There Diomed doth feast with him to-night; Who neither looks upon the heaven, nor earth, But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view On the fair Cressid.

Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you so much,

After we part from Agamemnon's tent,
To bring me thither?

Ulyss. You shall command me, Sir.
As gentle tell me, of what honour was
This Cressida in Troy? Had she no lover there
That wails her absence?

Tro. O, Sir, to such as boasting show their

wound.

Patr. Well said, Adversity!* and what need these tricks?

Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk: thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that? Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts-griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ache, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter; take and take again such preposterous

discoveries!

Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep [it:
An oath that I have sworn. I will not break
Fall, Greeks; fail, fame; honour, or go, of
stay;
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.-
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent.
This night in banqueting must all be spent.
Away, Patroclus.

[Exeunt ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. Ther. With too much blood, and too little brain, these two may run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, -an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as earwax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds;t a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg,-to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a row, I would not care: but to be Menelaus, Í would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar,|| so I were not Menelaus.-Hey-day! spirits and fires!

Enter HECTOR, TROILUS, AJAX, AGAMEMΝΟΝ, ULYSSES, NESTOR, MENELAUS, and DIOMED, with Lights.

Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.
Ajax. No, yonder 'tis;

There, where we see the lights.
Hect. I trouble you.

Ajax. No, not a whit.

Ulyss. Here comes himself to guide you.

Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more

trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent

Tro. I pr'ythee, stay.
Ulyss. You have not patience; come.
Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's

when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and

torments,

performs, astronomers foretell it; it is prodi

Dio. And so, good night.

gious, there will come some change; the sun

Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.

borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his

Tro. Doth that grieve thee?

not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan

Ulyss. Why, how now, lord?

drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll

Tro. By Jove,

varlets!

[Exit.

Cres. Guardian!-why, Greek!

Dio. Pho, pho! adieu; you palter.*

Cres. In faith, I do not; come hither once

again.

Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something;

will you go?

You will break out.

Tro. She strokes his cheek!
Ulyss. Come, come.

Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a

word:

There is between my will and all offences
A guard of patience:-stay a little while.

Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!

Dio. But will you then?

Cres. In faith, I will, la; never trust me else. Dio. Give me some token for the surety of it. Cres. I'll fetch you one.

Ulyss. You have sworn patience.

Tro. Fear me not, my lord;

I will not be myself, nor have cognitiont

Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Re-enter CRESSIDA.

on me?

Cres. O, all you gods!-O pretty pretty

Cres. I pr'ythee, do not hold me to mine oath;

pledge!

Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.

Thy master now lies thinking in his bed

Dio. Good night.

Of thee, and me; and sighs, and takes my

Tro. Hold, patience!

glove,

Ulyss. How now, Trojan?

And gives memorial dainty kisses to it, [me;

Cres. Diomed,

As I kiss thee, -Nay, do not snatch it from

Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women yonder, And by herself, I will not tell you whose.

Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm; And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it. Tro. Wert thou the devil, and wor'st on thy It should be challenged. [horn, Cres. Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past; -And

yet it is not;

I will not keep my word.

Dio. Why then, farewell;

Thou never shalt mock Diomed again.

Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
Without revolt; this is, and is not, Cressid!
Within my soul there doth commence a fight
Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate
Divides more wider than the sky and earth;
And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifice for a point, as subtle
As is Arachne's broken woof, to enter.
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of hea-

ven:

a word,

But it straight starts you.

Dio. I do not like this fooling.

not you, pleases me best.

Dio. What, shall I come? the hour?

Cres. Ay, come:-O Jove!

Do come:-I shall be plagu'd
Dio. Farewell till then.

Cres. Good night. I pr'ythee, come.

[Exit DIOMEDES. Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee; But with my heart the other eye doth see. Ah! poor our sex! this fault in us I find, The error of our eye directs our mind: What error leads, must err; O then, conclude, Minds, sway'd by eyes, are full of turpitude. [Exit CRESSIDA.

Ther. A proof of strength she could not publish more,

Unless she said, My mind is now turn'd whore.
Ulyss. All's done, my lord.
Tro. It is.

Ulyss. Why stay we then?

Tro. To make a recordationt to my soul

Of every syllable that here was spoke.
But, if I tell how these two did co-act
Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?

Sith yet there is a credences in my heart,

An esperance|| so obstinately strong,

That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears; As if those organs had deceptious functions, Created only to calumniate.

Was Cressid here?

Ulyss. I cannot conjure, Trojan.
Tro. She was not sure.

Ulyss. Most sure she was.

Tro. Why, my negation**
madness.

hath no taste of

reliques

Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed. Ulyss. May worthy Troilus be half attach'd With that which here his passion doth express?

Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged In characters as red as Mars his heart [well Inflam'd_with Venus: never did young man fancy*

With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.
Hark, Greek;-As much as I do Cressid love,
So much by weight hate I her Diomed:
That sleeve is mine, that he'll bear on his helm;
Were it a casquet compos'd by Vulcan's skill,
My sword should bite it: not the dreadful
spout,

Which shipmen do the hurricano call
Constring'd in mass by the almighty sun,
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
In his descent, than shall my prompted sword
Falling on Diomed.

Ther. He'll tickle it for his concupy.

Tro. O Cressid! O false Cressid! false,

false, false!

Let all untruths stand by thy stained name, And they'll seem glorious.

Ulyss. O, contain yourself;

Your passion draws ears hither.

Enter ÆNEAS.

Æne. I have been seeking you this hour,

my lord: Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy; Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home.

Tro. Have with you, prince:-My courteous lord adieu: Farewell, revolted fair!-and, Diomed, Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head! Ulyss. I'll bring you to the gates. Tro. Accept distracted thanks.

[Exeunt TROILUS, ENEAS, and ULYSSES. Ther. 'Would, I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not do more for an almond, than he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery; nothing else holds fashion: A burning devil take them! [Exit.

SCENE III.-Troy.-Before Priam's Palace.

Enter HECTOR and ANDROMACHE.

And. When was my lord so much ungently temper'd, To stop his ears against admonishment ? Unarm, unarm, and do not fight to-day.

+ Remembrance.

↑ Since.

|| Hope.

Testimony.

* Love.

†† For the sake of. ‡‡ Cynics.

Cas. Where is my brother Hector?

Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire; Not Priamus and Hecuba on knees,

Their eyes o'ergalled with recourse of tears;

Nor you, my brother, with your true sword

drawn,

tent:

But by my ruin.

Cas. O, it is true.

Hect. Ho! bid my trumpet sound!

sweet brother.

Hect. Begone, I say: the gods have heard

me swear.

vows;

Cassandra doth foresee; and I myself Am like a prophet suddenly enrapt, To tell thee-that this day is ominous: Therefore, come back.

Cas. The gods are deaf to hot and peevish*

They are polluted offerings, more abhorr'd

Than spotted livers in the sacrifice.

Hect. Æneas is a-field;

boy,

I'll stand, to-day, for thee, and me, and Troy. Tro. Brother, you have a vice of mercy in Which better fits a lion than a man. [you, Hect. What vice is that, good Troilus? chide me for it.

Tro. When many times the captive Grecians fall,

Even in the fan and wind of your fair sword, You bid them rise, and live.

Hect. O, 'tis fair play.

Tro. Fool's play, by heaven,
Hect. How now? how now?

Even in the faith of valour, to appear
This morning to them.

Pri. But thou shalt not go.

Hect. I must not break my faith. You know me dutiful; therefore, dear Sir, Let me not shame respect; but give me leave To take that course by your consent and voice, Which you do here forbid me, royal Priam.

Cas. O Priam, yield not to him.

And. Do not, dear father.

Hect. Andromache, I am offended with you: Upon the love you bear me, get you in.

Pri. Farewell: the gods with safety stand about thee!

[Exeunt severally PRIAM and HECTOR. Alarums.

Tro. They are at it; hark! Proud Diomed believe, I come to lose my arm, or win my sleeve.

AS TROILUS is going out, enter, from the other side, PANDARUS.

Pan. Do you hear, my lord? do you hear Tro. What now?

Pan. Here's a letter from yon' poor girl.

Tro. Let me read.

Pan. A whoreson ptisick, a whoreson rascally ptisick so troubles me, and the foolish fortune of this girl; and what one thing, what another, that I shall leave you one o'these days: And I have a rheum in mine eyes too: and such an ache in my bones, that, unless a man were cursed, I cannot tell what to think on't. What says she there?

Tro. Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart; [Tearing the letter. The effect doth operate another way.Go, wind, to wind, there turn and change toge

ther.

My love with words and errors still she feeds; But edifies another with her deeds.

[Exeunt severally.

SCENE IV.-Between Troy and the Grecian Camp.

Alarums: Excursions. Enter THERSITES.

Ther. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; Ill go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's sleeve of Troy there, in his helm: I would fain see them meet; that that same young Trojan ass, that loves the whore there, might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the dissembling luxurious drab, on a sleeveless errand. O' the other side, The policy of those crafty swearing rascals, that stale old mouse-eaten dry cheese, Nestor; and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, -is not proved worth a blackberry:-They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog bad Achilles: and now is the Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm to-day: whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion. Soft! here come sleeve, and t'other.

Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following. Tro. Fly not; for, should'st thou take the

river Styx,

I would swim after.

Dio. Thou dost miscall retire:
I do not fly; but advantageous care
Withdrew me from the odds of multitude:
Have at thee!

Ther. Hold thy whore, Grecian!-now for thy whore, Trojan !-now the sleeve, now the sleeve!

[Exeunt TROILUS and DIOMEDES, fighting. Enter HECTOR.

Hect. What art thou, Greek? art thou for Hector's match?

Art thou of blood, and honour?

Ther. No, no:-I am a rascal; a scurvy railing knave; a very filthy rogue. Hect. I do believe thee;-live.

[Exit.

Ther. God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me ; But a plague break thy neck, for frighting me! What's become of the wenching rogues? I think, they have swallowed one another: I would laugh at that miracle. Yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself. I'll seek them. [Exit.

SCENE V.-The same.

Enter DIOMEDES and a SERVANT. Dio. Go, go, my servant, take thou Troilus' horse;

Present the fair steed to my lady Cressid:

Nest. Go, bear Patroclus' body to Achilles; And bid the snail-pao'd Ajax arm for shame.There is a thousand Hectors in the field: Now here he fights on Galathe his horse, And there lacks work; anon, he's there afoot, Before the belching whale; then is he yonder, And there they fly, or die, like scaled sculls; And there the strawy Greeks, ripe for his edge, Fall down before him, like the mower's swath: Here, there, and every where, he leaves, and Dexterity so obeying appetite, [takes; That what he will, he does; and does so much, That proof is call'd impossibility.

Enter ULYSSES.

Ulyss. O, courage, courage, princes! great Achilles [geance:

Is arming, weeping, cursing, vowing ven-
Patroclus wounds have rous'd his drowsy
blood,
Together with his mangled Myrmidons,
That noseless, handless, hack'd and chipp'd,
come to him,

Crying on Hector. Ajax hath lost a friend,
And foams at mouth, and he is arm'd, and
at it,
Roaring for Troilus; who hath done to-day
Mad and fantastic execution;
Engaging and redeeming of himself,
With such a careless force, and forceless care,
As if that luck, in very spite of cunning,
Bade him win all.