happiness has been centered in the orchettra, and it has been her whole pride to be thought a Connoiffeur in music. If there is an opera, oratorio, or concert, to be performed within the bills of mortality, I do not believe that the iches of the Indies could prevail on her to be abfent. Two, and only two, good confequences flow from this madnefs; and thofe are, that the conftantly attends St. James's Chapel, for the fake of the anthem and the reft of the mufic: and, out of the many pounds idly fquandered in minims and femi-quavers, fome few are dedicated to charities, which are promoted by mutical performances.

But what makes this rage after catgut more irkfome and intolerable to me is, that I have not myself the leaft idea of what they call Taite, and it almost drives me mad to be pestered with it. I am a plain man, and have not the leaft fpice of a Connoiffeur in my compofition; yet nothing will fatisfy my wife, unless I appear as fond of fuch nonfenfe as herself. About a month ago fhe prevailed on me to attend her to the Opera, where every dying fall made her expire, as well as Lady Townly. She was ravished with one air, in extafies at another, applauded Ricciarelli, encored Mingotti, and, in short, acted like an abfolute madwoman; while the performance, and her behaviour, had a quite different effect upon me, who fat dumb with corfusion, moit mufical, most melancholy," at her elbow. When we came home again, the feemed as happy as harmony could make her; but I muft own, that I was all discord, and moft heartily vexed at being made a fool in public. Weil, my dear, faid fhe, how do you like the Opera? Zounds, Madam, I would as foon be dragged through an horfepond, as to go to an opera with you again. O fie, but you must be delighted with The Mingotti. The Mingotti! The Devil.'-' Well, Lam Torry for it, Sir Aaron, but I find you have no Ear. Ear, Madam? I had rather cut off my ears, than fuffer them to make me an ideot.* To this the made no reply, but began a favourite opera tune, and, after taking a tour round the room, like one of the fingers, left me alone.

If my wife could be fatisfied, like other mufical ladies, with attending public performances, and now and then

thrumming on her harpsichord the tunes the hears there, I fhould be content: but the has alfo a concert of her own conftantly once a week. Here the is in ftill greater raptures than at the opera, as all the mufic is chofen and appointed by herfelf. The expence of this whim is monitrous; for not one of these people will open their mouths, or rofin a single ftring, without being very well paid for it. Then the must have all the beft hands and voices; and has almoft as large a fet of performers in pay as the manager of the opera. It puts me quite out of patience to fee thefe fellows ftrutting about my houfe, dreft up like lords and gentlemen. Not a fingle fiddler, or finger, but what appears in lace or embroidery; and I once mistook my wife's chief musician for a foreign ambassador. It is impoffible to recount the numberlefs follies, to which this ridiculous pathon for mufic expofes her. Her devotion to the art makes her almost adore the profeffors of it. A musician is a greater man in her eye than a duke; and he would fooner oblige an operafinger than a countefs. She is as bufy in promoting their benefits, as if the was to have the receipts of the house; and. quarrels with all her acquaintance who will not permit her to load them with tickets. Every fiddler in town makes it his bufinets to fcrape an acquaintance with her; and an Italian is no fooner imported, than he becomes a part of my wife's band of performers. In the late Opera disputes, the has been a moft furious partizan; and it is impoffible for any patriot to feel more anxiety for the danger of Blakeney and Minorca, than he has fuffered on account of the Opera, and the lofs of Mingotti.

I do not believe ny wife has a fingle idea except recitative, airs, countertenor, thorough-bafs, &c. which are perpetually finging in her head. When we at together, instead of joining in any agreeable converfation, the is always either humming a tune, or difcourfing

moft eloquent mufic." Nature has denied her a voice; but as Italy has given her Tafte and a graceful manner, the is continually fqueaking out trains, lefs melodious than the harmony of balladfinging in our freets, or plaim-finging in a country-church. To make her till more ridiculous, the learns to play on that mafculine instrument the bats-voil

the

I have been told of a certain prelate, who brought his chaplains to fuch a degree of fervility, that after every deal at whift, they would ask him what he would chufe to have for trumps next deal? I keep my fellows in equal good order. They all think me a clofe old hunks; and, imagining that winning their money will put me in good humour with them, they practife all the arts of harping to chear themfelves. I have known them pack the cards at Whift, that I might hold all the four honours in my own hand: they will load the dice in my favour at Hazard; pocket themselves on purpofe at Billiards; and at Bowls, if any one is near winning the game, he never fails in the next ca to miitake his biafs. It is impoffible for the most defpotic monarch to be more abfolute over his fubjects, than I am over thefe flaves and fycophants. Yet, in fpite of all their endeavours to oblige me, I moft heartily defpife them; and have already drawn up a will, in which I have bequeathed to each of them a fhilling and a dog-collar..

But, though I have fettied in my mind what legacies I fhall leave to them, I have not thoroughly refolved in what manner I fhall difpofe of the bulk of my eftate. Indeed, I am fully determined, like moit other wealthy bachelors, either to leave my fortune to fome oftentatious pious ufes, or to perfons whom I have never feen, and for whose, characters I have not the leaft regard or efteem. To fpeak fincerely, oftentation carries away iny whole heart: but then it is a little difficult to find out a new object to indulge my vanity, whilft I am on this fide the grave; by fecuring to me a certain profpect of pofthumous fame, which is always fo agreeable to living pride.

The hofpitals are fo numerous, that my name will be loft among thofe more known and established of Guy, Mor. den, Bancroft, and I know not who. Belides, in the fpace of four or five centuries, perhaps, it may be thought, notwithstanding my whole length picture and flatue, that I had affiftance from parliament. If I order my money to be laid out in churches, they will never be built if in temples, gardens, lakes, obelifks, and ferpentine rivers, the next generation of the fons of Tate wili demolith all my works, turn my rounds into iquares, and my fquares into

rounds, and not leave even my bull, although it were cast in planter of Paris by Mr. Racftrow, or worked up in wax by Mr. Goupy. Or fuppofing, in imitation of fone of my predeceffors, I were to bequeath my fortune to my housekeeper, and recommend her in my will as a pattern of virtue, diligence, and every good quality, what will be the effect? In three weeks after my death the will marry an Irishman, and I fhall not even enjoy my monument and marble periwig in Westminster Abbey.

Nothing perplexes me fo much as the difpofal of my money by my last will and teftament. While I am living it procures the moft fervile compliance with all my whims from my fycophants, and several other conveniencies: but I would fain buy fame with it after my death. Do but inftru&t me how I may lay it out in the most valuable purchases of this fort; only difcover fome new object of charity, and perhaps I may bequeath you a round sum of money for your a ivice..

I am, Sir, your humble fervant,

THOMAS VAINALL.

It is faid by an old poet, that no man's life can be called happy or unhappy till his death; in like manner, I have often thought that no words or actions are a better comment on a perfon's temper and difpofition, than his last will and teftament. This is a true portraiture of himfelf, drawn at full length by his own hand, in which the painting is commonly very lively, and the features very fr ngly marked. In the difcharge · of this folemn act, people figu and feal themfelves either wife and good characters, or villains and fools: and any per fon that makes a ridiculous will, and bequeaths his money to frivolous vies, only takes a great deal of pains, like Dogberry in the play, that he may be fet down an afs.'

a coat of heraldry, during their lives. They are pleafed with leaving fome memorial of their existence behind them, and to perpetuate the remembrance of themselves by the application of their money to fome vain-glorious purpofes; though the good gentlemen never did one act to make themfelves remarkable, or laid out a single fhilling in a laud. able manner, while they lived. If an Apothefis were to be bought, how many rich rogues would be deified after their deaths! not a pumb in the city but would purchase this imaginary godfhip as readily as he paid for his freedom at his first fetting up; and I doubt not but this fantastical diftinction would be more frequent on an efcutcheon than a co

ronet.

The difpofal of our fortunes by our laft will fhould be confidered as the difcharge of a facred truft, which we fhould endeavour to execute in a juft manner; and as we have had the enjoyment of ich poffeffions, we ought carefully to provide that they may devolve to thofe who have the most natural claim to them. They who may first demand our tavour, are those who are allied to us

ge

by the ties of blood: next to these stand thofe perfons to whom we are connected by friendship; and, next to our friends and relations, mankind in general. But the humanity of a teftator will not be thought very extenfive, though it reaches to pofterity, or includes the poor in neral, if it neglects the objects of charity immediately under his eye, or those individuals who have the best title to his benevolence. Virgil has placed those rich men, who beftowed none of their wealth on their relations, among the chief perfonages in his Hell. Wherefore I would advife my good correfpondent Mr. Vainail firft to confider whether he has not fome poor relation ftarving perhaps in fome diftant part of the kingdom; after that let him look round, whether he has not fome friends whom he may poffibly relieve from mifery and diftrefs. lation, nor any perfon in the world that has any regard for him, before he begins to endow a college, or found an hofpital, I fhould take it as a particular favour if he would leave his money to me, and will promife to immortalize his inemory in the Connoiffeur.

But if he has no re

ter from Lady Humkin, the mufical confort of my late correfpondent Sir Aaron. I shall not pretend to moderate in family-difputes of fo important a nature, but leave each party to speak for themselves.

MR. TOWN,

PRAY hear both fides fairly before you judge; for (to ufe the vulgar expreffion) one story is good till the other is told.' I am, Sir, the unfortunate wife of that inelegant (I had almoit faid infenfible) husband, who, in your paper of the eighth inftant, pronounces and publishes me to be mad, ftark inad.

I confefs and glory in my paffion for music: and can there be a nobler or more generous one? My nerves, are naturally ftrung to harmony, and va

tions of the Gamut. Some ftay in Italy added fkill and tafte in compofition to my natural happy difpofition to mufic; and the belt judges, as well as the best performers in that country, allowed me to have an uncommon fhare of virtù. I both compofe and perform, Sir: and though I fay it, perhaps few, even of the profeffion, poflefs the contra-punto and the cromatic better; and I have had the unspeakable pleasure of hearing my compofitions and my performances dignified in Italy with the unanimous ap-. pellations of fquifito, divino, and adorevole.

Is there any madness in this? Does not he better deferve that imputation whofe break is infenfible and impene trable to all the charms and powers of harmony? To be plain, I mean my huf band; whom I have frequently seen yawn,

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yawn, nay leave the room, in the middle of the moft touching pathetic, fung by the most affecting Signora Mingotti, accompanied by the divine Signor di Giardino. And yet-pardon this digreffive tranfport-how irrefittible is the expreffion, the melody, the cadences, the apogyraturas, of that incomparable virtuoja! What energy, what delicacy, and what variety are in the inimitable compofitions and execution of the charming Signor di Giardino! What an arpeggio he has, what a flaccato, what ap andante! In fhort, I may, I am fure, with truth affert, that whether in the allegro or the piano, the adagio, the largo, or the forte, he never had his equal. Oh, Mr. Town, what an irretrievable lofs has this country fuftained! My good man, among his other qualifications, is a politician, you must know; and one of his principal objections against thefe virtuofi is, that they are foreigners. He flew into a violent paffion with me laft Sunday night, because I had a concert at my houle, when, he faid, fuch bad news were received from abroad. I know not what he, and other muddyheaded politicians, may think: but let

him talk what he will of THE Blakeney, THE Governor, THE Admiral, I am fure the nation cannot fuftain a greater evil than the lofs of THE Mingotti; who, as the public prints will inform you, is gone to Holland, till her affairs in England can be fettled.'

But however gothic my husband may be, I am fully determined to discharge the duty of a good wife. Accordingly, whenever he comes into my room, I fit down to my harpsichord, and fing and play the mott foothing pieces of mufic, in hopes fome time or other of hitting his unifon, but hitherto to no purpose; and, to fay the truth, I fear he has not one harmonic nerve in his whole fyitem, though otherwife a man of good plain fenic. When he interrupts my per formances (as in his letter he owns that he does) with wishing for the men from Mother Midnight's, with their wooden ipoons, falt-boxes, Jew-harps, and broom ticks, to play in concert with me; I anfwer him with all the gentlenefs and calinnefs imaginable- Indeed, my dear, you have not the leaft notion of these things. It would be impoffible to bring thofe ridiculous inftiuments into a concert, and to adept a thorough-bafs to them: they have not

This article of expence he often dwells upon, and fometimes even with warmth; to which I reply, with all the mildness that becomes a good wife My dear, you have a good fortune of your own, and I brought you still a better. Of what ufe is money if not employed? And how can it be better employed than in encouraging and rewarding diftinguished gufio and merit? Thefe people whom you call ballad-fingers and pipers, are people of birth, though for the most part of small fortunes; and they are much more confidered, as you know, in Italy, than all the greatest ancient Roman heroes, if revived, would now be. They leave their own country, where they are fo 'infinitely esteemed for their moral as well as their mufical characters, and generously facrifice all thefe advantages to our diverfion. Befides, my dear, what should we do with our money? Would you lavish it away upon foundling baftards; lying-in women, who have either no hufbands or too many; importunate beggars, all whose 'cries and complaints are the most 'fhocking difcords? Or, fuppose that we were to fave our money, and leave our children better fortunes, who knows but they might, as too many do, fquander them away idly? whereas what we give to thefe virtuof, we know, is given to merit. For my own part, my dear, I have infinite pleafure when I can get any of them to accept of fifty or an hundred guineas; which, by the way, cannot always be brought about without fome art and contrivance; for they are most exceedingly nice and delicate upon the point of honour, efpecially in the article of money. I look upon fuch trifling prefents as a debt due to fu'perior talents and merit; and I endea