Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, Methought he was a brother to your daughter; But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born; And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, Whom he reports to be a great magician, Obscured in the circle of this forest. Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark! Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in-all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome: This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure3; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like1. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks:-A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will: Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor-house; as your pearl, in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious6. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases". Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause ? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed:-Bear your body more seeming9, Audrey:-as thus, sir, I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: This is called the Retort courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: This is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabledio my judgment: This is call'd the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: This is call'd the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: This is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie By the marriage ceremony a man SWEARS that he will keep only to his wife; but his blood or passion often makes him break his oath. 6 i. e. prompt and pithy. Dulcet diseases." Johnson thought we should read—' discourses: but it is useless labour to endeavour to make the fantastic Touchstone orthodox in his meaning. 8 i. e. the lie removed seven times, counting backwards from the last and most aggravated species of lie, viz. the lie direct. • Seemly. 10 i. e. impeached, or dispraised. circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O, sir, we quarrel in print, by the book11; as you have books for good manners12: I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, ás If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. 11 The poet has, in this scene, rallied the mode of formal duelling, then so prevalent, with the highest humour and address. The book alluded to is intitled, Of Honour and Honourable Quarrels, by Vincentio Saviolo, 1594, 4to. The first part of which is: A Discourse most necessary for all Gentlemen that have in regard their Honours, touching the giving and receiving the Lie, whereupon the Duello and the Combat in divers Forms doth ensue; and many other inconveniences for lack only of true knowledge of Honour, and the right Understanding of Words, which here is set down." The eight following chapters are, on the Lie and its various circumstances, much in the order of Touchstone's engmeration; and in the chapter of Conditional Lies, speaking of the particle if, he says: Conditional lies be such as are given conditionally, as if a man should say or write these words: if thou hast said that I have offered my lord abuse, thou liest; or if thou sayest so hereafter, thou shalt lie. Of these kind of lies, given in this manner, often arise much contention in wordes, whereof no sure conclusion can arise.' There are other works of the time on the same subject mentioned by the commentators; but this must suffice. 12 The Booke of Nurture; or, Schoole of Good Manners for *Men, Servants, and Children, with stans puer ad mensam, 12mo. without date, in black letter, is most probably the work referred to. It was written by Hugh Rhodes, and first published in the reign of Edward VI. ,、, Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse15, and under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit. Enter HYMEN14, leading ROSALIND in women's clothes; and CELIA. Still Music. Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven, When earthly things made even, Good duke, receive thy daughter, That thou mightst join her hand with his Ros. To you I give myself, for I am yours [To Duke S. To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To ORLANDO Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Phe. If sight and shape be true, Why then, my love, adieu! Ros. I'll have no father, if you be not he: [To Duke S. [TO ORLANDO. I'll have no husband, if you be not heat Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she: [TO PHEBE. 13A stalking-horse." See note on Much Ado about Nothing, Act ii. Sc. 3, p. 143, note 6. 14 Rosalind is imagined by the rest of the company to be brought by enchantment, and is therefore introduced by a supposed aërial being in the character of Hymen. 15 i. e. at one; accord, or agree together This is the old sense of the phrase, an attonement, a loving againe after a breach or falling out. Reditus in gratia cum aliquo -Baret. Hym. Peace, ho! I bar confusion: Of these most strange events: If truth holds true contents 16. [To ORLANDO and ROSALIND. You and you are heart in heart: [To OLIVER and CELIA. [To TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. As the winter to foul weather. Wedding is great Juno's crown; Duke S. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me; Enter JAQUES DE BOIS. [To SILVIUS. Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or two; I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, 16 i. e. unless truth fails of veracity; if there be truth in truth. 1 i. e. take your fill of discourse. 18 i. e. unite, attach. |