sounding list of titles which grace his title-pages; but which, to those who know the man, serve for much the same purpose as the post and lantern you see glinimering up an obscure alley of the city, to arrest the steps of young or old, debauchees. Now I wish you to know, that this same learned Theban" has been for the last six years meditating an edition of Homer, but which has not, as yet made its appearance in public. Heaven forbid that it ever should! However, I like to anticipate, so you shall, have its history. In the outset, our noble Dr. with all that modesty and diffidence which is said to attend genius (but which, entre-nous, is all a hum) summoned to his assistance a fellowlabourer at his vineyard. This worthy coadjutor was nothing more or less than a naturalized Jew. I regret that his name has slipped my memory, but, I have often seen the man; however, he happened to be a man of talent, which the doctor happened not to be;

"And so between them both, they lick'd the platter clean."

Their plan, I understand, was this, the pedagogue was to transcribe Heyne's text, and abridge his notes, and the res doubtable enemy of all grunters, was to write the dissertations, original annotations, and all matters which required any nous. But, alas! dissentions will creep into the best-constituted republics

-the doctor and the Jew could not pull together, a rupture ensued, and the descendant of Levi pocketed his MSS. and turned his back for ever upon. Homer and the schoolmaster. What produced these jars I cannot precisely say, as I was not in the council-chamber when they went to logger-heads. Some say, and with their opinion I am most inclined to subscribe, that the doctor would not consent to let his assistant's name appear on the title-page; he wanted to sport the Jew's wit for his own, which he thought himself entitled to, by being

the head of the confederacy, and that more potent persuasion,

“Do, and we go snacks.'

Others say, that the doctor wished to have an emblematical title-page, which was to represent the old Greek scatter

ing pearls before swine. The Jew thought this an attack upon his unhappy tribe; but the more probable supposition is, that the doctor's modesty had typified himself amongst the grunters. I have also heard it stated, that our "prince of pedants," who is a renowned" cat-gut scraper," offended his compeer by tuning up the old song,

"I got a bit of pork,

And I stuck it on a fork," &c. &c. But be that as it may, the partnership was dissolved, and the world had to mourn for a time this ever-to-be-memorable edition.

"All that's bright must fade,
The brightest still the fleetest
All that's sweet was made

But to be lost when sweetest."

Fade!". -"Lost!"-Oh! no, the doc tor's works can never fade! and, as to "lost," why I don't see how that can be, for I am sure it would be no loss, if they were obliterated for ever. But, unfortunately, that is not the case; the edition of Homer only slumbers awhile to blaze forth again more brightly. It is now going on at full speed, under the superintendance, guidance, correction, assistance, and God knows what, of a quondam pupil of the all-learned editor, who would act a more friendly part to his old master, for whom he professes such a profound veneration, if he advised him to mind his school, leave Homer alone, and, as Pope says,

how many blunders he committed in those said alterations. I would tell you how these verses, with Sleath's exquisite corrections, were afterwards submitted to Dr. Maltby's perusal - how Dr. Maltby detected the blunders, and how he sung a choral dirge over the poor pedant, accompanying it with appropriate action, which dirge, I dare say, Tim, you recollect.

"Hic, hæc, hoc,

Lay him on the block;
Qui, quæ, quod,
Bring me the rod;

Noun, pronoun," &c. &c.

But you must be quite sick of this "bluest of blue-bottles," and I have said enough to show his capacity for editing Homer. If it were not for his insignificance, I would get John Bull to inroll him amongst the "Humbugs of the Age." But that would please the thing too much,

"Who breaks a butterfly upon the wheel?"

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I WILL not swear but that I may be sometimes very much abused at merry meetings-especially homely ones; but I am entirely postive that, at such, there would be no fun at all without me. The good-natured gibe, the innocent jest, would fail to drop glibly from the unmoistened lips; there would be no excellent music," no "flashes of merriment" ripping up the "ravelled sleeve of care," no personifications of "laughter holding both his sides," nothing that cures sorrow and kills grief, if Sir John Barleycorn did not hold his place at the feast-board, the worshipped tutelary saint of the holiday. It would, indeed, be a dry-saw-dust kind of make-believe with

out me.

It is not one of the least important improvements of our times, that I am again becoming popular and of exceeding estimation in the houses of the great. Under one of my aliases, or alii, if I may make for myself a plural, that of "Old October," I am again petted in the steward's room, and sent round in chrystal at the table of "my lord." This is indeed as it should be, and the revolu

Glee of Dame Durdon. tion thus effected in my favor is of more vital importance to the common-weal of Britain, than as if all our boroughs were made pure, all our senators disinterested, all our lawyers honest, our poor-laws free from hardship, and our game-code free from objection. There is not a man that takes me by the hand but contributes his mite to the wealth of the nation, and the best commentary that a monarch can make upon his address to his parliament, when he pledges himself to support the trade and commerce of his country, is to grant me a presentation, and to imbibe my arguments, be they never so potent

But it is at the unsophisticated board of our "country's pride"-a "bold" and happy" peasantry," that I am, perhaps, in my "tip-top" glory, and even there, at no other time, so glorious, as at that jubilee of accomplished hopes, and ardent labours, the " merry harvest-home." It is then that I embrace, overpower, almost kill my enthusiastic votaries with kindness-it is then that I am the be-all and the end-all there-it is then that I move around without a parallel-then

that I become Sir Oracle, and dazzling with my clearness my enraptured votaries, it is then that I almost, nay often quite, induce them to double in idea the delights by which they are captivated and caught.

It was but a moon since-I believe they connect in idea these meetings with moons-that I, to use a plain but serviceable phrase, "played first fiddle" at a jolly harvest-home. It was held in a regular olden-style mansion, and what is as good, with the olden-style customs too. There was the master-" the founder of the feast," as goes the cue ballad of the celebration; and there was the mistress," and there were their family, the " young farmer" being at the head of them, and the "bettermost" people of the parish. And thither too came "the halt and lame," who once could shake a foot, and sport a toe-and the blithe and active who would do so now -and thither flocked the bailiff, not he of writs and bonds, but he of ricks and herds-and the shepherd and the dairymen, and their wives and their children, all came, even down to the little carterboys and the pig-keepers-all came,

"For it was the peasant's holiday,
And made for to be merry."

i was deemed of too much importance to become common during the demolition of veal-pies and rounds of beef, my younger brother, Mr. Single X, being more thought of just at that period : so I made myself useful in the metamorphosis of "a carver," and laid the foundations of my train by feeding the bumpkins with something more substantial than flattery-secure in the knowledge, as was Nelson when he broke the line at the Nile, that my time would come.

Need I now describe the feats of arms and appetite here displayed? Need I dilate of hopes no longer deferred, of expectations realized, of the manoeuverings of the knife and fork, and they were the sabre and the pike, and the baron of beef, the enemy to be annihilated; in short, dare I attempt the transfer of ́the whole lively, eager, scene, its clatter, and its clamours; the Aum dì uλayyǹ of its exertions, to this record? My friends,

I dare not, the thing is impossible; I must leave it to your imaginations, with this special piece of gratuitous admonition. You that have heard and seen harvest-home merriments, go and see and hear them as oft as they occur again; and ye that have not, embrace the first opportunity of doing so, and dwell in ignorance no longer.

But the "keen demands of appetite" are allayed-the beef has yielded, the plum-puddings are not. The brown oaken clean-rubbed table is cleared of the broken-down salt-cellars and the wounded platters; the fragments are gathered up, and polished horns and clear drinking-cups are arranged around, like the satellites and tributary stars round one bright and glorious planet, whilst I in the midst, showing my crowned head above a portly throne, reign omnipotent, and in the hearts of my people, fearing no rebellion against my decrees, no treason against my authority. He of Plantagenet may boast his peculiarities, but it is I that "have no brother, am like no brother;" I only that am myself alone."

66

Then soon came also the evidences of my potency-the pleasant proofs of my winning ways; I mean the cheerful tale, and the hearty chaunt, and sly kissings, and squeezings of hands, and outpourings of honest protestations. Then came too the health of the "squire" and "madam," and the rest of the “noble family," till at last, grown emboldened by the kind participation we lent to their merriment, they called upon the second son of our host, who was to be the future manager of the estate, for a song, after wishing him "good crops, and fair seasons,' This young gentleman, for so he is every inch of him, had seen and mingled in good society, and till recently had been educated with little idea to an agricultural life; but he was a sportsman, and one that could drink his wine with Sir Harry, and his ale once or twice a year with his father's labourers, and so he had the tact to suit his musical discourse to the temperament of his company, whilst its quality tickled their predilections. This is it.

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