I had never weighed my sins in their guilt and aggravation, as I weighed them and felt them on my sick bed. Behold the danger of merely confessing sin generally. When the Spirit of God is convincing you of any sin, keep your finger upon that for which He is reproving you, and go in before the Lord to own its defilement, and seek its pardon. By this course, when the adversary presents it to your sinking spirit, you can tell him, "My Saviour knows it. I have already confessed it in deep humiliation, and sought its removal by the blood of sprinkling.' It is staggering, to a fearful degree, when the enemy is able to accuse us of unacknowledged, unrepented transgression; and the recording angel can find no entry of it, as already brought in before our Great High Priest.

6

But the sick chamber strangely alters our views of sin. In the season of health and strength, we unconsciously charge to the account of infirmity many sins which ought not to be so regarded; but when we are upon the bed of languishing, conscience will not pass the account. The shallow excuses which satisfied us in health, will not satisfy us now. The mole hill swells into mountains of guilt, and our best actions dwindle into nothing. Let me give you some faint view of the appearance of things in the eyes of a dying man. Have we been active for the benefit of others? Have schools and religious institutions employed our time? In the excitement of such pursuits, we dreamed not that the love of display, and not the glory of God, might be the moving spring. With my sick blanket about me, I could not shut out this fact, and was now constrained to acknowledge, "They made me keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept.” With many, I had passed for a zealous, liberal, devoted servant of Christ; but when apparently on the brink of eternity, I read my character with different eyes. The zeal which had been commended by the short-sighted creatures around, pleaded guilty to the charge of icy coldness; liberality felt itself a

close-handed niggard; and as to Christian devotedness, it was so unlike the original, that it dared no longer to usurp the name. We may not wish to deceive others; but in those matters we are apt to delude ourselves, and think, that because we do more than many, we may look upon our case with self-satisfaction; "comparing ourselves among ourselves, we are not wise.

But the heaviest blow, which I felt in this hour of trial, arose from not being being able to realize the fact that I had ever laid hold upon Cbrist as MY Saviour. True, I had talked of Him as such. I had often expressed my conviction that Christ, and Christ only, was the sinner's hope; but where was my proof that I had closed with him? "Oh! yes," said the accuser, "Jesus casts out none that come to him; but what reason have you for supposing that you ever did come? It was of no use to tell him, that I came to Christ in my baptism; for he replied, that Simon Magus did the same. It availed not that I spoke of having come to Christ in the Lord's Supper; for Satan suggested that it was possible to "eat and drink our own damnation, not discerning the Lord's body." This was his rich harvest-time, while my poor soul was struggling "in darkness and in the deep; yea, I can say, that “ an horrible dread overwhelmed me."

Now, shall I tell you what was the anxious wish of that hour? I wished that I had "made my calling and election sure;" that I had not taken for granted, that because the head was enlightened, the heart must needs be under divine influence; yea, I wished I had enabled the Spirit to "bear witness with my spirit;" that I had lived upon Jesus from day to day; that I had gone in to him for strength against my sins, and come out from him with power unto victory. In such a season, the recollection of prayerful resistance to one bosom sin; an act of self-denial for the glory of God; or patient continu ance in the way of duty-will be a surer sign of our

personal interest in Christ, than can be derived from any other source. These may be considered by some as legal notions; but sure I am, it is the only safe ground to tread upon-the only path in which the joy of the Holy Ghost comes to the Christian pilgrim, or "an abundant entrance, ministered into the everlasting kingdom."

My dear reader, you will gather from what I have said, the vital importance of searching into the actual state of your soul before God. Are you living as you would wish to be found in that hour when "heart and flesh are failing"? Are you "walking with God" through the day?-that is, "seeking to approve yourself unto him that searcheth the heart and trieth the reins"? Furthermore, are you making use of your Saviour to teach you, to cleanse your conscience from guilt, and to "strengthen you mightily by his Spirit?" If this be the case, you and your Saviour are not strangers to each other; you will "know whom you have believed, and commit the keeping of your soul unto him, as unto a faithful Creator." "And now I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified."

LAZARUS.

ON THE WORK OF CHRIST.

Well may the apostle argue, that, if God has given us Christ, he will with him also freely give us all things. What gift is comparable to this? God the Son, a man! a suffering man! dying on the cross for me! This is the mystery of godliness, the great manifestation of divine love, the wonder and joy of eternity. "Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree. He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. The Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all." 'Through death, he has been made of God to us, "wis

dom and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption." I have redemption through his blood: even the forgiveness of sins, adoption into the family of God, a place in heaven, and all spiritual blessings. "All the promises of God in him are yea, and, in him amen." Without his sacrifice and mediation, they could neither have been given to me, nor ever have been realized in my experience. "He is the author and finisher of our faith." It is he who has procured for me the Holy Spirit. Although he has ascended into glory, he does not forget me. He has entered heaven for me, and as my forerunner. There he is "head over all things to the church." He is "touched with the feeling of infirmities." "If any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous. And he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them." Sinful as we are, he is not ashamed to call us brethren; and after a while, he will receive us to himself, that where he is, there we may be also.

Besides all this, he is our highest example. I can find in him every opposite grace, in its highest perfection, He is my faultless model. Especially may I learn from his sufferings to suffer. I suffer as a sinner, not the thousandth part of what I deserve: but what did he suffer the innocent for the guilty, the sinless for the sinner, the incarnate Creator for the creature? There indeed was lowliness, patience, and love! Adorable Saviour, can I after this complain?

Thus he is all in all. Without him I can do nothing; with him all things. He is my strength and righteousness; my hiding-place from the wind, and my cover from the tempest. He is to me "as the rivers of water is in a dry place, and as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land." land." What could I desire in a Saviour which is not found in him? What blessing cannot his merit procure? What will not his love bestow? "God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ."

1 am no longer my own, but bought with a price.

Whether I live, I should live to him; or whether I die, I should die to him; living or dying, I am his; for to this end he both died, and rose, and revived, that he should be Lord both of the dead and living. Thanks be to him for coming to save a sinner like me! Thanks be to God the Father for his unspeakable gift! "Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb, for ever and ever."

THE FEVER AT CASTERTON.

In our last number I gave some account of this awful scourge: through mercy, while I am writing, we venture to indulge a hope, that a brighter day dawns upon us. But, oh my dear readers, how God blends his mercies with his judgments, and makes it clear, even in this life, to his children, that he sends trials in mercy, and for a blessing. Great trials do, indeed, bring to light great mercies. If we only give ourselves up to his care, and say, "not my will, but thine, be done"-lying like clay in the hands of the potter-then we shall not want proof that God chasteneth like a father, who pities and loves his child. How faithfully and tenderly does he bring us through trials which beforehand seemed quite beyond our means to endure ! So, indeed, it has been with me. There have been moments when I felt as if I must sink: as if neither body nor soul could bear its appointed burden. And what does one do in such a moment? Despair? No. We might well despair in such an extremity, if we conferred with flesh and blood. But the more urgent and overwhelming our need, the more urgent should be our cry to Him, who can save to the uttermost. There can be no room for despair, so long as we have an omnipotent God to go to. I think I never felt so much as at this trying time, the sweetness and the fitness of that sweetest of all hymns:

"Jesu, Lover of my soul,

Let me to thy bosom fly."