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obliged me to come to a decision; and, lastly, I felt that it was my duty to abandon the prospect of making myself independent, even though I should be obliged to throw myself on the Board for support and means of instruction; but from this alternative I was, in some measure, relieved by Edward's voluntary assurance, that, as long as he could aid in my support, I never should have to look to a stranger. Then arose the question in my miud," Am I qualified, and have I the needful grace, zeal, self-devotedness, self-denial, personal piety, purity of heart, humility of spirit, persevering effort, trust in God, love to the Saviour, and desire for his glory; in short, all the fruits of the Spirit which should adorn the Christian and messenger of the cross ?"—and,-"Am I influenced by proper motives?" was a question which must naturally occur to every person who seriously reflects on the subject. Is it from a simple desire to glorify God, and convert sinners to Jesus Christ, that I desire to become a missionary? or, is it from a desire to be exalted in the eyes of Christians, or, as a kind of penance, thereby hoping to gain a title to heaven? Mother, these are very solemn questions, and must be answered with fervent prayer to God, that he would give me wisdom to be faithful, and the light of his Holy Spirit to understand my own heart. For to-night, farewell! May the love of Jesus dwell richly in all our hearts, in time and in eternity.
1st May.-Beloved Mother,-This is Sabbath evening, and, I believe, the first time ever I sat down to write home on Sunday; but I thought that the subject on which I have been writing is so holy, that it would not be violating the sanctity of God's holy day to resume it, especially as this is the only opportunity I can have by this packet; and I am now quietly seated in my little bed-room, in my rew residence, after having returned from the "Young People's" Prayer-Meeting, held at our Church every Sabbath evening before service; and where, for the first time, I stood up to address a few words to the meeting, (which was small,) as almost every young man who attends has no hesitation in doing so. We read a chapter, and each generally selects some verse which strikes him. This being our Communion Sabbath, the sentence in the story of the Prodigal Son, "bread enough, and to spare," struck me forcibly. Oh! mother, shall we be made stewards of the "bread of life," and not dispense it to those who are per
ishing for lack of knowledge. What would the world think of our love to Christ, when we refuse, for the sake of ease and enjoyment, to carry the news of salvation to those who, we know, are in the deepest, most awful darkness ? Would this be counting all but loss for Christ,would this be giving to the enemies of the Gospel, or to ourselves, satisfactory evidence that our love to the Saviour is sincere, and not a mere empty profession which we can adopt so long as it accords with our own gratification and worldly interest, but which must be abandoned when it requires any sacrifice-any self-denial? Was this the spirit which actuated Paul, which influenced Calvin, which was in the heart of a Carey, or a Morrison? Surely not. Oh, no: they sought to shew their gratitude to that Saviour who had bought them with His own precious blood, by spending and being spent in His service.
But now, Mother, I will endeavour to give a faithful answer to the questions I have proposed to myself, which are very solemn and important; and, after all, I may be deceiving myself, and resting under a delusion. I fear I may judge too partially of myself-for "the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked;"—but I earnestly pray the Holy Spirit to guide me to understand my own heart aright, to enable me to deal faithfully with myself, as in the sight of that God, before whom I must render an account at the last day. I should feel utterly unable to give an answer to these questions, did I not believe, that if we wait patiently on the Lord, He will direct our paths, and feel a sweet peace of mind in simply trusting to Him, who is infinite in knowledge, and "knoweth the end from the beginning." "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him." “Am I qualified ?" This question embraces every thing requisite; but I put it in the sense of acquired knowledge. Now, I know that I have not received an education, (or rather have not so improved the instruction I did receive,) which would qualify me for the discharge of those duties which devolve on a minister of the Gospel, whether at home or abroad; but, although I am gifted with a small portion of natural talent, (which sometimes almost discourages me,) still I trust that, by persevering exertion and study, entering College next year, I would, (if it be
God's will to spare me,) be duly qualified, (as far as classical and theological knowledge is concerned,) to go as a Missionary, in six years, or perhaps seven,-for "my grace is sufficient for you."
"Have I the needful grace ?" If by this is meant the indwelling of the Spirit of God in my heart, purity in thought, word, and deed, a hatred of sin, and love of holiness, a heart dead to the world, quickened by grace, and bringing forth "the fruits of the Spirit," then indeed I find that the Spirit must dwell more richly in me; that my heart must be more pure in thought, word, and deed, not so unholy in desire, not so foolish and vain in speech, not so ready to catch at the failings of others, and be so blind to my own; that I must abhor iniquity more, mourn more over my sins, and love God's holy law and will more; that my heart must be more insensible to earthly joys and affections, and be more fruitful in the graces of the Spirit, ere I can be a Missionary. But I feel as though the Spirit of God had commenced a good work in my heart, and will perfect it-for " my grace is sufficient for you."
"Zeal."-I feel anxious to promote the glory of God and the spread of the Gospel; but in this I know I am mournfully deficient, and require to have my heart touched with a "living coal,”—but " my grace is sufficient for you."
"Self-devotedness and self-denial."-I fear that I can scarcely, with faithfulness, answer this question, as I have never been called on to make a decision in any important case that I recollect, although in trifling matters I have been enabled to practise more self-denial than formerly, still I come far short of my duty,-Oh, how far,-but 66 my grace is sufficient for you."
"Personal Piety."-Here I am so humbled, with a deep sense of my deficiency and unworthiness, that I joyfully read, "by grace ye are saved, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God," and hear with a thankful heart-" my grace is sufficient for you."
Humility of spirit."-Oh, I must be more deeply humbled with a sense of my own utter unworthiness, and learn with the dying martyr to exclaim, "None but Christ -none but Christ." But I adore the mercy of God which has brought me to derive my comfort, consolation, and hope, only from the cross of Christ,-to rejoice in the promise-"my grace is sufficient for you.”
"Persevering effort."-I scarce know what reply to give to this, for I have had so little experience, but would almost sit down, overwhelmed with the prospect of all the difficulties a Missionary must encounter, and trials he must endure, were it not that" my grace is sufficient for you."
"Trust in God."-I have been led much of late to look to my heavenly Father for direction at all times, but more especially when the path of duty appeared perplexing, and I felt my complete dependence on His wisdom to guide me; and I can only pray, that I may at all times, and under every circumstance, put my whole trust, and confide entirely in Him; for He has said, "my grace is sufficient for you."
"Love to the Saviour, and desire for his glory.”—At times I feel my heart cold and dead, and am almost inclined to think I must be deceiving my own heart when I think I have any interest in Christ, or have ever really loved Him; and again, I feel as though I could make every sacrifice for the sake of Jesus, and that I might honour His name before men; but though doubting, fearing, and sometimes in darkness, all is well when "my grace is sufficient for you."
And now the question-"Am I influenced by proper motives ?" To this I would simply answer:-It is a desire to glorify God, to honour my Saviour, to be the means of saving the perishing Heathen, and of proclaiming salvation to dying men, that make me desire to become a Missionary. I may be influenced by other considerations; but as far as I understand my own heart, those are the preponderating motives. But I do sometimes feel that I am in a degree influenced by a desire to raise myself in the estimation of those I love. Oh! my wicked, sinful heart: when will it be filled with the Spirit of Jesus, and be wholly His? Holy Spirit, dwell within me.
Dr. Cooke Answered, with a Word by the Way for the Incomparable Chalmers. By THOMAS DIXON, Esq. Dublin: W. Warren. p.p. 122.
We do not altogether dislike controversy when it is conducted in a spirit of Christian meekness and charity ; but too often is truth, the great object of all discussion, overlooked, and the energies of the disputants directed solely to the achievement of a party triumph. It is often necessary for the Christian to enter the field of controversy, and even to "contend earnestly" for the precious truths of the Gospel; and he may be lawfully filled with a holy indig. nation when he perceives" the faith once delivered to the saints" derided and perverted by the craft and cunning of ungodly men. Yet ought he to be ever careful that the "weapons," by which he would defend his cause," are not carnal," and that the purity of the faith, and the triumph of truth, be the objects continually kept in view. We are beginning to be wearied of the Voluntary controversy. We fondly trust that it has passed the meridian of its heat and fiery contention, and that, in its farther progress, the excitement will subside, and the violent zeal of advocacy, and the vituperative spirit of partizanship, will give place to the calm dictates of reason, and the cool decisions of judgment.
We have been led to make these remarks, from reading Mr. Dixon's work, the title of which is prefixed to this article. We have no doubt that he is a man of talent, but we question much his prudence and modesty. The work is elaborate, but inconclusive. He has promised much, but really performed little. He has come into the field, armed for combat, and he seems
"No raw and timid youth untrained to war,
We will begin with the title-page, and truly it is most attractive, and full of promise. "Dr. Cooke answered." Excellent! Nothing more desirable! Every Voluntary, from the Cove of Cork to Island.Magee, and from the Mull of Galloway to Cape Wrath, will snatch the intelligence with avidity. Throughout the length and breadth