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cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
Nym. I will run no base humor; here, take the humor-letter; I will keep the 'havior of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rov.] bear you these letters
tightly; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack! Falstaff will learn the humor of this age, French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and
fullam ? holds,
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humors of revenge.
Pist. Wilt thou revenge ?
Nym. With both the humors, I:
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile.
1 Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
2 In Decker's Bellman of London, 1640, among the false dice are enumerated “ a bale of fullams "_"a bale of gordes, with as many high men as low men for passage.” The false dice were chiefly made at Fulham; hence the name. The manner in which they were made is described in The Complete Gamester, 1676, 12mo. 3 Sixpence I'll have in pocket. VOL. I.
Page to deal with poison ; I will
him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humor.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on.
SCENE IV. A Room in Dr. Caius's House.
Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, Simple, and Rugby. Quick. What; John Rugby!—I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch.
[Exit Rugby. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.-An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate:2 his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault ;—but let that pass.
Peter Simple, you say, your name is ?
Sim. Ay, for a fault of a better.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring knife ?
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-colored beard.3
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not ?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.5
3 It is said that Cain and Judas, in old pictures and tapestry, were constantly represented with yellow beards.
4 A free version of the French Homme haut à la main. 5 The keeper of a warren.
Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember him; Does he not hold up his head, as it were ? and strut in his gait?
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune? Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish
Quick. We shall all be shent:' Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long.–What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say !-Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home :—and down, down, adown-a, fc. [Sings.
Enter Doctor Caius. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd ; a box, a green-a box; Do intend vat I speak? a-green-a box.
Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.
[Aside. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! mai foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la Cour,—la grande affaire.
Quick. Is it this, sir ?
Čaius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Dépêche, quickly :-Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick. What, John Rugby! John !
Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby : Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.
Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
Qu'ay j'oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.
Caius. O diable, diable ! vat is in my closet ?-Villany? larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, my rapier. Quick. Good master, be content. Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man.
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in
closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: He came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.
Caius. Sir Hugh send a you ?—Rugby, baillez me some paper :- Tarry you a little-awhile. [Writes.
Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy ;—But notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master, -I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself ;
Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand.
Quick. Are you avised o’ that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early, and down late ;but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love his dog
with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, -I know Anne's mind,—that's neither here nor there.
Caius. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park ; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make :—you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here :-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at
[Exit SimplE. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?-by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jurterre to measure our weapon :-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate : What, the good-jer!)
Caius. Rugby, come to the court vid me ;-By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out door :-Follow
my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own.
. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho?
I house, I pray you.
Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?
Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
1 She means to say goujere. See Vol. VII. p. 121. note 1.