"the celestial, my soul's idol, the most beautiful Ophelia" of my likings, is none other than a brown jug of ale, powerfully impregnated with that which “maketh glad the heart of man”—in short, and to end this eventful history, an improved edition of the tryste-cups

and wassail-bowls of antiquity,-and which, though you may

"Doubt that the stars are fire;

Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
Oh! never doubt I love!"
Sept. 3, 1824.

JOHN BARLEYCORN.

66

Macbeth, son of Finlach, grants, to obtain their prayers, as does Gruock, daughter of Bodhe, the king and queen of Scots, Kyrkenes, to Almighty God, and the Culdees of the aforesaid island of Lochleven, with its meres and boundaries. These are the meres and boundaries of Kyrkenes, and of the village which is called Porthmokanne; from Moncloycodhan to the river Leven in breadth and from the high-road which leads from Hinkerkethy to the stone of the Hibernians in length.

"And it is called the Stone of the Hibernians, because King Malcolm, son of Duncan, granted them the Saltpit, which, in Scotch, is called Chonnane. And the Irish came to Kyrkenes, to a man of the name of Mochan, who was absent, and no one was in the house but women, whom the Irish violently ill-treated: not, however, without shame and modesty. The event having come to the ears of the said Mochan, he hastened home as soon as possible, and found the Irishmen there in the same house, with his mother. And having frequently exhorted his mother to come out of the house, which she did not by any means wish to do, but desired to protect the Irish, and obtain peace for them; the aforesaid man, in revenge of their great outrage, burnt them manfully, as insulters of women, barbarous and sacrilegious, together with his mother: and, on this account, the place is called the Stone of the Hibernians."

Machbet filiis Finlach contulit pro suffragiis orationum, et Graoch filia Bodha, rex et regina Scotorum, Kyrkenes, Deo Omnipotenti et Keledeis prefate insule Lochleune, cum suis finibus et terminis. Hic enim sunt fines et termini de Kyrkenes, et villule que dicitur Leuine; et hoc in latitudine: Item, a publica strata que ducit apud Hinhirkethy, usque ad Saxum Hiberniensium; et hoc in longitudine: et dicitur Saxum Hiberniensium, quia Malcolmus rex, filius Duncani, concessit eis salinagium quod Scoticé dicitur Chonnane. Et vcnerunt Hiberniensis ad Kyrkenes, ad domum cujusdam vite nomine Moshan, qui tunc fuit absens, et solum modo mulieres erant in domo, quas oppresserunt violenter Hiberniensis; non tamen sine rubose et verecundia: rei etiam eventu ad aures prefati Mochan perven to, iter quam citius domi festinavit, et invenit ibi Hibernienses in eadem domo cum matre sua. Exhortatione etenim matri suæ sepius factæ ut extra domum vemiret (que nullatenus voluit, sed Hibernienses voluit protegere, et eis pacem dare;) quos omnes prefatus vir, in in ultione tanti facinosis, ut oppressores mulierum et barbaros et sacrilegos, in medio flamme ignis, una cum matre sua, inviliter comburit; et ex hac causa dicitur locus ille Saxum Hiberniensium.

IN one of my perambulations, my course lay in the neighbourhood of Ratcliffe, a place devoted to the sports and pastimes of the sons of Neptune; for Jack," in this piping-time of peace," must fain content himself with these straits, and the neighbouring shores of Wapping, for the scene of his gambols and wayward fancies; not, however, without a sigh for the faded glories of Spithead and Plymouth Sound.

Often does thought recal the glorious days of Gosport's prosperity; when, in his freaks, he melted gold and silver watches in a frying-pan, buttoned his jacket with seven-shillingpieces, or lest he might be thought ever to have fought under false colours, embroidered with gold-lace the back of his waistcoat as costly as ever was the front.

The days, however, when Spanish galleons, and French Indiamen, yielded as prizes to Jack's intrepidity and courage, have passed away, and he is, in consequence, obliged to carry less sail. He has, notwithstanding, lost nothing of his good-humour and native gaiety. With hands in the pockets of his short jacket, he rolls along with as lordly a gait as if he had just landed on leave after a signal discomfiture of the enemies of his country. He is the same merry companionable drinker of grog and brown stout, as profuse of his chink, while it lasts, (for he was never any thing of a financier) and as grotesque in all his actions and propensities as he was when in the zenith of his affluence.

Of this I had an instance on the occasion alluded to. A crowd of people, collected in the centre of the street, rendered it impossible for me to pass, so that fixed to the spot where I stood, without any power of extricating myself from the circumjacent mob, I became a spectator of an unexpected scene. A number of sailors, with flowing cans of beer in their hands, were most vociferous in calling for a coach, until a jarvey and a jarvey-man (it is a great impropriety of speech to confound the terms,) was found to answer this pressing demand. The party was too numerous to be stowed away in one. The first, which may serve as a

Keep a good look-out." Indeed, with whatever stability the vehicle might have been constructed, it had now, either from old age or ill-usage, become so infirm in all its members, as to require much skill to turn it (surcharged, as it was upon this occasion) without incurring a fracture, which would have ended Jack's revels for that day. What, however, with the orders of the terrene pilot, and the adroit obedience of the charioteer, stimulated by the approving smiles of the ladies on his right and left, the jarvey was "put about," without having spilled any of its contents, and drove off at full speed, followed by a loud cheer from some hundred voices, a mark of approbation not unnoticed by the helmsman, who immediately hove to, and ordered mine host of the " Jolly Tar" to produce a butt of Truman and Hanbury's best ale, to put a tap at each end, and allow all his cheering friends to drink at discretion; in which joyous occupation 1 left them, to embark on board a steamer for the Nore. rodio has

By the delay I met with, in my way to the water, I had nearly lost my passage, for 1 did not, like Mr. Belcour, attempt to brush away any obstructors with a rattan," thinking it more than probable "the sturdy rogues would take it in dudgeon," and return me the compliment with usurious in

terest. On my arrival at the stairs, whence I was to take my departure, I found a various group of aquatic adventurers eager for a transit to the packet; and, after the usual squabble between passengers and boatman, as to exorbitancy of price, which ended of course to the advantage of the latter, I got into a wherry, which the avarice of its owner had so overloaded as to endanger his own proper person as well as those of his passengers, and it soon became one of a raft of boats similarly freighted. In a moment the vociferations of the watermen, anxious to discharge their cargoes in hopes of procuring others; the screams of ladies, affrighted and quite certain of being drowned; at least, and perhaps not less apprehensive of not being able to get on-board before the vessel got under weigh, combined to produce a scene admirable to all true lovers of the sublime, as according to Napoleon, "entre le sublime et le ridicule il n'y a qu'un pas." Most of my readers have, without doubt, seen drawings of a trip in "a Margate Hoy ;"-"A packet taking a lurch;". "The Midshipman's Birth;" but, though they have seen all these and more, I promise them a signal treat, should Cruickshank sketch "the boarding a steamer."

Safely on board, however, we arrived, in spite of all the "moving accidents of flood or tide," and soon found leisure to admire the ornaments of our boat.

We gazed with admiration on the prow, where was a highly-finished figure of Venus, who seemed, as at her birth, to spring from the water that surrounded her; on either side we admired the carved zephyrs, with cheeks like cherubims in country churches, and in a broad streak, which graced the ship, our mythological propensities were gratified by her intrigue with Mars; Neptune presenting her son Eryx for congratulation after a successful pugilistic combat; Paris offering the golden apple to the divinity of Paphos, in preference to Pallas and Juno, for which he received the hand of the fost beautiful woman in the world, and other remarkable and novel incidents of her history, which completed this well-executed zone, to the great comfort of the cockney classics. In the centre of the stern, moreover, was represented an altar of Venus, covered with roses, myrtle, and apples; with swans, doves, and sparrows hovering in the air, and on one quarter was a

figure of Cupid in relievo, and on the other a similar one of Adonis. Under the altar this motto.

"Omnia vincit amor et, nos cedamus amori." THE VENUS OF LONDON,

And, as a gentleman near me observed, she was a Wenus indeed."

Six other steam-vessels got under weigh with us, which being joined by several yachts, formed a flotilla not inferior in appearance to that of an Italian regatta, or even of the squadron of the Doge of Venice himself, on a voyage to marry the Adriatic. Our band, with that pleasing effect which music has always on the water, played "Rule Britannia" as we passed through the numerous tiers of ships that lined each side of the river, which form a forest no where else to be matched. Greenwich Hospital is an object that could not be passed unnoticed. It is one of those which is never seen without awakening sentiments of no ordinary character. When I recollected that this was a favourite resort of Queen Elizabeth, and my fancy recalled to mind the gallant Raleigh spreading his gay mantle on the beach, for her to tread on as she disembarked, perhaps at the very stairs which now lay before me-or reviewed the circumstances that placed that prince upon the throne of England, by whom it was appropriated to its present purpose, and now contemplated the veterans of the Nile and Trafalgar spending the residue of a life, devoted to the service of their country, in ease and affluence, at the expence of that best and most excellent of masters, John Bull. My heart warmed with affection for the worthy old gentleman, who so amply provided this splendid asylum for his superannuated and disabled servants.

Clear of the impediments of the river, several sets of quadrilies were formed; and, as I always wish to make the best of any situation I may chance to be placed in, I became one of a party, dancing to the music of La gaza ladra. Opposite to me stood a short swarthy disciple of Crispin, who first saw the light some sixty summers since, and like January in Pope's or Chaucer's tale, contrived to procure a young and beautiful girl for his partner, presenting in their united figures the charming contrast of spring and winter. In truth, the gallant knight of the awl and bristle was not undeserving the prize, for he

danced as merrily through the chaine Anglaise as heart could desire, with his new-shod feet, which were not of the circumscribed dimensions which ordinarily fall to the lot of mortals. He beat time with unerring precision, much in the fashion of a performer on the big drum, and ever and anon, with a grace peculiar, snapped his middle finger and thumb, an admirable substitute for the castanets; nor did he scruple to express his disapprobation of Rossini's music, his favourite air being "Money in both pockets;" which, I understand, he practised with such success at his working bench in the City, that he has now retired to one of the outlets of London, to exhibit his proficiency to his less talented, or less fortunate neighbours, who, burning with envy, as is common with this many-headed monster, harping on this innocent though ostentatious propensity, have dubbed him "the purse-proud

cobler."

In one of the side couples was a young Frenchman, who, by the buoyancy of his entre chats in the cavalier seul, at tracted general attention. The fascinating smile and self-sufficient air with which he led his partner through the demie queue de chat, convinced me of the design Monsieur had already formed on the tender sensibilities of his fair partner. In his countenance was an un equivocal expression of confidence that the charming object of his regards would, before long, fall into his arms, like Psyche in Matthew's representation of the French ballet-master, overcome by the united powers of love and music. Whether his anticipations were ever realized I am sorry it is not in my power to relate. As an honest historian, how ever, I think it right to state, that were I to judge by the style of the lady's dancing, I am fully persuaded she was likely enough to have made a "faux pas."

Immerged as we were in the business of a quadrille, we were not entirely so taken up with capering, that when it was announced a full stop was put to our evolutions by

A SUMMONS TO DINNER,

which was so promptly obeyed by the party who were for the most part of that class who are described as " fruges consumere nati," that though I had the precaution to provide myself with a

dinner-ticket, when I got into the cabin I could not find even standing-room, a misfortune which did not befal me when I went to see Irving. Whether this unseemly appetite was attributable to the keenuess of the sea-air, the exercise of dancing, or the natural constitutions of my shipmates, (they were determined that I should not have an opportunity of calling them my messmates,) I will not take upon me to decide. Of this, however, I am certain, that a person less travelled than the Peripatetic would probably have lost his dinner, but in this dilemma I had recourse to the clerk of the kitchen, a portly broadfaced personage, whose waist was distended to unconscionable dimensions by the force of good eating, and copious libations of malt liquor. For he assured me, that he never used the deleterious distillations of foreign parts, convinced they did not tend to a wholesome digestion of English roast-beef and plum-pudding, however salutary they might prove to consumers of frogs and fricasees, at the same tiine casting a most contemptuous glance upon a French assistant, employed in compiling some such bonne bouche, and who was as complete a contrast to the cook, as Pistol was to Falstaff. I had to no purpose exhausted all the arguments my ingenuity could invent, to induce this trusty guardian of the pantry to share with me the good things he had reserved for his own use, and was about to retire in despair, when, to my inexpressible astonishment, the little meagre Frenchman began to dance about like one possessed, accompanying himself with a volubility of song commensurate with the rapidity of his steps. The suddenness of the action, the gesticulations of the performer, and the novelty of the thing, altogether, quite confounded me; when, however, I recovered from my surprise, I noticed that every verse concluded with this chorus, "TouJOURS FAIS BOIRE, Monsieur le Cusinier," which I apprehended was an extempore explosion of his own composition, and so suited to the occasion that I took the hint, by proposing a pot of ale, which was no sooner poured upon the crater of the cook's stomach, (which he easily accomplished at a single draught) than the whole man was changed.

He began to express his regret for my disappointment at the general table, but told me if I could content myself in his cabin he would undertake to provide

me a substitute; and, indeed, he was as good as his word, for a better dinner I never partook of; after which I returned to the great cabin to take my wine, where I found a great proportion of the company taking ample revenge on the bottle for the deficiencies of their dinner. The arch glances and smothered laugh of the waiter, induced me to take my seat near the party which evidently afforded him such amusement. It consisted of several city apprentices, who had escaped from the slavery of the counter to make a holiday. A sailor after a cruise-a dog after being emancipated from a week's confinement in his kennel-a pickpocket just liberated from a treadmill; -monkey escaped from his keeper and chattering among his fellows, in his native woods, can give but a faint idea of the freaks of these gentry on a day's pleasure. The presiding genius of the group was an attorney's clerk, whose commands, and the entire conversation of the party, were heard in all parts of the ship.

Champagne would have been the order of the day, but the waiter, an arch fellow, who knew his men, gave them Bucellas, which the limb of law swore was Lafitte's best vintage, for he had drunk it frequently at the caffé de mille

colonnes, at Paris; dilated most eloquently upon the excellence of French wines, French manners, the fascinations of the women, and intimated pretty roundly the conquest he might have made, had it not been for his ignorance of the language. In the midst of this harangue the waiter presented the bill, (these fellows think short accounts make long friends) when, to the dismay and utter discomfiture of the president, the wine was named Bucellas, and charged seven shillings. "This, waiter !" said the clerk, looking as wisely as an owl peeping through an ivy-bush, "this surely is a misnomer." The waiter looked round to notice if all his auditors were of the same opinion; an interchange of looks convinced him to the contrary, and he persisted in the correctness of the item. A general laugh followed, and the president was extinguished. In talking, singing, and drinking, this party contributed to the hilarity of the meeting, until the young gentlemen fell off into their evening siesta. And, by the same time, the second bottle had so operated on myself, that perhaps my description of the remainder would be more spirited than true.

THE PERIPATETIC.

THE most detestable of all humbugs, that of hypocritical piety and saintship, is now, thank God, on the highway to be utterly demolished. Collyer

we dare scarcely befowl our pages with his name-Fletcher has behaved so flagrantly, that even his own party are ashamed of his shameless prevarications, and his blasphemous appeals to the Deity, to witness the uprightness of his conduct -his impudent and daring appeal to God, before his congregation, that he was innocent as a child unborn, of the very guilt he had himself expressly confessed to. The third of our precious saints, is the Rev. Docter Quarry, of Cork, a clergyman, we are grieved to say, of the church of England, who, as chairman of a Bible Society meeting, last week, refused-pointedly refused to allow manifest lies to be contradicted -simply, because it militated against his saintly party. This same holy rector, Dr. Quarry, we ourselves have actually

heard put, from the chair of a similar spouting assembly, a resolution, "That a vote of thanks be given to Almighty God, for his gracious support of the Irish Evangelical Society," and after taking a show of hands on the resolution, declared it was carried!!! Good, pious, and holy men, God save the mark! These fellows are all the while either hunting after famc like Dr. Chalmers; or to get their sins pardoned (cheaply, like the Earl of Roden; or to come in for the loaves and fishes like Burder, Waugh, Owen, Ward, Carey, Collins, (the Glasgow Bibliopole); and all the secretaries, treasurers, &c. of the humbug societies, for ostensibly spreading christianity, but in reality for most sinister and dark jobbery. We have a test in reserve for them, which will bring to light the Achan in the camp, and expose the pious pickings of these devils, saints, as they ought clearly to be called.

W. G. S.