Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ? Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell, cousin? Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us understand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand that is,-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them. Pist. He hears with ears. Era. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves did he (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again. else), of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two-pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Fal. Is this true, Pistol? Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. Era. But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. Eva. Bet can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth;-therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir,-I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires to wards her. Shal. That you must: will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz ; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid? Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven. may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner !-sir John, and married, and have more occasion to know one ano master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilbo : Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he. Nym. Be advis'd, sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it. Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John! Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. Enter Mistress Anne Page, with Wine; Mistress Ford and Mistress Page following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met by your leave, good mistress. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome:-Come, [Kissing her we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. [Exeunt all but Shal. Slender, and Evans. Slen. I had rather than torty shillings, I had my book of songs and sonnets here: Enter Simple. How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, mast I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you! Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake, upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ? Shal. Come, coz; come, coz we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here ;-do you understand me! Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. ther I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely ;-his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Re-enter Anne Page. Skal. Here comes fair mistress Anne :-Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne ! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.. [Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: Exit Simple] A justice peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man: -I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though! yet I live like a poor gentleman born. will not sit, till you come. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they Sien. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys for bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot dogs bark so! be there bears i'the town? abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your of. Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England :-you are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not! Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson loose, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it pass'd :-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em they are very illfavoured rough things. SCENE III. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin. Fal. Mine host of the Garter, Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow let me see thee, froth and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster: go; adieu.. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit. Pist. O hase Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield ? Nym. He was gotten in drink is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a fico for the phrase ! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seemt scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to will thrive, lads, we will thrive. mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear s'eel? then, Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [To Rob.] bear you these letters tightly; Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; And high and low beguile the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Pist. With wit, or steel? By welkin, and her star! With both the humours, I; I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. A Room in Dr. Caius's House. Enter Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby. Quick. What; John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. given to prayer; he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender's your master? Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a cane-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Eng-fought with a warrener. lish'd rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He huth studied her well, and translated her well out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her boy, say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eylíads sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Quick. How say you ?-O, I should remember him; does he not hold up his head, as it were and strut in his gait? S'm. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter Rugby. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in the Closet] He will not stay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go inquire for my master: I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home-and down, down, adown-a, &c. [Sings. Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you :-Have not your worship a wart depeche, above your eye? Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. "Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to- Caius. Peace-a your tongue :--Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page, for my master, in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;-good faith, it is such another Nan :-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread :-We had an hour's talk of that wart;--I shall never laugh but in that maid's company. But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing but for you-Well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me Quick. Will, I? i'faith, that we will and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. [Exit. Quick. Farewell to your worship.-Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does :-Out upon't! what have I forgot? [Exit. ACT II. SCENE I. Before Page's House. Enter Mistress Page, with a Letter. Mrs. Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters in subject for them? Let me see: the holy-day time of my beauty, and am I now a [Reads. Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love his counsellor: You are not young, no more am I; use reason for his precisian, he admits him not for Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am some paper:-Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes.; ha! ha! then there's more sympathy: you love Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy;-but notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself; Sim. "Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you avis'd o'that? you shall find it a great charge and to be up early, and down late; but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, -I know Anne's mind,-that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vil! teaeli a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make :-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat :-do not you tell-a me dat I shail have Anne Page for myself!-by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon:-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well we must give folks leave to prate: What the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to de court vit me ;-by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door:-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. Within] Who's within there, ho? Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. Enter Fenton. Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? sack, and so do I; would you desire better sympa- Thine own true knight, John Falstaff. world!-one that is well nigh worn to pieces with How shall Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. Mrs. Page, 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do then; yet I say, I could show you to the contrary: 0, mistress Page, give me some counsel ! Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour what is it?dispense with trifles ;-what is it? Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What ?-thou liest-Sir Alice Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read, read; -perceive how I might be knighted.--I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking and yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere and keep place together, than the hundredth psalm to the tune of Green sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease.-Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first: for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names (sure more), and these are of the second edition: he will print them out of doubt: for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, a d lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man. Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the very hand, the very words: what doth he think of us? Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury. Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to keep him above deck. Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a finebated delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine host of the Garter. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance. Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight: come hither. [They retire. Enter Ford, Pistol, Page, and Nym. [poor, Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young.. Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and Both young and old, one with another, Ford; He loves thy gally-mawfry; Ford, perpend. Ford. Love my wife? Pist. With liver burning hot: prevent, or go thou, Like sir Acteon he, with Ring-wood at thy heels: O, odious is the name! Ford. What name, sir? [night: Pist. The horn, I say: farewell. Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do Away, sir corporal Nym. Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o'the town cominended him for a true man. Ford. "Twas a good sensible fellow Well. Page. How now, Meg? Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George ?-Hark you. Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank? why art thou melancholy? Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy.-Get you home, go. Mrs. Ford. 'Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Have with you.-You'll come to dinner, George?-Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry knight. [Aside to Mrs. Ford. Enter Mistress Quickly. Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: she'll fit it. Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter Anne. Quick. Ay, forsooth; And, I pray, how does good mistress Anne? Mrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an hour's talk with you. [Exeunt Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Mrs. Quickly. Page. How now, master Ford? Ford. You heard what this knave told me; did you not? Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me ? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded men; very rogues, now they be out of service. Ford. Were they his men! Page. Marry, were they. Ford. I like it never the better for that-Does he lie at the Garter? Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words let it lie on my head. Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to turn them together. A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied. Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.-How now, mine host? Enter Host and Shallow. Host. How now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman : cavalero-justice, I say. Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand. Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bullyrook. Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between sir Hugh the Welsh priest, and Caius the French doctor. Ford. Good mine host o'the Garter, a word with you. Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook? [They go aside. Shal. Will you [To Page] go with us to behold it? my merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons? and, I think, he hath appointed them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear, the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier? Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him, [sing.my name is Brook; only for a jest. (Exit. Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. Nym. And this is true; [To Page] I like not the humour of lying. He hath wrong'd me in some humours; I should have borne the humoured letter to her but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. My name is corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch. "Tis true:my name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife.-Adieu! I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and there's the humour of it. Adieu. [Exit. Page. The humour of it, quoth 'a! here's a fellow frights humour out of his wits. Ford. I will seek out Falstaff. Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue. Ford. If I do find it, well. Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is aerry knight.-Will you go on, hearts? Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. Shal. Tut, sir, I cou'd have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats, Host. Here, boys, here, here I shall we wag? Page. Have with you I had rather hear them scold than fight. [Exeunt Host, Shallow, ani Page. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frai'ty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and, what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff: if I find her honest, I lose not my labour: if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed. [Exit. SCENE II. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter Falstaff, and Pistol. Fal. I will not lend thee a penny. Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had looked through the grate like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in hell, for swearing to gentlemen, my friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon mine honour, thou hadst it not. Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteenpence? Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason. Think'st thou, I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me, I am no gibbet for you:-go.-A short knife and a throng:-to your manor of Pickthatch, go. You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue-you stand upon your honour!-Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do it, you? Pist. I do relent; What wouldst thou more of man? Enter Robin. Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. Fal. Let her approach. Enter Mistress Quickly. Quick. Give your worship good morrow. Quick. Not so, an't please your worship. Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the first hour I was born. Fal. I do believe the swearer: What with me? Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe thee the hearing. Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir;-I pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myself dwell with master doctor Caius. Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say, Quick. Your worship says very true: I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. Fal. I warrant thee nobody hears;-mine own people, mine own people. Quick. Are they so? Heaven bless them, and make them his servants! Fal. Well mistress Ford;-what of her? Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wantou: Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray ! Fal. Mistress Ford-come, mistress Ford. Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as 'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly (all musk,) and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.-I had myself twenty angels given me this morning: but I defy all angels (in any such sort, as they say), but in the way of honesty :-and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; bat, I warrant you, all is one with her. Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good she Mercury. Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of;-master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart. Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her. Quick. Why, you say well! But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too;-and let me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss your morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! Ful. But, I pray thee, tell me this has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me? Quick. That were a jest indeed!--they have not so little grace, I hope that were a trick, indeed! But mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves; her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly she deserves it for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy. Fal. Why, I will. Quick. Nay, but do so then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's my purse: I am yet thy debtor.--Boy, go along with this woman.-This news distracts me! [Exeunt Quickly and Robin. Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers:Clap on more sails; pursue, up with your fights; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [Exit. Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught of sack. Fal. Brook, is his name? Bard. Ay, sir. Fal. Call him in; [Exit Bardolph] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that overflow such liquor. Ah! ha! mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encompass'd you? go to; via! Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford disguised. Ford. Bless you, sir. Fal. And you sir: would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold, to press with so little preparation upon you. Fal. You're welcome; what's your will? Give us leave, drawer. [Exit Bardolph. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook." Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you. Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge |