o. 429.] Saturday, July 12, 1712. -Populumque falsis dedocet uti Jocibus- MR. SPECTATOR,-Since I gave an acunt of an agreeable set of company which ere gone down into the country, I have ceived advices from thence, that the intution of an infirmary for those who ould be out of humour has had very good ects. My letters mention particular cirmstances of two or three persons, who d the good sense to retire of their own cord, and notified that they were withawn, with the reasons of it to the comny in their respective memorials.' = The humble Memorial of Mrs. Mary Dainty, Spinster, "Showeth, That conscious of her own want of erit, accompanied with a vanity of being mired, she had gone into exile of her n accord. "She is sensible, that a vain person is the ost insufferable creature living in a welled assembly. "That she desired, before she appeared public again, she might have assurances, at though she might be thought handme, there might not more address of comiment be paid to her than to the rest of e company. "That she conceived it a kind of superiity, that one person should take upon him commend another. "Lastly, that she went into the infirmary, avoid a particular person, who took upon m to profess an admiration of her. "She therefore prayed, that to applaud t of due place might be declared an ofnce, and punished in the same manner th detraction, in that the latter did but port persons defective, and the former ade them so. "All which is submitted, &c." 'There appeared a delicacy and sincerity this memorial very uncommon; but my end informs me, that the allegations of it ere groundless, insomuch that this declation of an aversion to being praised was derstood to be no other than a secret trap purchase it, for which reason it lies still the table unanswered." The humble Memorial of the Lady Lydia Loller, "That he hath put himself into the infirmary, in regard he is sensible of a certain rustic mirth, which renders him unfit for polite conversation. "That he intends to prepare himself, by abstinence and thin diet, to be one of the company. "That at present he comes into a room as if he were an express from abroad. "That he has chosen an apartment with matted antechamber, to practise motion without being heard. a "That he bows, talks, drinks, eats, and helps himself before a glass, to learn to act with moderation. "That by reason of his luxuriant health he is oppressive to persons of composed behaviour. "That he is endeavouring to forget the word 'pshaw, pshaw.' "That he is also weaning himself from his cane. "That when he has learnt to live without his said cane, he will wait on the company, &c. "The Memorial of John Rhubarb, Esq. "Showeth, "That your petitioner has retired to the infirmary, but that he is in perfect good health, except that he has by long use, and for want of discourse, contracted an habit of complaint that he is sick. "That he wants for nothing under the sun, but what to say, and therefore has fallen into this unhappy malady of complaining that he is sick. "That this custom of his makes him, by his own confession, fit only for the infirmary, Your petitioner humbly prays that he may have people to know how he does, and he will make his appearance. and therefore he has not waited for being | you may with authority censure whatever The valetudinarian was likewise easily Among other things, it is carefully provided that there may not be disagreeable familiarities. No one is to appear in the public rooms undressed, or enter abruptly into each other's apartment without intimation. Every one has hitherto been so careful in his behaviour, that there has but one offender, in ten days' time, been sent into the infirmary, and that was for throwing away his cards at whist. He has offered his submission in the following terms: “The humble Petition of Jeoffry Hotspur, out pitying it. But in order to remove such Esq. "Showeth, company. an impediments, I wish, Mr. Spectator, you would give us a discourse upon beggars, that we may not pass by true objects of charity, or give to impostors. I looked out of my window the other morning earlier than ordinary, and saw a blind beggar, That he humbly desires it may be con-hour before the passage he stands in is sidered, in the case of gaming, there are frequented, with a needle and a thread many motives which provoke the disorder. thriftily mending his stockings. My asto"That the desire of gain, and the desire nishment was still greater, when I beheld a of victory, are both thwarted in losing. lame fellow, whose legs were too big to "That all conversations in the world walk within an hour after, bring him a pot have indulged human infirmity in this case. of ale. I will not mention the shakings, "Your petitioner therefore most humbly distortions, and convulsions, which many prays, that he may be restored to the com- of them practise to gain an alms; but sure pany: and he hopes to bear ill-fortune with a good grace for the future, and to demean himself so as to be no more than cheerful when he wins, than grave when he loses." T. I am they ought to be taken care of in this condition, either by the beadle or the ma gistrate. They, it seems, relieve their posts, according to their talents. There is the voice of an old woman never begins to beg till nine in the evening; and then she is destitute of lodging, turned out for want of rent, and has the same ill fortune every night in the year. You should employ an officer to hear the distress of each beggar that is constant at a particular place, who is ever in the same tone, and succeeds be SIR,-As you are a Spectator-general, cause his audience is continually changing, No. 430.] Monday, July 14, 1712. Go seek a stranger to believe thy lies.-Creech. "For higher of the genial bed by far, ough he does not alter his lamentation. No. 431.] THOMAS MEANWELL.' Tuesday, July 15, 1712. children? SIR,-I was last Sunday highly transTted at our parish-church; the gentleman the pulpit pleaded movingly in behalf of e poor children, and they for themselves uch more forcibly by singing a hymn; and had the happiness of being a contributor the several unhappinesses of life, and comI HAVE lately been casting in my thoughts this little religious institution of innonts, and am sure I never disposed of paring the infelicities of old age to those of oney more to my satisfaction and advan- due to the negligence and misconduct of infancy. The calamities of children are ge. The inward joy I find in myself, and parents; those of age to the past life which e good-will I bear to mankind, make me led to it. I have here the history of a boy artily wish those pious works may be en- and girl to their wedding-day, and I think uraged, that the present promoters may I cannot give the reader a livelier image of ap delight, and posterity the benefit of the insipid way in which time uncultivated em. But whilst we are building this autiful edifice, let not the old ruins re-authentic epistles, expressing all that was passes, than by entertaining him with their ain in view to sully the prospect. Whilst remarkable in their lives, till the period of e are cultivating and improving this young their life above-mentioned. The sentence opeful offspring, let not the ancient and at the head of this paper, which is only a lpless creatures be shamefully neglected. warm interrogation, What is there in na"he crowds of poor, or pretended poor, in ture so dear as a man's own children to very place, are a great reproach to us, and him?' is all the reflection I shall at present clipse the glory of all other charity. It is make on those who are negligent or cruel e utmost reproach to society, that there in the education of them. hould be a poor man unrelieved, or a poor gue unpunished. I hope you will think O part of human life out of your consideraon, but will, at your leisure, give us the istory of plenty and want, and the natural radations towards them, calculated for ne cities of London and Westminster. I m, sir, your most humble servant, 'T. D.' MR. SPECTATOR,-I beg you would be leased to take notice of a very great indeency, which is extremely common, though, think, never yet under your censure. It 5, sir, the strange freedoms some ill-bred married people take in company; the uneasonable fondness of some husbands, and he ill-timed tenderness of some wives. They talk and act as if modesty was only t for maids and bachelors, and that too efore both. I was once, Mr. Spectator, where the fault I speak of was so very flarant, that (being, you must know, a very ashful fellow, and several young ladies in The room,) I protest I was quite out of counenance. Lucina, it seems, was breeding; and she did nothing but entertain the company with a discourse upon the difficulty of eckoning to a day; and said she knew those who were certain to an hour; then fell a aughing at a silly inexperienced creature, who was a month above her time. Upon her husband's coming in, she put several questions to him; which he, not caring to resolve, "Well," cries Lucina, "I shall ave 'em all at night." But lest I should eem guilty of the very fault I write against, shall only entreat Mr. Spectator to cor rect such misdemeanors. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am now entering into my one and twentieth year, and do not know that I had one day's thorough satisfaction since I came to years of any reflection, till the time they say others lose their liberty-the day of my marriage. I am son to a gentleman of a very great estate, who resolved to keep me out of the vices of the age; and, in order to it, never let me see any thing that he thought could give me any pleasure. At ten years old I was put to a grammar-school, where my master received orders every post to use me very severely, and have no regard to my having a great estate. At fifteen I was removed to the university, where I lived, out of my father's great discretion, in scandalous poverty and and I was sent for to see the lady who sends want, till I was big enough to be married, you the underwritten. When we were put not be worse than we were in taking one together, we both considered that we could tered into wedlock. My father says I am another, and, out of a desire of liberty, enanother gentleman. I am, sir, your most now a man, and may speak to him like humble servant, RICHARD RENTFREE.' 'MR. SPEC, I grew tall and wild at my mother's, who is a gay widow, and did not care for showing me, till about two years and a half ago; at which time my guardianuncle sent me to a boarding-school, with orders to contradict me in nothing, for I had been misused enough already. I had not been there above a month when, being in the kitchen, I saw some oatmeal on the . with directions on both sides to be in love with one another; and in three weeks time we were married. I regained my former health and complexion, and am now as happy as the day is long. Now, Mr. Spec, I desire you would find out some name for these craving damsels, whether dignified or distinguished under some or all of the following denominations, to wit, "Trasheaters, Oatmeal-chewers, Pipe-champers, Chalk-lickers, Wax-nibblers, Coal-scranchers, Wall-peelers, or Gravel-diggers," and, good sir, do your utmost endeavour to prevent (by exposing) this unaccountable folly, so prevailing among the young ones of our sex, who may not meet with such sudden good luck as, sir, your constant reader, and very humble servant, T. 'SABINA GREEN, 'Now SABINA RENTFREE.' -Inter strepit anser olores. Virg. Ed. ix. 30. He gabbles like a goose amidst the swan-like quire Dryden. 'Oxford, July 14. invitation in one of your papers to every 'MR. SPECTATOR,-According to a late the following short dissertation against the man who pleases to write, I have sent you vice of being prejudiced. Your most hum ble servant. dresser; I put two or three corns in my "It is a matter of wonder to reflect how far men of weak understanding, and strong fancy, are hurried by their prejudices, even to the believing that the whole body of the adverse party are a band of villains and dæmons. Foreigners complain that the English are the proudest nation under het ven. Perhaps they too have their share: but be that as it will, general charges BOULDER ainst bodies of men is the fault I am riting against. It must be owned, to our ame, that our common people, and most ho have not travelled, have an irrational ntempt for the language, dress, customs, d even the shape and minds of other naOns. Some men, otherwise of sense, have ondered that a great genius should spring t of Ireland; and think you mad in afming that fine odes have been written in apland. kind of. fame. These copiers of men, like "By such early corrections of vanity, "Reflections of this nature have expunged all prejudice out of my heart; insomuch, that though I am a firm protestant, I hope see the pope and cardinals without violent emotions; and though I am naturally grave, I expect to meet good company at Paris. I am, sir, your humble servant. "This spirit of rivalship, which hereto- pon parsons. you at 'MR. SPECTATOR,-I find you are a RALPH THIMBLETON.' vant, "The necessities of mankind require va- Perlege Mæonio cantatas carmine ranas, T. Mart. Epig. clxxxiii. 14. |