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out of fashion,' make very pretty mufic from a beautiful face and a female tongue: but from a rough manly voice and coarte feature, mere nonfenfe is as harth and diffonant as a jig from an Hurdy Gurdy. The Swearers I have fpoken of in a former paper; but the Half-Swearers, who split, and mince, and fritter their oaths into gad's bud, ad's fifb and demmee; the Gothic Humbuggers, and thote who nick-name • God's creatures,' and call a man a cabbage, a crab, a queer cub, an odd fish, and an unaccountable muskin, fhould never come into company winout an interpreter. But I will not tire my reader's patience by pointing out all the pefts of converfation; nor dwell particularly on the Senfibles, who pronounce doginatically on the moft trivial points, and speak in fentences ; the Wonderers, who are always wondering what o'clock it is, or wondering whether it will rain or no, or wondering when the moon changes; the Phraseologifts, who explain a thing by all that, or enter into particulars with this and that and t'other; and laftly, the Silent Men, who feem afraid of opening their mouths, left they fhould catch cold; and literally obferve the precept of the Gospel, by letting their converfation be only yea yea, and nay nay.

The rational intercourfe kept up by conversation, is one of our principal, diftinctions from brutes. We should therefore endeavour to turn this peculiar talent to our advantage, and confider the organs of fpeech as the inftruments of understanding: we should be very careful not to ule them as the weapons of vice, or tools of folly, and do our ut moft to unlearn any trivial or ridiculous habits, which tend to leffen the value of fuch an inestimable prerogative. It is, indeed, imagined by fome philofophers, that even birds and beasts (though

without the power of articulation) per- ́ fectly understand one another by the founds they utter; and that dogs, cats, &c. have each a particular language to themselves, like different nations. Thus it may be fuppofed, that the nightingals of Italy have as fine an ear for their own native wood-notes, as any Signor or Signora for an Italian Air; that the boars of Weftphalia gruntle as expreffively through the nofe, as the inhabitants in High German; and that the frogs in the dykes of Holiand croak as intelligibly, as the natives jabber their Low Dutch. However this may be, we may confider thofe, whofe tongues hard. ly feem to be under the influence of reafon, and do not keep up the proper converfation of human creatures, as imitat ing the language of different animals. Thus, for instance, the affinity between Chatterers and Monkeys, and Praters and Parrots, is too obvious not to occur at once: Grunters and Growlers may be justly compared to Hogs: Snarlers are Curs; and the Spitfire Paffionate are a fort of wild Cats, that will not bear ftroaking, but will purr when they are pleated. Complainers are Screech-owls; and Story-tellers, always repeating the fame duil note, are Cuckows. Paets, that prick up their ears at their own hideous braying, are no better than Affes: Critics in general are venomous Serpents, that delight in hiffing; and fonie of them, who have got by heart a few technical terms without knowing their meaning, are no other than Magpies. I myself, who have crowed to the whole town for near three years paft, may perhaps put my readers in mind of a Dunghill Cock: but as I muft acquaint them, that they will hear the laft of me on this day fortnight, I hope they will then confider me as a Swan, who is fuppofed to fing fweetly at his dying moments.

W

NS

N° CXXXIX. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 1756.

-SUME SUPERBIAM QUESITAM MERITIS.

HOR.

NOW TO THE UTMOST ALL YOUR LABOURS CHARGE,
AND SHEW YOUR MIGHTY CONSEQUENCE AT LARGE.

I Wrote to my coufn village, inform, ing him of my defign to finish with the next number; and have received the following anfwer from him, which I fhall lay before my readers.

DEAR COUSIN,

IT

was not without fome regret, that I received advice of your intentions to bid adieu to the public: for, as you had been fo kind as to introduce me to their notice, I began to indulge all the weaknefs and vanity of a young author; and had almoft perfuaded myself, that I was the principal fupport of your papers. Conícious of my own importance, I expect that you will do me the juftice to acknowledge, how much you are in debted to the affiftance of your very ingenious Coufin; and I care not how many compliments you pay me on my wit and learning; but at the fame time I muft beg leave to put in a caveat against your difpofing of me in what manner you yourself please. Writers of effays think themselves at liberty to do what they will with the characters they have in troduced into their works; as writers of tragedy, in order to heighten the plot, have often brought their heroes to an untimely end, when they have died quietly many years before in their beds; or as our chronicles of daily occurrences put a duke to death, give away an heirefs in marriage, or fhoot off an admiral's leg, whenever they please. Mr. Ad. difon, while he was carrying on the Spectator, faid, he would kill Sir Roger de Coverley, that nobody else ⚫ might murder him.' In like manner, my dear Coufin, you may perhaps take it into your head to cut me off: you may make an end of me by a cold caught in partridge hooting, or break my neck in a ftag-hunt. Or you may rather chuse to settle me perhaps with a rich old country dowager, or prefs me into the army, or clap me on board of a man of war. But I defire that you will not get

rid of me by any of these means; but permit me to affure your readers, that I am alive and merry; and this is to let them know that I am in good health at this prefent writing.

Your papers, I affure you, have made a great noife in the country, and the most intelligent among us read you with as much fatisfaction as the Evening Poft, or the Weekly Journals. I know more than one fquire, who takes them in conftantly with the Magazines; and I was told by the poft master of a certain town, that they came down every week, under cover, to the butler of a member of parliament. There is a club of country parfons, who meet every Saturday at a neighbouring market-town, to be shaved and exchange fermons : they have a fubfcription for books and pamphlets; and the only periodical works ordered in by them are the Connoiffeur, and the Cri tical and Monthly Reviews. I was lately introduced to this fociety, when the converfation happened to turn upon Mr. Town. A young curate, just come from Oxford, faid he knew you very well at Chrift Church, and that you was a comical dog: but a Cantab. declared, no lefs pofitively, that you was either a penfioner of Trinity, or a fellow of Bennet College. Feople, indeed, are very much perplexed about the real author: fome affirm, that you are a nobleman; and others will have it, that you are an actor: fome fav you are a young lawyer, fome a phyfician, fome a parfon, and fome an old woman.

The fubjects of your papers have of ten been wrested to various interpretations by our penetrating geniuses; and you have hardly drawn a character, that has not been fixed on one or other of the greatest perfonages in the nation. I once heard a country justice express his wonder, that you was not taken up, and fet on the piliory; and I myself, by fome of my rural intelligence, have brought upon you the refentment of fe2 Q2

veral

veral honeft fquires, who long to horfewhip the fcoundrel for putting them in print. Others again are quite at a lofs how to pick out your meaning, and in vain turn over their Bailey's dictionary for an explanation of feveral fashionable phrafes; which, though they have enriched the town language, have not yet made their way into the dialect of the country. Many exquisite strokes of humour are alfo loft upon us, on account of our diftance from the fcene of action; and that wit, which is very brifk and lively upon the fpot, often lofes much of it's fpirit in the carriage, and fometimes wholly evaporates in the post-bag.

You moralifts are very apt to flatter yourfelves, that you are doing a vaft deal of good by your labours: but whatever reformation you may have worked in town, give me leave to tell you, that you have fometimes done us harm in the country, by the bare mention of the vices and follies now in vogue. From your intelligence, fome of our most polite ladies have learned, that it is highly genteel to have a route; and fome have copied the fashion fo exactly, as to play at cards on Sundays. Your papers upon drefs fet all our belles to work in following the mole: you no fooner took notice of the cocked hats, but every hat in the parish was turned up behind and before; and when you told us, that the town beauties went naked, our rural dam els immediately began to throw off their cloaths. Our gentlemen have been alfo taught by you all the new arts of betting and gaming: and the only coffee-house in one little town, where the mot topping inhabitants are used to meer to pay at draughts and backgammon, has, from the great increafe of gamefters who refort to it, been ele gantly chriftened by the name of White's.

As to the fall fhare which I myfelf have had in your work, you may be fure every body here is hugely delighted with it; at least you may be fure, that I will fay nothing to the contrary. I have done my belt to contribute to the entertainment of your reades: and, as the name of Steele is not forgotten in the Speater, though Additon has run away with almost all the honour, I am in hopes, that whenever the great Mr. Town is mentioned, they may poffibly think at the fame time on your affectionate Coufin and Coadjutor,

VILLAGE,

After this account, which my Coufin has fent me, of the reception I have met with in the country, it will be proper to fay fomething of my reception here in town. I fhall therefore confider mvfelf in the threefold capacity of Connoiffeur, Critic, and Cenfor General. As a Connoiffeur, in the corfined sense of the word, I must own I have met with feveral mortifications. I have neither been made F. R. S. nor even a member of the Academy of Bourdeaux or Peterburgh. They have left me out of the list of Trustees to the British Mufæum; and his Majesty of Naples, though he prefented an Account of the Curiofities

found in Herculaneum' to each of the universities, never fent one to me. I have not been celebrated in the Philofophical Tranfactions, or in any of our Magazines of Arts and Sciences; nor have I been filed très-illufire or très fcavant in any of the foreign Mercuries or Journals Literaires. Once, indeed, I foothed myself in the vain thoughts of having been diftinguished by the great Swedith Botanitt, Linnæus, under the title of Eruditiffimus Urbanus, which I conceived to be the name of Town la

tinized, but, to my great difappointment, I afterwards difcovered, that this was no other than the learned naturalift, Mr. Sylvanus Urban, author of the Gentleman's Magazine. This neglec of me, as a Connoiffeur, I can attribute to no other caufe, than to my not having made myself known by my Mufæum, or Cabinet of Curiofities: and, to fay the truth, I am not worth a farthing in antique coins; nor have I fo much as one ingle fhell or butterfly. All my complaints against the modern innovations of Tafle have been therefore dificgarded: and with concern I ftill fee the Villas of our citizens fantaftically adorned with Chinese palings, and our streets incumbered with fuperb colonades, porticos, Gothic arches, and Venetian windows, the ordinary decorations of the fhops of our tradefmen.

Nor have I, as a Critic, met with greater fuccefs or encouragement, in my endeavours to reform the prefent Tafte in literature. I expected to have the privilege of eating beef gratis every night at Vauxhall, for advising the gar de poets to put a little meaning into their forgs: but, though I was there feveral nights this fummer, I could not fry (with Caffio) of any of their productions, this is a more exquifite fong

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than the other. I have not been able to write the operas out of the kingdom: and, though I have more than once fhewed my contempt for Harlequin, I am affured there are no lefs than three Pantomimes to be brought on this feafon. As I invested myself with the dignity of fupreme judge in theatrical matters, I was in hopes that my Lord Chamberlain would at least have appointed me his Deputy-licenfer; but he has not even confulted me on any one new play. I made no doubt but the managers would pay their court to me: but they have not once fent for me to dinner; and, fo far from having the freedom of the house, I declare I have not had fo much as a single order from any of the under-actors.

In my office of Cenfor General, though I cannot boast of having overturned the card tables at routes and af

femblies, or broke up tlie club at Arthur's, I can fafely boat, that I have routed the many-headed monfter at the Difputant Society at the Robin Hood, and put to filence the great Clare Market Orator. In a word, I have laboured to prevent the growth of vice and immorality; and with as much effect as the Juftices at the Quarter-feffions. For this reafon I expected to have been put in the commiffion, and to have had the power of licenfing all places of public diverfion vefted folely in my hands. But as I find my merits have been hitherto over looked, I am determined to lay down my office; and in my next number I fhall take my final leave of the public; when I thall give them an account of my correfpondents, together with a full and particular account of MYSELF.

T

N° CXL. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1756.

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SURE IN THE SELF-SAME MOULD THEIR MINDS WERE CAST,
TWINS IN AFFECTION, JUDGMENT, HUMOUR, TASTE.

tail their fenfe or nonfenfe to the world sheet by sheet, acquire a fort of familiarity and intimacy with the public, peculiar to themfelves. Had thefe four volumes, which have fwelled by degrees to their prefent bulk, but forth at once, Mr. Town must have introduced himself to the acquaintance of the public with the aukward air and diftance of a stranger: but he now flatters himself, that they will look upon him as an old companion, whofe converfation they are pleafed with; and, as they will fee him no more after this time, will now and then perhaps mifs their ufual visitor.

However this may be, the Authors of the Connoiffeur now think proper to clofe the undertaking in which they have been engaged for near three years pat: and among their general thanks to the indulgent readers of their papers, they must include in a particular manxer their acknowledgments to thofe,

who have been pleafed to appear in them as writers. They have, therefore, at the clofe of their work, brought Mr. Town and his affociates on the fcene together, like the dramatis perfonæ at the end of the laft act.

Our earliest and most frequent correfpondent diftinguished his favours by the fignatures G. K. and we are forry that he will not allow us to mention his name; since it would reflect as much credit on our work, as we are fore wild redound to it from his contributions. To him we are proud to own ourselves indebted for most part of N° XIV. and xvII; for the Letter, figned Goliah English, in N° XIX; for a great part of N° xXXIII. and XL; and for the Letters, figned Reginald Fitzworm, Michael Krawbidge, Mofes Orthodox, and Thom. Vainall, in No CII. CVII. CXII. and CXXIX.

The next, in priority of time, is a gentleman of Cambridge, who figned himself A. B, and we cannot but regret

tpa

that he withdrew his affiftance, after having obliged us with the best part of the Letters in N° XLVI. XLIX. and LII. and of the Essays in No LXI. and

LXIV.

The Letters in N° LXXXII. XCVIII. CXII. and cxxx. came from various hands, equally unknown to us. The Imitation of Horace, in N° XI. was written (as we are informed) by a gen. tleman of Oxford: and from two gentlemen of Cambridge we received the Letter, figned W. Manly, in N° LXV. and another, figned B. A. in N° cVII. Thefe unexpected marks of favour, conferred on us by ftrangers, demand our higheft gratitude; but we are no lefs happy in being able to boast the affiftance of fome other gentlemen, whom we are proud to call friends, though we are not at liberty to introduce them to the acquaintance of our readers. From a friend engaged in the Law, we had the first sketches and most ftriking paffages of N° LXXV. LXXVIII. LXXXVII. and CIV. though it may be regretted by the public, as well as ourfelves, that his leifure would not permit him to put the finishing hand to them. From a friend, a gentleman of the Temple, we received N° cxI. CXV. and CXIX. To a friend, a member of Trinity College, Cambridge, we are indebted for the Song in N° LXXII. and the Verfes in N° LXVII. Xc. cxxv. and cxxxv. The lift of contributions from fuch capable friends would doubtlefs have been much larger, had they been fooner let into the fecret: but as Mr. Town, like a great prince, chofe to appear incog. in order to avoid the impertinence of the multitude, he did not even make himself known to thofe about his perfon, till at last they themselves found him out through his difguife.

There are still remaining two correfpondents, who must stand by themfelves; as they have wrote to us, not in an affumed character, but in propria perfona. The firit is no lefs a perfonage than the great Orator Henley, who obliged us with that truly original Letter, printed in N° xxxvII. The other, who favoured us with a Le ter no less original, in N° LXX. we have reafon to believe, is a Methodist Teacher and a mechanic; but we do not know either his name or his trade.

difcovery of Ourselves, and to answer the often-repeated question of- Who is Mr. Town?' it being the custom for the periodical writers, at the same time that they fend the hawkers abroad with their Jaft dying fpeech like the malefactors, like them alfo to couple it with a confeffion. The general method of unravelling this mystery is by declaring, to whom the different fignatures, affixed to different papers, are appropriated. For ever fince the days of the inimitable Spectator, it has been usual for a bold Capital to ftand like a fentry, at the end of our effays, to guard the author in fecrecy and it is commonly fuppofed, that the writer, who does not chufe to put his name to his work, has in this manner, like the painters and statuaries of old, at leaft fet his mark. But the Authors of the Connoiffeur now confefs, that the feveral letters, at first pitched upon to bring up the rear of their essays, have been annexed to different papers, at random, and sometimes omitted, on purpose to put the fagacious reader on a wrong fcent. It is particularly the intereft of a writer, who prints himself out week by week, to remain unknown, during the course of this piece-nieal publication. The best method, therefore, to prevent a difcovery, is to make the road to it as intricate as poffible; and, instead of seeming to aim at keeping the reader entirely in the dark, to hang out a kind of wandering light, which only ferves to lead him aftray. The defire of giving each writer his due, according to the fignatures, has, in the course of this undertaking, often confused the curious in their enquiries. Soon after the publication of our first papers, fome ingenious gentlemen found out, that T, 0, W, N, being the letters that formed the name of TOWN, there were four authors, each of whom sheltered himself under a particular letter; but no paper ever appearing with an N affixed to it, they were obliged to give up this notion. But, if they had been more able decypherers, they would have made out, that though T, O, W, will not compofe the name of TOWN, yet, by a different arrangement of the letters, it will form the word TWO: which is the grand mystery of our fignatures, and couches under it the true and real number of the Authors of the Connoif

We now come to the most important feus.

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