now think of receiving him with proper respect (a loud rapping at the door), and there he is, by the thundering rap.

Croaker. Ay, verily, there he is; as close upon the heels of his own express, as an endorsement upon the back of a bill. Well, I'll leave you to receive him, whilst I go to chide my little Olivia for intending to steal a marriage without mine or her aunt's consent. I must seem to be angry, or she, too, may begin to despise my authority. [Exit.

Enter LOFTY,1 speaking to his servant

Lofty. And if the Venetian Ambassador, or that teasing creature the Marquis, should call, I'm not at home. Dam'me, I'll be pack-horse to none of them! My dear madam, I have just snatched a moment-And if the expresses to his Grace be ready, let them be sent off; they're of importance. Madam, I ask a thousand

pardons!

Mrs. Croaker. Sir, this honour

Lofty. And, Dubardieu! If the person calls about the commission, let him know that it is made out. As for Lord Cumbercourt's stale request, it can keep cold: you understand me. Madam, I ask ten thousand pardons!

Mrs. Croaker. Sir, this honour

Lofty. And, Dubardieu! If the man comes from the Cornish borough, you must do him; you must do him, I say! Madam I ask ten thousand pardons! And if the Russian-Ambassador calls: but he will scarce call today, I believe. And now, madam, I have just got time to express my happiness in having the honour of being permitted to profess myself your most obedient humble servant!

Mrs. Croaker. Sir, the happiness and honour are all mine; and yet, I'm only robbing the public while I detain you.

Lofty. Sink the public, madam, when the fair are to [1 Lofty, in some respects, is a variation upon "Beau Tibbs" in The Citizen of the World.]

be attended. Ah, could all my hours be so charmingly devoted! Sincerely, don't you pity us poor creatures in affairs? Thus it is eternally; solicited for places here, teased for pensions there, and courted everywhere. I know you pity me. Yes, I see you do!

Mrs. Croaker. Excuse me, sir. Toils of empires pleasures are, as Waller says.

Lofty. Waller, Waller; is he of the House? Mrs. Croaker. The modern poet of that name, sir. Lofty. Oh, a modern! We men of business despise the moderns; and as for the ancients, we have no time to read them. Poetry is a pretty thing enough for our wives and daughters; but not for us. Why now, here I

✓ stand that know nothing of books. I say, madam, I

know nothing of books; and yet, I believe, upon a land carriage fishery, a stamp act, or a jag-hire, I can talk my two hours without feeling the want of them!

Mrs. Croaker. The world is no stranger to Mr. Lofty's eminence in every capacity!

Lofty. I vow to Gad, madam, you make me blush. I'm nothing, nothing, nothing in the world; a mere obscure gentleman! To be sure, indeed, one or two of the present ministers are pleased to represent me as a formidable man. I know they are pleased to bespatter me at all their little dirty levées. Yet, upon my soul, I wonder what they see in me to treat me so! Measures, not men,1 have always been my mark; and I vow, by all that's honourable, my resentment has never done the men, as mere men, any manner of harm-That is, as

mere men.

Mrs. Croaker. What importance, and yet what modesty!

I

Lofty. Oh, if you talk of modesty, madam! There, I own, I'm accessible to praise : modesty is my foible: it was so the Duke of Brentford used to say of me. love Jack Lofty, he used to say: no man has a finer knowledge of things; quite a man of information; and

[1 Goldsmith is generally credited with this sentiment; but from a sentence in Burke's Thoughts on the Causes of the Present Discontents, 1770, it would seem to have been a cant political phrase.]

when he speaks upon his legs, by the lord, he's prodigious, he scouts them; and yet all men have their faults; too much modesty is his, says his Grace.

Mrs. Croaker. And yet, I dare say, you don't want assurance when you come to solicit for your friends.

When I

Lofty. O, there indeed I'm in bronze. A-propos, I have just been mentioning Miss Richland's case to a certain personage; we must name no names. ask, I am not to be put off, madam! No, no, I take my friend by the button. A fine girl, sir; great justice in her case. A friend of mine. Borough interest. Business must be done, Mr. Secretary. I say, Mr. Secretary, her business must be done, sir. That's my way, madam !

Mrs. Croaker. Bless me! you said all this to the Secretary of State, did you?

Lofty. I did not say the Secretary, did I? Well, curse it, since you have found me out, I will not deny it. It was to the Secretary !

Mrs. Croaker. This was going to the fountain-head at once, not applying to the understrappers, as Mr. Honeywood would have had us.

Lofty. Honeywood! he! he! He was, indeed, a fine solicitor. I suppose you have heard what has just happened to him?

Mrs. Croaker. Poor dear man! no accident, I hope! Lofty. Undone, madam, that's all. His creditors have taken him into custody. A prisoner in his own house! Mrs. Croaker. A prisoner in his own house! How! At this very time! I'm quite unhappy for him.

Lofty. Why, so am I ! The man, to be sure, was immensely good-natur'd. But then, I could never find that he had anything in him.

Mrs. Croaker. His manner, to be sure, was excessive harmless; some, indeed, thought it a little dull. For my part, I always concealed my opinion.

Lofty. It can't be concealed, madam; the man was dull, dull as the last new comedy!1 A poor impracticable

[1 The "last new comedy" was the False Delicacy of Goldsmith's Rival, Hugh Kelly, just produced at Drury Lane. But Goldsmith could scarcely have intended this "palpable hit."]

creature! I tried once or twice to know if he was fit for business; but he had scarce talents to be groom-porter to an orange barrow!

Mrs. Croaker. How differently does Miss Richland think of him! For, I believe, with all his faults, she loves him.

Lofty. Loves him! Does she? You should cure her of that, by all means. Let me see, what if she were sent to him this instant, in his present doleful situation? My life for it, that works her cure! Distress is a perfect antidote to love. Suppose we join her in the next room? Miss Richland is a fine girl, has a fine fortune, and must not be thrown away. Upon my honour, madam, I have a regard for Miss Richland; and, rather than she should be thrown away, I should think it no indignity to marry her myself! [Exeunt.

Enter OLIVIA and LEONTINE

Leont. And yet, trust me, Olivia, I had every reason to expect Miss Richland's refusal, as I did everything in my power to deserve it. Her indelicacy surprises me!

Olivia. Sure, Leontine, there's nothing so indelicate in being sensible of your merit. If so, I fear, I shall be the most guilty thing alive!

Leont. But you mistake, my dear. The same attention I used to advance my merit with you, I practised to lessen it with her. What more could I do?

Olivia. Let us now rather consider what's to be done. We have both dissembled too long-I have always been asham'd-I am now quite weary of it. Sure, I could never have undergone so much for any other but you.

Leont. And you shall find my gratitude equal to your kindest compliance. Though our friends should totally forsake us, Olivia, we can draw upon content for the deficiencies of fortune.

Olivia. Then why should we defer our scheme of humble happiness, when it is now in our power? I may be the favourite of your father, it is true; but can it ever be thought, that his present kindness to a supposed child, will continue to a known deceiver?

Leont. I have many reasons to believe it will. As his attachments are but few, they are lasting. His own marriage was a private one, as ours may be. Besides, I have sounded him already at a distance, and find all his answers exactly to our wish. Nay, by an expression or two that dropped from him, I am induced to think he knows of this affair.

Olivia. Indeed! But that would be an happiness too great to be expected.

Leont. However it be, I'm certain you have power over him; and am persuaded, if you informed him of our situation, that he would be disposed to pardon it.

Olivia. You had equal expectations, Leontine, from your last scheme with Miss Richland, which you find has succeeded most wretchedly.

Leont. And that's the best reason for trying another. Olivia. If it must be so, I submit.

Leont. As we could wish, he comes this way. Now, my dearest Olivia, be resolute. I'll just retire within hearing, to come in at a proper time, either to share your danger, or confirm your victory. [Exit.

Enter CROAKER

Croaker. Yes, I must forgive her; and yet not too easily, neither. It will be proper to keep up the decorums of resentment a little, if it be only to impress her with an idea of my authority.

Olivia. How I tremble to approach him!-Might I presume, sir-if I interrupt you

Croaker. No, child, where I have an affection, it is not a little thing can interrupt me. Affection gets over little things.

Olivia. Sir, you're too kind! I'm sensible how ill I deserve this partiality. Yet, Heaven knows, there is nothing I would not do to gain it.

Croaker. And you have but too well succeeded, you little hussy, you! With those endearing ways of yours, on my conscience, I could be brought to forgive anything, unless it were a very great offence indeed.

G