Page images

forming a remove from one place to an- | acquired his eloquence. Seneca in his let. other. I should be a cure for the unnatural ters to Lucilius assures him there was not desire of John Trot for dancing, and a spe- a day in which he did not either write cific to lessen the inclination Mrs. Fidget something, or read and epitomize some good has to motion, and cause her always to give author; and I remember Pliny in one of his her approbation to the present place she letters, where he gives an account of the is in. In fine, no Egyptian mummy was various methods he used to fill up every ever half so useful in physic, as I should be vacancy of time, after several employments to these feverish constitutions, to repress which he enumerates; “Sometimes,” says the violent sallies of youth, and give each he, “I hunt : but even then I carry with action its proper weight and repose. me a pocket-book, that whilst my servants

I can stifle any violent inclination, and are busied in disposing of the nets and other oppose a torrent of anger, or the solícita- matters, I may be employed in something tions of revenge, with success. Indolence that may be useful to me in my studies; is a stream which flows slowly on, but yet and that if I miss of my game, I may at the undermines the foundation of every virtue. least bring home some of my own thoughts A vice of a more lively nature were a more with me, and not have the mortification of desirable tyrant than this rust of the mind, having caught nothing all day. which gives a tincture of its nature to every •Thus, sir, you see how many examples action of one's life. It were as little hazard I recall to mind, and what arguments I use to be lost in a storm, as to lie thus perpe- with myself to regain my liberty: but as I tually becalmed: and it is to no purpose to am afraid it is no ordinary persuasion that have within one the seeds of a thousand good will be of service, I shall expect your qualities, if we want the vigour and resolu- thoughts on this subject with the greatest tion necessary for the exerting them. Death impatience, especially since the good will brings all persons back to an equality; and not be confined to me alone, but will be of this image of it, this slumber of the mind, universal use. For there is no hope of leaves no difference between the grcatest amendment where men are pleased with genius, and the meanest understanding. A their ruin, and whilst they think laziness faculty of doing things remarkably praise- is a desirable character; whether it be that worthy, thus concealed, is of no more use they like the state itself, or that they think to the owner than a heap of gold to the man it gives them a new lustre when they do who dares not use it.

exert themselves, seemingly to be able to •To-morrow is still the fatal time when do that without labour and application, all is to be rectified. To-morrow comes, it which others attain to but with the greatest goes, and still I please myself with the diligence. I am, sir, your most obliged humshadow, whilst I lose the reality: unmind- ble servant, SAMUEL SLACK.' ful that the present time alone is ours, the future is yet unborn, and the past is dead,

Clytander to Cleone. and can only live (as parents in their chil- •Madam,-Permission to love you is all dren,) in the actions it has produced. that I desire, to conquer all the difficulties

• The time we live ought not to be com- those about you place in my way, to surputed by the number of years, but by the mount and acquire all those qualifications use that has been made of it; thus, it is you expect in him who pretends to the not the extent of ground, but the yearly honour of being, madam, your most devoted rent, which gives the value to the estate. humble servant, Wretched and thoughtless creatures, in the


•CLYTANDER.' only place where covetousness were a virtue, we turn prodigals! Nothing lies upon our hands with such uneasiness, nor have No. 317.] Tuesday, March 4, 1711-12. there been so many devices for any one thing, as to make it slide away impercepti- -Fruges consumere nati. Hor. Ep. ii. Lib. 1. 27. bly and to no purpose. A shilling shall be hoarded up with care, whilst that which is above the price of an estate is Aung away death, asked his friends who stood about

AUGUSTUS, a few minutes before his with disregard and contempt. There is nothing now-a-days, so much avoided, as a well; and upon receiving such an answer

him, if they thought he had acted his part solicitous improvement of every part of time; it is a report must be shunned as one

as was due to his extraordinary merit, •Let tenders the name of a wit and a fine genius, me, then,' says, he, ‘go off the stage with and as one fears the dreadful character of your applause;' using the expression with

which the Roman actors made their exit a laborious plodder: but notwithstanding this, the greatest wits any age has pro- could wish that men, while they are in

at the conclusion of a dramatic piece. * I duced thought far otherwise; for who can think either Socrates or Demosthenes lost health, would consider well the nature of any reputation by their continual pains both figure it will make in the minds of those

the part they are engaged in, and what the gifts of nature. All are acquainted with they leave behind them, whether it was the labour and assiduity with which Tully

* Vos valete et plaudite.

-Born to drink and eat.



worth coming into the world for; whether Hours ten, eleven, and twelve. Smoked it be suitable to a reasonable being; in short, three pipes of Virginia. Read the Supplewhether it appears graceful in this life, or ment and Daily Courant. Things go ill in will turn to an advantage in the next. Let the north. Mr. Nisby's opinion thereupon. the sycophant, or the buffoon, the satirist, One o'clock in the afternoon. Chid Ralph or the good companion, consider with him- for mislaying my tobacco-box. self, when his body shall be laid in the Two o'clock. Sat down to dinner. Mem. grave, and his soul pass into another state Too many plumbs, and no suet. of existence, how much it will redound to From three to four. Took my afternoon's his praise to have it said of him that no nap. man in England ate better, that he had an From four to six. Walked in the fields. admirable talent at turning his friends into Wind S. S. E. ridicule, that nobody out-did him at an ill- From six to ten. At the Club. Mr. natured jest, or that he never went to bed Nisby's opinion about the peace. before he had despatched his third bottle. Ten o'clock. Went to bed, slept sound. These are, however, very common funeral orations and eulogiums on deceased per

TUESDAY, being holiday, eight o'clock, sons who have acted among mankind with rose as usual. some figure and reputation.

Nine o'clock. Washed hands and face, But if we look into the bulk of our spe

shaved, put on my double-soled shoes. cies, they are such as are not likely to be

Ten, eleven, twelve. Took a walk to remembered a moment after their disap

Islington pearance. They leave behind them no

One. Took a pot of Mother Cob's mild. traces of their existence, but are forgotten on a knuckle of veal and bacon. Mem.

Between two and three. Returned, dined
as though they had never been. They are Sprouts wanting.
neither wanted by the poor, regretted by
the rich, nor celebrated by the learned.

Three. Nap as usual.
They are neither missed in the common- the news. A dish of twist. Grand vizier

From four to six. Coffee-house. Read
wealth, nor lamented by private persons.
Their actions are of no significancy to man-

strangled. kind, and might have been performed by

From six to ten. At the club, Mr. Niscreatures of much less dignity than those by's account of the Great Turk. who are distinguished by the faculty of rea

Ten. Dream of the grand vizier. Broken son. An eminent French author speaks sleep. somewhere to the following purpose: I WEDNESDAY, eight o'clock. Tongue have often seen from my chamber win- of my shoe-buckle broke. Hands but not dow two noble creatures, both of them of face. an erect countenance and endowed with Nine. Paid off the butcher's bill. Mem. reason. These two intellectual beings are To be allowed for the last leg of mutton. employed from morning to night in rubbing Ten, eleven. At the Coffee-house. More two smooth stones one upon another; that work in the north. Stranger in a black wig is, as the vulgar phrase is, in polishing asked me how stocks went. marble.

From twelve to one. Walked in the My friend, Sir Andrew Freeport, as we fields. Wind to the south. were sitting in the club last night, gave us From one to two. Smoked a pipe and a an account of a sober citizen, who died a half. few days since. This honest man being of Two. Dined as usual. Stomach good. greater consequence in his own thoughts Three. Nap broke by the falling of a than in the eye of the world, had for some pewter dish. Mem. Cook-maid in love, years past kept a journal of his life. Sir An- and grown careless. drew showed us one week of it. Since the From four to six. At the coffee-house. occurrences set down in it mark out such a Advice from Smyrna that the grand vizier road of action as that I have been speaking was first of all strangled, and afterwards of, I shall present my reader with a faith- beheaded. ful copy of it; after having first informed Six o'clock in the evening. Was half him, that the deceased person had in his an hour in the club before any body else youth been bred to trade, but finding him- came. Mr. Nisby of opinion that the self not so well turned for business, he had grand vizier was not strangled the sixth for several years last past lived altogether instant. apon a moderate annuity. *

Ten at night. Went to bed. Slept withMONDAY, eight o'clock. I put on my out waking until nine the next morning. lothes and walked into the parlour. THURSDAY, nine o'clock. Staid within

Nine o'clock ditto. Tied my knee-strings, until two o'clock for Sir Timothy; who did ad washed my hands.

not bring me my annuity according to his It has been conjectured that this journal was in promise. aded to ridicule a gentleman who was a member of Two in the afternoon. Sat down to din

congregation named Independents, where a Mr. Nesofficiated as minister. See John Dunton's account ner. Loss of appetite. Small-beer sour. is Life, Errors and Opinions.

Beef over-corned.

Three. Could not take my nap. No. 318.] Wednesday, March 5, 1711-12.

Four and five. Gave Ralph a box on the ear. Turned off my cook-maid. Sent a

-non omnia possumus omnes.

Virg. Ecl. viii. 63. messenger to Sir Timothy. Mem. I did

With different talents forin'd, we variously excel.* not go to the club to night. Went to bed at nine o'clock.

•MR. SPECTATOR, A certain vice,

which you have lately attacked, has not Friday. Passed the morning in medita- yet been considered by you as growing so tion upon Sir Timothy, who was with me a deep in the heart of man, that the affectaquarter before twelve.

tion outlives the practice of it. You must Twelve o'clock. Bought a new head to have observed, that men who have been my cane, and a tongue to my buckle. Drank bred in arms preserve to the most extreme a glass of purl to recover appetite.

and feeble old age, a certain daring in their Two and three. Dined and slept well.

aspect. In like manner, they who have From four to six. Went to the coffee- passed their time in gallantry and advenhouse. Met Mr. Nisby there. . Smoked ture, keep up, as well as they can, the apseveral pipes. Mr. Nisby of opinion that pearance of it, and carry a petulant inclilaced coffee is bad for the head.

nation to their last moments. Let this Six o'clock. At the club as steward. serve for a preface to a relation I am going Sat late.

to give you of an old beau in town, that has Twelve o'clock. Went to bed, dreamt that not only been amorous, and a follower of I drank small beer with the grand vizier,

women in general, but also, in spite of the SATURDAY. Waked at eleven, walked

admonition of grey hairs, been from his in the fields, wind N. E.

sixty-third year to his present seventieth,

in an actual pursuit of a young lady, the Twelve. Caught in a shower.

One in the afternoon. Returned home wife of his friend, and a man of merit. 'The and dried myself.

gay old Escalus has wit, good health, and Two. Mr. Nisby dined with me. First and manners of the court when he was in

is perfectly well-bred; but from the fashion course, marrow-bones; second, ox-cheek, his bloom, has such a natural tendency to with a bottle of Brooks and Hellier, Three. Overslept myself.

amorous adventure, that he thought it Six. Went to the club. Like to have would be an endless reproach to him to fallen into a gutter. Grand vizier certainly at a gentleman's house, whose good hu

make no use of a familiarity he was allowed dead, &c.

mour and confidence exposed his wife to I question not but the reader will be sur- the addresses of any who should take it in prised to find the above-mentioned journal- their head to do him the good office. It is ist taking so much care of a life that was not impossible that Escalus might also refilled with such inconsiderable actions, and sent that the husband was particularly nereceived so very small improvements; and gligent of him; and though he gave many yet, if we look into the behaviour of many intiinations of a passion towards the wife, whom we daily converse with, we shall find the husband either did not see them, or put that most of their hours are taken up in him to the contempt of overlooking them. those three important articles of eating, In the mean time Isabella, for so we shall drinking, and sleeping. I do not suppose call our heroine, saw his passion, and rethat a man loses his time, who is not en-joiced in it, as a foundation for much divergaged in public affairs, or in an illustrious sion, and an opportunity of indulging hercourse of action. On the contrary, I believe self in the dear delight of being admired, our hours may very often be more profit- addressed to, and Hattered, with no ili ably laid out in such transactions as make consequence to her reputation. This lady no figure in the world, than in such as are is of a free and disengaged behaviour, apt to draw upon them the attention of ever in good-humour, such as is the image mankind. One may become wiser and bet- of innocence with those who are innocent, ter by several methods of employing one's and an encouragement to vice with those self in secrecy and silence, and do what is who are abandoned. From this kind of laudable without noise or ostentation. I carriage, and an apparent approbation of would, however, recommend to every one his gallantry, Escalus had frequent opporof my readers, the keeping a journal of tunities of laying amorous epistles in her their lives for one week, and setting down way, of fixing his eyes attentively upon her punctually their whole series of employ- actions, of performing a thousand little ofments during that space of time. This fices which are neglected by the unconcernkind of self-examination would give them ed, but are so many approaches towards a true state of themselves, and incline them happiness with the enamoured. It was to consider seriously what they are about now, as is above hinted, almost the end of One day would rectify the omissions of the seventh year of his passion, when Esanother, and make a man weigh all those calus, from general terms, and the ambig)indifferent actions, which though they are easily forgotten, must certainly be account

. The motto to this paper in folio was, ed for.


Rideat, et pulset lasciva decentius ætas.'--Her

ous respect which criminal lovers retain in ness has not destroyed the esteem I had for their addresses, began to bewail that his you, which was confirmed by so many years passion grew too violent for him to answer of obstinate virtue. You have reason to reany longer for his behaviour towards her, joice that this did not happen within the and that he hoped she would have consi- observation of one of the young fellows, who deration for his long and patient respect, would have exposed your weakness, and

excuse the emotions of a heart now no gloried in his own brutish inclinations. longer under the direction of the unhappy “I am, Madam, your most devoted humowner of it. Such, for some months, had ble servant. been the language of Escalus, both in his talk and his letters to Isabella, who re

'Isabella, with the help of her husband, turned all the profusion of kind things returned the following answer: which had been the collection of fifty years, “SIR, I cannot but account myself a with " I must not hear you; you will make very happy woman, in having a man for a me forget that you are a gentleman; I would lover that can write so well, and give so not willingly lose you as a friend;" and the good a turn to a disappointment. Another like expressions, which the skilful inter- excellence you have above all other prepret to their own advantage, as well know- tenders I ever heard of; on occasions where ing that a feeble denial is a modest assent. the most reasonable men lose all their reaI should have told you that Isabella, during son, you have yours most powerful. We the whole progress of this amour, commu- have each of us to thank our genius that nicated it to her husband; and that an ac- the passion of one abated in proportion count of Escalus's love was their usual en- as that of the other grew violent. Does it tertainment after half a day's absence. not yet come into your head to imagine, Isabella therefore, upon her lover's late that I knew my compliance was the greatmore open assaults, with a smile told her est cruelty I could be guilty of towards husband she could hold out no longer, but you? In return for your long and faithful that his fate was now come to a crisis. After passion, I must let you know that you are she had explained herself a little farther, old enough to become a little more gravity; with her husband's approbation, she pro- but if you will leave me, and coquet it any ceeded in the following manner. The next where else, may your mistress yield. time that Escalus was alone with her, and T.

“ ISABELLA." repeated his importunity, the crafty Isabella looked on her fan with an air of great attention, as considering of what impor- No. 319.] Thursday, March 6, 1711-12. tance such a secret was to her; and upon the repetition of a warm expression, she looked Quo tencam vultus mutantem Protea nodo? at him with an eye of fondness, and told

Hor. Ep. i. Lib. 1. 90. him he was past that time of life which

Say while they change on thus, what chains can bind could make her fear he would boast of a These varying forms, this Proteus of the mind ? lady's favour; then turned away her head,

Francis. with a very well acted confusion, which I HAVE endeavoured in the course of my favoured the escape of the aged Escalus. papers to do justice to the age, and have This adventure was matter of great plea- taken care, as much as possible, to keep santry to Isabella and her spouse; and they myself a neuter between both sexes. I have had enjoyed it two days before Escalus neither spared the ladies out of complaicould recollect himself enough to form the sance, nor the men out of partiality, but following letter:

notwithstanding the great integrity with

which I have acted in this particular, I “MADAM,-What happened the other find myself taxed with an inclination to faday gives me a lively image of the incon- vour my own

half of the species. Whether sistency of human passions and inclinations. it be that the women afford a more fruitful We pursue what we are denied, and place field for speculation, or whether they run our affections on what is absent, though we more in my head than the men, I cannot neglected it when present. As long as you tell; but I shall set down the charge as it refused my love, your refusal did so strongly is laid against me in the following letter. excite my passion, that I had not once the leisure to think of recalling my reason to aid

• MR. SPECTATOR,-) always make one me against the design upon your virtue. among a company of young females, who But when that virtue began to comply in peruse your speculations every morning. I my favour, my reason made an effort over am at present commissioned by our whole my love, and let me see the baseness of my assembly to let you know, that we fear you behaviour in attempting a woman of honour. are a little inclined to be partial towards own to you, it was not without the most your own sex. We must, however, acjolent struggle that I gained this victory knowledge, with all due gratitude, that in ver myself, nay, I will confess my shame, some cases you have given us our revenge

d acknowledge, I could not have pre- on the men, and done us justice. We could ailed but by flight. However, madam, I not easily have forgiven you several strokes g that you will believe a moment's weak- in the dissection of the coquette's heart, if VOL. II.


you had not, much about the same time, ; upon the hat and feather; however, to wipe made a sacrifice to us of a beau's skull. off the present imputation, and gratify my

* You may further, sir, please to remem- female correspondent, I shall here print a ber, that not long since you attacked our letter which I lately received from a man hoods and commodes in such a manner, as, of mode, who seems to have a very extrato use your own expression, made very ordinary genius in his way. many of us ashamed to show our heads. We must therefore beg leave to represent to you that we are in hopes, if you will

'SIR,-I presume I need not inform you, please to make a due inquiry, the men in that among men of dress it is a common

Mr. Such-a-one has struck all ages would be found to have been little phrase to say, less whimsical in adorning that part than a bold stroke;" by which we understand, ourselves. The different forms of their that he is the first man who has had courage wigs, together with the various cocks of enough to lead up a fashion. Accordingly, their hats, all flatter us in this opinion.

when our tailors take measure of us, they I had an humble servant last summer, plain suit, or strike a bold stroke." I think

always demand “whether we will have a who the first time he declared himself, was in a full-bottomed wig; but the day after,

may without vanity say, that I have struck to my no small surprise, he accosted me in some of the boldest and most successful a thin natural one. I received him at this the first that struck the long pocket about

strokes of any man in Great Britain. I was our second interview as a perfect stranger; two years since; I was likewise the author but was extremely confounded when his speech discovered who he was. I resolved, of the frosted button, which when I saw the therefore to fix his face in my memory for town come readily into, being resolved to the future; but as I was walking in the strike while the iron was hot

, I produced Park the same evening, he appeared to me the knotted cravat, and made a fair push

much about the same time the scallop fiap, in one of those wigs that I think you call a for the silver-clocked stocking. night-cap, which had altered him more effectually than before. He afterwards play- modish jacket, or the coat with close

"A few months after I brought up the ed a couple of black riding-wigs upon me sleeves. I struck this at first in a plain with the same success, and, in short, assumed a new face almost every day in the Doily; but that failing, I struck it a second first month of his courtship.

time in a blue camlet, and repeated the I observed afterwards, that the variety

stroke in several kinds of cloth, until at last of cocks into which he moulded his hat, had it took effect. There are two or three not a little contributed to his impositions who have always their eye upon me, and

young fellows at the other end of the town upon me.

Yet, as if all these ways were not suf- answer me stroke for stroke. I was once ficient to distinguish their heads, you must tion to a new-fashioned surtout before one

so unwary as to mention my fancy in reladoubtless, sir, have observed, that great of these gentlemen, who was disingenucus numbers of young fellows have, for several months last past, taken upon them to wear

enough to steal my thought, and by that feathers.

means prevented my intended stroke. We hope, therefore, that these may, considerable innovations in the waistcoat;

• I have a design this spring to make very with as much justice, be called Indian and have already begun with a coup d'esti princes, as you have styled a woman in a coloured hood an Indian queen; and that upon the sleeves, which has succeeded you will in due time take these airy gentle

very well. men into consideration.

Í must further inform you, if you will •We the more earnestly beg that you at me, that it is my design to strike such a

promise to encourage, or at least to connive would put a stop to this practice, since it stroke the beginning of the next month as has already lost us one of the most agree shall surprise the whole town. able members of our society, who after having refused several good estates, and

*I do not think it prudent to acquaint two titles, was lured from us last week by dress; but will only tell you, as a sample of

you with all the particulars of my intended a mixed feather. 'I am ordered to present you with the White's in a cherry-coloured hat. I took

it, that I shall very speedily appear at respects of our whole company, and am,

this hint from the ladies' hoods, which I “Sir, your very humble servant,


look upon as the boldest stroke that sex has

struck' for these hundred years last past. I • Note. The person wearing the feather," am, sir, your most obedient, most humble though our friend took him for an officer in servant, WILL SPRIGHTLY.' the guards, has proved to be an errant linendraper.'

I have not tine at present to make any

reflections on this letter; but must not I am not now at leisure to give my opinion however omit that having shown it to Will

Honeycomb, he desires to be acquainted * Only an ensign in the train-bands. Spect, in folio. with the gentleman who writ it.


« PreviousContinue »