That makes a still-stand, running neither way. [Exeunt.] London. A Room in the Boar's-head Tavern in East - cheap. Enter two Drawers. 1. Draw. What the devil hast thou brought there? apple-Johns? thou know'st, sir John cannot endure an apple-John. 2. Draw. Mafs, thou say'st true: The prince once set a dish of apple-Johns before him, and told him, there were five more sir Johns: and, putting off his hat, said, I will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, wither'd knights. It anger'd him to the heart; but he hath forgot that. 1. Draw. Why then, cover, and set them down: And see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise; mistrefs Tearsheet would fain hear some musick. Dispatch: The room where they supp'd, is too hot; they'll come in straight. 2. Draw. Sirrah, here will be the prince, and master Poins anon: and they will put on two of our jerkins, and aprons; and sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath brought word. By the mafs, here will be old utis: excellent stratagem. 1. Draw. It will be an 2. Draw. I'll see, if I can find out Sneak. [Exit.] Enter Hostels and Doll Tearsheet. Host. I'faith, sweet heart, methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose: But, i'faith, you have drunk too much canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere What's this? How do you now? one can say, Dol. Better than I was. Hem, Host. Why, that's well said; A good heart's worth gold. Look, here come's sir John, Enter FALSTAFF, singing. Fal. When Arthur first in court -• Empty the jordan. And was a worthy king: [Exit Drawer.] How now, mistrefs Doll? Host. Sick of a calm: yea, good sooth. Fol. So is all her sect; an they be once in a calm, they are sick. Dol. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me? Fal. You make fat rascals, mistress Doll. Dol. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; 1 make them not. Fal. If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; grant that, my poor virtue, grant that. Dol. Ay, marry; our chains, and our jewels, Fal. Your brooches, pearls, and owches; for to serve bravely, is to come halting off, you know: To come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charg'd chambers bravely: Dol. Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself! Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet, but you fall to some discord: you are both, in good troth, as rheumatick as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that must be you: [to Doll.] you are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel. Dol. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuff'd in the hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack: thou art going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again, or no, there is nobody cares. Re-enter Drawer. Draw. Sir, ancient Pistol's below, and would speak with you. Dol. Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come hither: it is the foul-mouth'dst rogue in England. Host. If he swagger, let him not come here: no, by my faith; I must live amongst my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the very best: Shut the door; there comes no swaggerers here: I have not lived all this while, to have swaggering now: shut the door, I pray you. Fal. Dost thou hear, hostels? Host. Pray you, pacify yourself, sir John; there comes no swaggerers here. Fal. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient. Host. Tilly-fally, sir John, never tell me; your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before master Tisick, the deputy, the other day; and, as he said to me, it was no longer ago than Wednesday last, - Neighbour Quickly, - says he; then; ill name; - master Dumb, our minister, was by Neighbour Quickly, says he, receive - those that are civil; for, saith he, you are in an now he said so, I can tell whereupon; for, says he, you are an honest woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what Receive, says he, no swagguests you receive: There comes none here; gering companions. you would blefs you to hear what he said: no, I'll no swaggerers. Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostels; a tame cheater, he; you may stroak him as gently as a puppy-greyhound: he will not swagger with a Baibary hen, if her feathers turn back in any shew of resistance. Call him up, drawer. Host. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater: But I do not love swaggering; by my troth, I am the worse, when one says swagger; feel, masters, how I shake: look you, I warrant you. Dol. So you do, hostels. Host. Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an aspen leaf: I cannot abide swag. gerers. Enter PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and Page. Pist. 'Save you, sir John! Fal. Welcome, ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack: do you discharge upon mine hostels. Pist. I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two bullets. Fal. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her. Host. Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets: I'll drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I. Pist. Then to you, mistrefs Dorothy; I will charge you. Dol. Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion. What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master. Pist. I know you, mistress Dorothy. Dol. Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale jugler, you! Since when, I pray you, sir? What, with two points on your shoulder? much! Pist. I will murder your ruff for this, Fal. No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol. Host. No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain. Dol. Captain! thou abominable damn'd cheater, art thou not ashamed to be call'd captain ? If captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking their names upon you before you have earn'd them. You a captain, you slave! for what? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! Hang him, rogue! He lives upon mouldy stew'd prunes, and dry'd cakes. A captain! these villains will make the word captain as odious as the word occupy; which was an excellent good word before it was ill sorted: therefore captains had need look to it. Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient. Pist. Not I: I tell thee what, corporal Bar- dolph; I could tear her: on her. Page. Pray thee, go down. |