my

"life- fhall lofe it, and whofoever will lofe his life, for "fake, fhall find it*." Upon the whole, inftead of finding fault with the duty or lot of God's children, can you truly fay, "O that there were fuch an heart in me that I "could keep his ftatutes! The law of the Lord is perfectly holy. The paths of the Lord toward me have been "infinitely gracious. My heart only is exceeding finful. "O Lord, write thy law in my heart, and put it in my "inward parts: give me a new heart and a new fpirit, and "caufe me to walk in thy ftatutes, and keep thy judg "ments, and do them."

3. It is an excellent evidence of conviction's being right both in principle and in degree, when the penitent hath a greater fear of fin than of fuffering. As the great fource of genuine conviction of fin is a fenfe of its evil in itself, rather than an apprehenfion of its confequences even in the life to come, there is no way in which this will discover itself more diftinctly, than in the views we have of fin, and fuffering in the prefent state. Whether do you grieve most heartily for fin, or for worldly loffes? Which of them do you avoid with the greatest folicitude and care? Will not this fhow what it is that lies nearest your hearts, and hath the dominion there? Will not this fhow it in a manner that muft be convincing even to yourfelves, and leave no room to reply? Alas! how heavy a fentence does this carry againft many profeffing Christians? How great their anxiety about the things of time, how little about the concerns of eternity? How carefully will they obferve the increase or decrease of their trade and opulence? But how little attention will they pay to the growth or decay of religion in their hearts? They will dread the arts, and fly from the fociety of a fraudulent dealer, but will fufpect no danger while their ears are drinking in the poifon of licentious or impure converfation. The lofs of a child, or the lofs of their fubftance, oppreffes them with forrow, while even the commiffion of grofs fin, if concealed from the world, produces a reflection fcarcely felt, and fpeedily forgotten.

* Matt. xvi. 24.

I have faid, indeed, above, that all perfons are not equally fufceptible of violent emotions of any kind. But what fhall be faid of the fame perfons, who have the ftrongeft paffions on every other fubject, and nothing but coldnefs and indifference in matters of religion? What fhall be faid of the fame perfons, who are easily and deeply af fected with all temporal fufferings, and yet are but very flightly affected with a fenfe of the evil of fin? Whofe tears flow readily and copioufly over a dying friend, but have no tears at all to fhed over a dying Saviour? Does this at all correfpond with the defcription given by the prophet, "of mourning as for an only fon?" in which penitential forrow is compared to the most severe and exquifite of all human calamities. I muft, however, obferve, that temporal fufferings are ordinarily attended and aggravated by fenfible images, and are also sometimes fudden and unexpected, on both which accounts they may more powerfully call forth the expreffions of forrow and fympathy. But it is not difficult to judge which of them dwells moft heavily upon the mind, which of them would be firft avoided by the deliberate choice of the heart. Every true penitent does certainly fee fin to be the greatest of all evils, and will discover this by comparison with all the other evils of which he hath at present any knowledge or experience.

4. I fhall only mention one other evidence of conviction's being to a proper degree, which is when a fenfe of the evil of fin is ftill growing, inftead of diminifhing. This will be found effentially to diftinguifh a fenfe of the evil of fin in itself, from a mere terror of God's power in taking vengeance on the finner. Time gradually weakens the öne, but knowledge, and even the mercy of God, contifues to increase the other. When a finner is brought under great convictions, it is a state fo painful and diftreff ing, that it cannot continue long. Some kind of peace muft of neceffity fucceed. Either he ftifles his convictions, hides the danger by fhutting his own eyes, and returns to his former fecurity and licentioufnefs of practice; or he docs fome things for a time, to quiet the cries of confci ence, and lay a foundation for future peace; or, laftly, be

returns to God through Chrift, by true repentance, and continues to ferve him in newness of life.

The firft of thefe cafes needs no illuftration; the fenfe of fin in all fuch perfons being not fo properly weakened as deftroyed. In the fecond, the finner is under great refraints for a feason, but, when the terror is over, his obe. dience and diligence is immediately relaxed. This shows plainly, that he had no fincere or cordial affection to the law of God, but was afraid of his power. It fhews that his convictions never were of a right kind, and, therefore, it is no wonder their ftrength fhould decay. But, in every true penitent, a fenfe of fin not only continues, but daily increases. His growing difcovery of the glory of God, points out more clearly to him his own corruption and depravity, both in its quantity and its malignity, fo to fpeak. The very mercies of God, whatever delight or fweetnefs they afford, take nothing away from his sense of the evil of his doings, but rather melt him down in penitential forrow. They ferve to cover him with confufion at his own unworthinefs, and to fill him with wonder at the divine patience and condefcenfion.

The first work of a convinced finner is, to mourn over the grofs enormities of a profligate life, or a life devoted to worldly purfuits. And his continued employment after converfian is, to refift and wrestle with that inherent corruption which was hidden from his view before, but becomes daily more and more fenfible. So true is this, that I have known many inftances in which the most genuine expreffions of felf-abafement happening to fall from aged experienced Chriftians, have appeared to others as little better than affectation. They were not able to conceive the propriety of these fentiments, which long acquaintance with God and with ourselves doth naturally and infallibly infpire.

From thefe remarks, let me beg the reader to judge of the reality and progrefs of the fpiritual life. Does your fenfe of the evil of fin not only continue, but grow? Do you now fee fin in many things which you never fufpeted before? Do you fee more of the boldnefs, ingratitude,

and fottish folly of finners and defpifers of God? Are you daily making new difcoveries of the vanity, fenfuality, and treachery of your own hearts? Be not difcouraged at it, but humbled by it. Let it empty you of all felf-esteem and felf-dependence, and give you a higher relifh of the gospel of peace. The fubftance of the gospel is "falvation to the "chief of finners, by the riches df divine grace, and the fanctification of your polluted natures by the power of "the Holy Ghost.”

As I would willingly give as much information and inftruction as poffible, I fhall, before quitting this part of the fubject, fpeak a few words of a pretty extraordinary opinion to be found in fome of the practical writers of the laft age. It is, that genuine conviction, and the foul's fubjection to God, ought to be carried fo far in every true penitent, as to make him willing, fatisfied, and, fome fay, even "pleased," that God fhould glorify his juftice in his everlasting perdition. This is fo repugnant to nature, and to that very folicitude about our eternal happiness, by which the confcience is firft laid hold of, that it appears to be utterly impoffible. There have been many to whom this requifition has given inexpreffible concern, has been a daily fare to their confcience, and an obftruction to their peace. There is fuch an infeparable connection between our duty and happinefs, that the queftion fhould never have been moved; but, for the fatisfaction of thofe who may have met, or may fill meet with it in authors, otherwife defervedly efteemed, I fhall make fome remarks, I which I hope will either explain it in a found fenfe, or fhew it to be at bottom falfe.

Men do often differ more in words than in fubftance. Perhaps what thefe authors chiefly nean, is no more than what has been explained above at confiderable length. viz. That the finner finds himfelf without excufe, his "mouth "is ftopped," he feeth the holiness of the law, he confeffeth the juftice of the fentence, he quits every claim but mercy. Thus he may be faid to abfolve or juftify God, though he fhould leave him to perifh for ever. So far, I apprehend, it is undeniably juft; otherwife, the very foundation of the gofpel is overthrown, and falvation is not

"of grace," but "of debt." If we impartially examine the word mercy, and the many firong declarations in fcripture of our obligations to God for the gift of eternal life, we fhall find that they cannot, confiftently, imply lefs, than that the finner "deferved," and was liable, to "eternal death."

แ

But to carry the thing farther, and to fay that the penitent must be pleafed and fatisfied with damnation itself, as he is pleased with fuffering in another view, as it is his heavenly Father's fanctified rod, appears to me to be at once unnatural, unreasonable, unlawful, and impoffible, It is plainly contrary to that defire of our own happiness which is fo deeply implanted in our natures, and which feems to be infeparable from a rational creature. No fuch thing is, either directly or confequentially, afferted in the holy fcriptures, which fo often urge us to a due care of our own best interests. "Wherefore, fays the prophet, do you fpend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which fatisfieth not? Hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, "and let your foul delight itself in fatnefs. Incline your "ear, and come unto me, hear, and your fouls fhall live, " and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even "the fure mercies of David."* Further, the propofition feems to me neceffarily to imply an impoffibility in itself. For what is damnation? It is to be for ever feparated from, and deprived of, the fruition of God. Is this then, a dutiful object either of defire or acquiefcence? It is to hate God and blafpheme his name, as well as to be banished from his prefence. Can this be tolerable to any true penitent? or is it reconcileable to, or confiflent with, fubjection to his righteous will? Can any creature be fuppofed to please God, by giving up all hope of his favor? Or is it lefs abfurd than "difobeying" him from a fenfe of "duty," and "hating" him from a principle of “love ?"

We muft, therefore, carefully feparate the acknowledgment of divine justice, and most unconditional fubjection to the divine fovereignty, from an abfolute defpair, or giv ing up all hope in the divine mercy. We have a very

* Ifa. Iv. 2, 3*