Will. Lapis. What is he, Eva. That is good, William. William, that does lend articles ? Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hac, hoc. Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog: pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your ac cusative case? Will. Accusativo, hinc. Era. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, hog. Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. Eva. Leave you prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William ? Will. O-Vovativo, O. plement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now ? Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet Sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford! what hoa! Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John. [Exit FALSTAFF. Enter Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at home beside yourself? Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people. Mrs. Page. Indeed? Mrs. Ford. No, certainly ;-speak louder. [Aside. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here. Mrs. Ford. Why? Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, Peer out, peer out! † that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of bim? Mrs. Puge. Of one but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband, is is now bere; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will Eva. Remember, William; focative is, caret. be here anon. Eva. 'Oman, forbear. Mrs. Page. Peace. Mrs. Ford. I am undone !-the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then you are utterly shamed, Eva. What is your genitive case plural, Wil- and he's but a dead man. What a woman are liam ? Will. Genitive case? Eva. Ay. Will. Genitive,-horum, haram, horum. Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name her child, if she be a whore. Eva. For shame 'oman. Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call hotum :-tie upon you! Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thon no understandings for thy cases, and the nun.bers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires. Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee hold thy peace. Eta. Show me now, William, some sions of your pronouns. Will. Forsooth, I have forgot. you?-Away with him, away with him; better shame than murder. Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again? Re-enter FALSTAFF. Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: May I not go out, ere he come? Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that noue shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? Ful. What shall I do ?—I'll creep up into the chimney. Mrs. Ford. There they always use to disdeclen-charge their birding-pieces: Creep into the kiln hole. Fal. Where is it? Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: There is no hiding you in the house. Fal. I'll go out then. Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised, Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape. Fat. Good hearts, devise something any extremity, rather than a mischief. Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above. Mrs. Page. On my word it will serve him; • Mad fits. + As children call on a snail to push forth his horas. 1 Short note of. she's as big is he is and there's ber thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: Run up, Sir John. Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: mistress Page and 1, will look some linen for your bead. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight put on the gown the while. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath bad intelligence. Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time. Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford. Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him straight. (Exit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough. We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, Wives may be merry, and yet honest too: We do not act, that often jest and laugh: 'Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. [Exit. Re-enter Mrs. FORD, with two Servants. Mrs. Ford. Go, Sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, des patch. [Exit. 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up. 2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again. 1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS. Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again ?Set down the basket, villain :-Somebody calls my wife You, youth in a basket, come out heve-O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: Now shall the devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching. Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you. Eva. Master Ford, you must pay, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for. Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport: let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife's leman • Satisfy me once more; one more search with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you and the old woman down, my husband will come into the chamber. Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. She Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. works by charms, by speЛs, by the figure, and such daubery as this is: beyond our element : we know nothing.--Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband ;good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, led by Mrs. PAGE. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give me your hand. Ford. I'll prat her :--Out of my door, you witch! [Beats him.] You rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman. Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a goodcredit for you. Page. Why, this passes! Master Ford, you❘ly are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned. Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog! Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed. Enter Mrs. FORD. Ford. Hang her, witch! Era. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler. Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail, † never trust me Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: Come, gentlemen. Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mis-when I open † again. Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, [Pulls the clothes out of the basket. Page. This passes! Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone. Ford. I shall find you anon. [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, SHALLOW, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of woman-kood, and the witness of Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up a good conscience, pursue him with any further your wife's clothes? Come away. revenge? chain Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, | And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served bim ? Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers. Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be pub. licly shamed. Mrs. Page. Come to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter HOST and BARDOLPH. Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be tomorrow at court, and they are going to meet him. Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen ; they speak English? Bard. Ay, Sir; I'll call them to you. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them; they have had my houses a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Cone. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-A Room in FORD's House. Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon. Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant? Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what thou wilt, I rather will suspect the sun with cold, In a most hideous and dreadful manner: The superstitious idle-headed eld⚫ In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak: Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, dress With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth, Mrs. Page. The truth being known, Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy ho- burn the knight with my taber. nour stand, In him that was of late a heretic, Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white. Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside And marry her at Eton.--Go, send to Falstaf straight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook : He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come. properties, And tricking for our fairies. Eva. Let as about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will, her. Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave [Exit. SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter HOST and SIMPLE. Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap. Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender. Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian* unto thee: Knock, I say. Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed. Host. Ha a fat woman! the knight may be robbed I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. Fal. [above.] How now, mine host? Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy ? fye! Enter FALSTAFF. Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone, Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wise of Brentford ? Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; would you with her? woman What Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Sleuder of his chain, cozened him of it. Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Sim. I may not conceal them, Sir. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Sim. What, Sir? Fal. To have her,-or no: Go; say, the man told me so. from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three doctor Faustuses. Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine bost? Host. What is the matter, Sir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me there is three couzin germaus, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you well. Enter Doctor CAIUS. [Exit. Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat; but it is tell a me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adien. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist ine, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt HOST and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since 1 forswore myself at Primero.⚫ Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY. Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? wo-I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. SCENE VI-Another Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FENTON and HoST. Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is beavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my purpose, A game at cards And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Hath a great scene: the image of the jest. host: To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one, Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; Her mother, even strong against that match, rests: Her father means she shall be all in white; The better to denote her to the doctor, With ribbands pendaut, flaring 'bout her head; Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY. Enter FORD. How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed? same Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That kuave, Ford the her husband, hath finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell you.-He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your band.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master Brook! follow. [Exeunt. Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. FORD, and Dr. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must g together. Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adien. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, Sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break. Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh? Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at the the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night. Mrs. Ford That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Puge. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked. Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and thei: lechery, Those that betray him do no treachery. In the letter. + Fantastically. Keep to the time. 32. • Watch-word. -52 |
