Speed. Sir Proteus, save you: Saw you my Pro. But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan. Speed. Twenty to one then, he is shipp'd already;

And I have play'd the sheep, in losing him. Pro. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray, An if the shepherd be a while away.

having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains.

Pro. Beshrew* me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse.

Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: What said she?

Speed. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter, may be both at once delivered. Pro. Well, Sir, here is for your pains: What said she?

Speed. Truly, Sir, I think you'll hardly win her.

Pro. Why? Could'st thou perceive so much from her?

Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for de

Pro. I do.

Speed. Why then my horns are his horns,

whether I wake or sleep.

Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.
Speed. This proves me still a sheep.
Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd.

Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance.

Pro. It shall go hard, but I'll prove it by another.

Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me; therefore, I am no sheep.

Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore, thou art a sheep.

Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa.

Pro. But dost thou hear? gav'st thou my letter to Julia?

Speed. Ay, Sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton ;* and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for

my labour.

Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of muttons.

were best stick her.

Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere Dest pound you.

Speed. Nay, Sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter.

Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold.

Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over,

Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover. Pro. But what said she? did she nod? [SPEED nods.

Speed. 1.

Pro. Nod, I? why, that's noddy.t Speed. You mistook, Sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod; and I say, I. Pro. And that set together, is-noddy.

Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set

it together, take it for your pains.

that brought your mind, I fear, she'll prove as hard to you in telling her mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as hard as steel. Pro. What, said she nothing?

Speed. No, not so much as take this for thy pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'dt me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, Sir, I'll commend you to iny master.

Pro, Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck;

Which cannot perish, having thee aboard,
Being destined to a drier death on shore :-
I must go send some better messenger;
I fear, my Julia would not deign my lines,
Receiving them from such a worthless post.
[Exeunt.

SCENE II. The same. Garden of JULIA'S house.

Enter JULIA and LUCETTA.

Jul. But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, would'st thou then counsel me to fall in love? Luc. Ay, madam; so you stumble not unheedfully.

Jul. Of all the fair resort of gentlemen, That every day with parle encounter me, In thy opinion, which is worthiest love? Luc. Please you, repeat their names, I'll

show my mind According to my shallow simple skill. Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Egla

mour?

Luc. As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine;

But, were I you, he never should be mine.
Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?
Luc. Well of his wealth; but of himself, so, s0.
Jul. What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?
Luc. Lord, lord! to see what folly reigns in
us!

Jul. How now what means this passion at his name?

Luc. Pardon, dear madam; 'tis a passing That I, unworthy body as I am, [shame, Should censures thus on lovely gentlemen.

Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest? Luc. Then thus, of many good I think him

best.

Jul. Your reason?

Luc. I have no other but a woman's reason;

Jul. And would'st thou have me cast my love on him?

the letter

Luc. Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.

+ Given me a sixpence. Pass sentence.

Luc. O, they love least, that let men know their love.

I. I would, I knew his mind.

Luc. Peruse this paper, madam.
Sul. To Julia, Say, from whom!
Luc. That the contents will show.

Jul. Say, say; who gave it thee?

Luc. Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus: [way, He would have given it you, but I, being in the Did in your name receive it; pardon the fault, I pray.

Jul. Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker!* Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines? To whisper and conspire against my youth ? Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth, And you an officer fit for the place. 'There, take the paper, see it be return'd; Or else return no more into my sight.

Luc. To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.

Jul. Will you be gone?
Luc. That you may ruminate.
[Exit.
Jul. And yet, I would I had o'erlook'd the
letter.

It were a shame to call her back again,
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her,
What fool is she, that knows I am a maid,
And would not force the letter to my view?
Since maids, in modesty, say No, to that [Ay.
Which they would have the profferer construe,
Fie, fie! how wayward is this foolish love,
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse,
And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod !
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence,
When willingly I would have had her here!
How angrily I taught my brow to frown,
When inward joy enforc'd my heart to smile!
My penance is, to call Lucetta back,
And ask remission for my folly past:-
What ho! Lucetta!

And yet, methinks, I do not like this tune.

Jul. You do not?

Luc. No, madam; it is too sharp.

Jul. You, minion, are too saucy.

Luc. Nay, now you are too flat,

And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:* There wanteth but a meant to fill your song.

Jul. The mean is drown'd with your unruly base. Luc. Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus. Jul. This babble shall not henceforth trouble Here is a coils with protestation![me. [Tears the letter.

Go, get you gone; and let the papers lie: You would be fingering them, to anger me. Luc. She makes it strange; but she would be best pleas'd SO anger'd with another letter. [Exit. Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!

To be

O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps! to feed on such sweet honey,
And kill the bees, that yield it, with your
stings!

I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
And here is writ-kind Julia; unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,

I throw thy name against the bruising stones
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain,
Look, here is writ-love-wounded Proteus:-
Poor wounded name! my bosom, as a bed,
Shall lodge thee, till thy wound be thoroughly
heal'd;

And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss. But twice, or thrice, was Proteus written down?

Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away, Till I have found each letter in the letter. Except mine own name; that some whirl

wind bear

Luc. To take a paper up that I let fall.

Jul. Then let it lie for those that it concerns.

Jul. And is that paper nothing?

Jul. Well, let us go.

Luc. Nothing concerning me.

tales here?

Luc. Madam, it will not lie where it con

Luc. What, shall these papers lie like tell[up.

Unless it have a false interpreter.

[cerns,

Jul. Some love of yours hath writ to you in

Luc. That I might sing it,

madam, to a tune:

Give me a note: your ladyship can set.

Jul. As little by such toys as may be possi

Best sing it to the tune of Light o' love. [ble:

Luc. It is too heavy for so light a tune.

Jul. If you respect them, best to take them Luc. Nay, I was taken up for laying them

Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold. Jul. 1 see, you have a month's mind to

them.

Luc. Ay, madam, you may say what sights

you see;

A term in music.

† A challenge.

Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINO.

Ant. Tell me, Panthino, what sad* talk was
that,

Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister?
Pun. 'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your
Ant. Why, what of him?
[son.

Pan. He wonder'd, that your lordship
Would suffer him to spend his youth at home:
While other men, of slender reputation,†
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out:
Some, to the wars, to try their fortune there;
Some, to discover islands far away;
Some, to the studious universities.
For any, or for all these exercises,
He said, that Proteus, your son, was meet;
And did request me, to impórtune you,
To let him spend his time no more at home,
Which would be great impeachment to his
In having known no travel in his youth. [agc,
Ant. Nor need'st thou much importune me
to that
Whereon this month I have been hammering.
I have consider'd well his loss of time;
And how he cannot be a perfect man,
Not being try'd and tutor'd in the world :
Experience is by industry achiev'd.
And perfected by the swift course of time:
Then, tell me, whether were I best to send him?
Pan. I think, your lordship is not ignorant,
How his companion, youthful Valentine,
Attends the emperor in his royal court.
Ant. I know it well.

Pan. "Twere good, I think, your lordship

sent him thither:

How happily he lives, how well belov'd,
And daily graced by the emperor;
Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.
Ant. And how stand you affected to his
wish?

Pro. As one relying on your lordship's will,
And not depending on his friendly wish.
Ant. My will is something sorted with his
wish:

Muse not that I thus suddeníy proceed;
For what I will, I will, and there an end.
I am resolv'd, that thou shalt spend some time
With Valentinus in the emperor's court;
What maintenance he from his friends receives,
Like exhibitions thou shalt have from me.
To-morrow be in readiness to gn:
Excuse it not, for I'm peremptory.

Pro. My lord, I cannot be so soon provided; Please you, deliberate a day or two.

Ant. Look what thou want'st, shall be sent after thee:

No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go.Come on, Panthino; you shall be employ'd To hasten on his expedition.

[Exeunt ANT. and PAN. Pro. Thus have I shunn'd the fire, for fear of burning; [drown'd: And drench'd me in the sea, where I am I fear'd to show my father Julia's letter, Lest he should take exceptions to my love; And with the vantage of mine own excuse Hath he excepted most against my love. O, how this spring of love resembleth

The uncertain glory of an April day; Which now shows all the beauty of the sun, And by and by a cloud takes all away!

And, in good time,-now will we break with

mine :

Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! Ah Silvia! Silvia!

Speed. Madam Silvia! madam Silvia!
Val. How now, sirrah ?
Speed. She is not within hearing, Sir.
Val. Why, Sir, who bade you call her?
Speed. Your worship, Sir; or else I mistook.
Val. Well, you'll still be too forward.
Speed. And yet I was last chidden for being
too slow.

Val. Go to, Sir; tell me, do you know ma

dam Silvia?

Speed. She that your worship loves? Val. Why, how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry, by these special marks: First, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a male-content; to relish a love

song, like a robin-red-breast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A. B, C; to weep, like a young wench that hath buried her grandam'; to fast, like one that takes diet;* to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laugh'd, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions;

you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardLy think you my master.

Val. Are all these things perceived in me ?
Speed. They are all percéived without you.
Val. Without me? They cannot.

Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would : but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye, that sees you, but is a physician to comment

on your malady.

Val. But, tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?

Speed. She, that you gaze on so, as she sits

at supper?

Val. Hast thou observed that? even she I

mean.

Speed. Why, Sir, I know her not.

Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.

Speed. And have you?
Val. I have.

Speed. Are they not lamely writ?

Val. No, boy, but as well as I can do them :Peace, here she comes.

Enter SILVIA.

much pains?

her, and yet know'st her not?

Speed. Is she not hard favoured, Sir?

Val. Not so fair, boy, as well favoured.

Val. What dost thou know?

Speed. Sir, I know that well enough.

Speed. That she is not so fair, as (of you)

well favoured.

Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.

Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.

Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, Sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.

Val. How esteemest thou me? I account of

her beauty.

Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed.

Val. How long hath she been deformed?
Speed. Ever since you loved her.

Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful.

Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her. Val. Why?

Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own had the lights they were wont to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!

Val. What should I see then?

Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love,

cannot see to put on your hose.

Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my

Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, And yet,[much:

Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it:-and yet I care

not;And yet take this again;-and yet I thank you; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more. Speed. And yet you will; and yet another yet. [Aside. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it?

Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ: But since unwillingly, take them again; Nay, take them.

Val. Madam, they are for you.

Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, Sir, at my re-
quest:

But I will none of them; they are for you:
I would have had them writ more movingly.
Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship
another.

Sil. And, when it's writ, for my sake read

And so good-morrow, servant. [Exit SILVIA. Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible. As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple! [suitor, My master sues to her; and she hath taught her He being her pupil, to become her tutor.

O excellent device! was there ever heard a better?

That my master, being scribe, to himself should

write the letter?

Val. How now, Sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?

Speed. Nay, I was rhyming; 'tis you that have the reason.

Val. What figure?

Speed. By a letter, I should say.

Val. Why, she hath not writ to me?

Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

Val. No, believe me. Speed. No believing you indeed, Sir; But did you perceive her earnest?

Val. She gave me none, except an angry

word.

Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake. [Giving a ring.

Pro. Why then we'll make exchange; here, take you this. Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss. Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy; And when that hour o'er-slips me in the day, Wherein I sigh not, Julia, for thy sake, The next ensuing hour some foul mischance Torment me for my love's forgetfulness! My father stays my coming; answer not; The tide is now: nay not the tide of tears; That tide will stay me longer than I should; [Exit JULIA.

Julia, farewell. - What! gone without a word? Ay, so true love should do: it cannot speak; For truth hath better deeds, than words, to grace it.

think, Crab my dog to be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel. hearted cur shed ore tear: he is a stone, a very pebble-stone, and has no more pity in hím than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father;-no, this left shoe is my father: no, no, this left shoe is my mother;-nay, that cannot be so neither; -yes, it is so, it is so; it hath the worser sole; This shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father; A vengeance on't! there 'tis: now, Sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid; I am the dog :-no, the dog is him self, and I am the dog,-O, the dog is me, and I am myself: ay, so, so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessing; now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping; now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on :-now come I to my mother, (O, that she could speak now!) like a wood woman; well, I kiss her; -why there 'tis; here's my mother's breath up and down: now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes: now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.

Enter PANTHINO.

Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer.

Laun. It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the unkindest tied that ever any man tied.

Pan. What's the unkindest tide ?

Laun. Why, he that's tied here; Crab, my

dog.

Pan. In thy tail?

call thee.