and sacred to such souls are the words that the blessed Spirit is pleased to impress on the soul. I recollect now, at this moment, how she referred to that solemn time, and dated all her conflicts as commencing from that moment. After the Lord had thus appeared she became very much impressed to find a home with the Lord's people. Having heard Mr. Hugh's of
After hearing you on one occasion speak on Believer's Baptism, she became much concerned to follow her dear Lord in that despised ordinance, although she said she knew it would bring upon her a great cross which would be the loss of her situation, which was truly the case. Now to seek a place near to the house of God was her desire and prayer. The last place she lived at was our dear friend and brother Mr. Josiah Denham; and I feel happy to say that their loss of her, as a God fearing servant, corresponds with what I have here imperfectly stated of her.
It appears she was taken ill with the small pox, and taken home to her mother's house, and from thence to the hospital, where she died, telling her dear mother not to fret, for she was going to dwell with Christ above; the inmates of the hospital said they had never witnessed such a happy death there; they were truly led to see that 'Blessed are the dead that die in the Lord.'
Just before she died, she earnestly rein-quested her young sister to read the 43rd chapter of Isaiah, speaking of the preciousness of that chapter to her soul. I recollect her speaking several times of that chapter, in the course of conversation, before her illness, as one that had many times been so powerfully applied to her soul. Thus lived, and thus died our sister, as a witness of those precious truths, my brother, that the Lord has enabled you from time to time to deliver amongst us.
May the Lord go on to bless us, whom our dear sister has left behind in the wilderness, with much of the overshadowing of his blessed Spirit; so that we may say and feel with the Lord's dear servant, For us to live is Christ, and to die is gain.'
Your's, in undying love, E. PACKER.