conclude, that the Lord was about to answer my prayer sure enough, and chain up my mouth in silence. It seemed as if the enemy surrounded me with all his forces; my mind was immediately thrown into confusion, and almost into distraction. I ceased speaking and sat down without telling the audience the occasion of it. No one can tell, neither can I express how I then felt. What made me feel the worse, was, there were two judges present who were occasionally in the town; they loomed up before me like mountains !When the meeting ended I withdrew from the house and returned home. I strove as much as possible to shun all company, for I neither wanted to speak with or see any person. After I got home, my father asked me the occasion of my not finishing my sermon; for, said he, I thought you had laid your work out very well. I made him little or no answer, but left the house and retired to the woods, with a strong temptation never to return again. For I thought I had rather be banished, or buried under the base of the most huge mountain, than ever be seen again upon earth. I travelled a mile or two, till I came to a river, where I stood and looked into the water for some time; and thought it would be a good time to put an end to my life. But the following words immediately occurred to my mind, "no nurderer hath eternal life abiding in him." I obtained strength from the Lord to withdraw from the river. My next conclusion was, to stay in the woods till I died. I continued wandering about till near dark; and after looking the matter over and over, and putting up many prayers to God, I felt some more composed in my mind; and concluded that it might be possible that I had done wrong, and had tempted the Lord by asking of him a sign. After many solitary hours in prayers and tears, I mustered all the resolution, faith and hope I could, and returned home. But as to my preaching again, I concluded the matter was decided. Yet there was one difficulty in the way, which I knew not how to surmount. I had a meeting appointed in another town the next Sabbath, which I must of necessity attend, or forfeit my word; and that I could not bear to do. I passed the week in deep waters, till the Sabbath came. I went on to my appointment but felt an unusual gloom and a great depression of spirit. I tho't I would tell the people I was not called to preach, and that I should never try to again. After the people assembled I began to look round upon them, and souls began to look precious; and almost before I was aware I arose upon my feet and began to preach to them. The love and power of God was manifested in a blessed manner. From this I took encouragement to resist the tempter; he fled from me; and my mind, in a good measure was relieved. So I continued as usual in my feeble manner to blow the trumpet in Zion. About this time a general solemnity began to gather on the minds of the people; and there seemed to be a sound of abundance of rain; while a few mercy drops fell. But the main cloud of blessing passed over, and did not return till about twelve months afterwards. I now began to be convinced by my feelings, that my work was done for the present in that region, and that I must go and preach the gospel of the kingdom to other cities also. Trying as it was to my nature; being convinced that the time was come when I must leave all my natural friends, and journey into the western climes; I began to talk about it in earnest, and to make preparations for the journey. Yet I could not persuade my friends to be reconciled to it, nor yet to believe that I should go, until a day or two before I sat out. They all prophesied evil concerning me; they said it must be a delusion of the enemy. For if I was called to preach, I could as well preach in my native land as any where else; and, they thought, much better. Besides, they conjectured for me to travel so far into a different climate must be very prejudicial to my health, even if I lived; but they thought most likely that I should die, and lay my bones in one of those western climes. I told them that NINEVAH was the place where God sent Jonah; and the western country was the place where he was about to send me; and if I did not go, the sea would be more boisterous than ever it had been. Sabbath, 12th of November, I preached my farewell sermon in Billymead, and truly, it was with the assembly, as well as with myself, a solemn, weeping time. Thus I closed my testimony in the town for that time--Nov. 14, 1809, I sat out on my journey. But O! I cannot express the feelings of my heart, whilst giving the parting hand, and leaving my ever respected parents behind; thinking it very unlikely that I should ever see them again beneath the sun. My beloved brothers and sisters I must also leave, though dear to me. The friendly visits, the inestimable privileges we have enjoyed together, thought I, must now be at an end. And I said, "O, must I now leave, must I now be separated from all my natural connexions in life? Yes, I am constrained so to do; the worth of souls lays upon me, I cannot rest. I must bid farewell to my kind parents and their home; take my life into my hand, and go forth into the wilderness world and pay the Lord my vows." When I gave the parting hand to my honored father, and he saw that I was going in reality, his language to me was like that of Jacob to his sons; he said, "well, if you must go; God Almighty go with you. I left the house and hastened to the door, that I might find a place to weep; and then mounted my horse and sat out on my journey. As I passed through the street I secretly said, Farewell! farewell! farewell, ye northern climes! I stayed that night with Judge Fiske, in Lyndon. Next morning I started for Woodstock, (V1); but on account of its being stormy and uncomfortable weather, I travelled but a few miles in a day. I however the next Sabbath, got to Hartford, and attended a meeting in the evening. Monday I crossed White River, and attended a funeral in the other part of the town; bad a very solemn time. After meeting I went down to Woodstock, where I had previously agreed to meet brother Putnam, a young preacher who had promised to travel with me into the western country. But when I came to the place, I found he had gone on to Windsor. I then pursued and overtook him and felt exceedingly joyful at meeting my beloved brother; a man whom I had highly esteemed, and with whom I had enjoyed many happy hours in the worship of God. I anticipated we should have a great deal of happiness together, on our contemplated long journey. But alas! my anticipated happiness was soon blasted. We attended meeting that evening at Windsor, and the lot fell on me to preach. I was led to direct my discourse chiefly to the young people. The hearers of all classes appeared solemn, and heard the word with candour. I continued in that place through the week, attended three meetings in Windsor; two in Hartland; visited a number of families, and received great satisfaction therein. On the sabbath, we attended at Windsor. Brother P. preached in the forenoon; and I discovered something in his preaching, which gave me very disagreeable feelings, although I believed him to be sincere in what he preached. The particular sentiment, he advanced was, that the wicked would be burned up, and cease to exist, at, or immediately after the day of judgement. This appeared so different from what I had read in the scriptures respecting the eternal state of the wicked,. namely, that such are in danger of eternal damnation, Mark iii. 29;-that "these shall go awy into everlast ing punishment," Matt. xxv. 46;-that "their worm dieth not and the fire is not quenched," Mark ix. 44, 46, and 48;-"suffering the vengeance of eternal fire," Jude 7th verse-that "the smoke of their torment ascendeth up forever and ever," Rev. xiv. 11-These, with many other passages which occurred to my recollection, forbade my uniting with my brother P. in the support of his new and inconsistent doctrine. I therefore preached in the afternoon from Prov. 12, "If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise tor thyself; but if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it." I told the wicked, if they were so senseless of their own happines, and of their duty to their Maker, as to live in sin, wickedness and folly, in this world; they might expect condemnation, horror and suf fering, would be intolerable in the next. In the evening, I attended a meeting in another part of the town. Monday, Nov. 27th, I left Windsor, went to Weathersfield, and attended a meeting with brother P. In the evening, a goodly number came out and heard attentively. The next day we went to Springfield (Vt.), met two Elders, one resided in the place, the other was from New-Hampshire. And as brother P. had pretty much given up the idea of going on to the western country with me, the two Elders, before meutioned, gave it as their opinion, that it would be for the honor and glory of God, and greatly to my advantage, as I was going so long a journey alone, to be ordained before I proceeded any further. They also said, they believed it their duty, from the Lord, to separate me to the work, whereunto the Lord had called me. I had great trials on my mind with respect to the matter. And at first objected against their proposal, for three reasons. 1. Because I was absent from home. 2. I was afraid of running too fast. 3. I was too young. They took up these objections, and concluded that neither of them ought to bear with any weight. They considered me to be in |